6 year Old Lying

[countrymom]

a mom I know, she needs help. Her dd is lying all the time. She's now doing it at school too, so today the teacher called home. The mom doesn't know what to do. And since you guys have way more common sense then the other board, I told her that I would ask here. Last week she punished her by not allowing her to go to her activities, but I guess it didn't work.

[Blackcat31]

maybe she could lie to her and tell her they are going out for ice cream and then when she gets really excited, tell her that it was all just a lie. She will maybe get the message about what it means to lie. I am not so sure kids up to a certain age really understand what lying is. Especially if they hear us lying. Even those little white lies make a big impact.

I am kidding about the ice cream lie but I am dealing with a 4.5 yr old at daycare who is lying up a storm right now and nothing me or her mother does seems to get the message through to her so I am anxiously waiting to see what other people suggest.

[momatheart]

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/02/11/why-do-kids-lie/

[momatheart]

http://www.drkutner.com/parenting/articles/lying.html

http://www.empoweringparents.com/Why-Do-Kids-Children-and-Teens-Lie-What-To-Do-About-It.php

[Candyland]

maybe she could lie to her and tell her they are going out for ice cream and then when she gets really excited, tell her that it was all just a lie. She will maybe get the message about what it means to lie. I am not so sure kids up to a certain age really understand what lying is. Especially if they hear us lying. Even those little white lies make a big impact.

I am kidding about the ice cream lie but I am dealing with a 4.5 yr old at daycare who is lying up a storm right now and nothing me or her mother does seems to get the message through to her so I am anxiously waiting to see what other people suggest.

You said you were kidding, Blackcat, but I think it just may work. Esp if the mom has a really good heart-to-heart talk with her. Sometimes, kids just don't get it...and they need to kindly be put in the position of understanding.

[misol]

You said you were kidding, Blackcat, but I think it just may work. Esp if the mom has a really good heart-to-heart talk with her. Sometimes, kids just don't get it...and they need to kindly be put in the position of understanding.

The same thought crossed my mind.

[countrymom]

you won't believe what this one mom wrote on the other board. She said that the school shouldn't be responsible for disciplining (even thou it happened alot yesterday at school) that the schools should teach only core stuff and that its the parents fault that the kid is lying. I know this mom who wrote this stuff, little does she know that her kids take the bus with mine and the oldest child is in my mdd class so I know all about her children, lets just say she needs to re evaluate her thinking.

[missnikki]

I have done a 'Trust Thermometer'. It's made to introduce the concept of trust.

It's 2 thermometers drawn on a piece of paper, one is mine and one is the child's. We talk about the things that I say, like "It's snack time", "We're going to do art now" or "We're going to watch a movie", whatever..... and that every time we do what I said, my thermometer fills up with trust because it's true, and that trust is inportant because it helps you know if I am telling you the truth.

Then we talk about if I say "We are going to get ice cream" but there is not ice cream, the thermometer trust level drops, because it is NOT true. (You get the idea, please don't make me type 'thermometer' again).

So then we play with ideas on their therm., asking things like "Is the sky blue?" and coloring in more for a true answer, etc... and testing things that aren't true also, to get the point across.

Make sure to add to truth slower than taking away for untrue, because it takes a long time to earn back trust.

Finally, the child is left with a visual that helps them to understand the way trust is earned and lost.

[countrymom]

what a great idea, I will pass it onto to her.

[dEHmom]

I have done a 'Trust Thermometer'. It's made to introduce the concept of trust.

It's 2 thermometers drawn on a piece of paper, one is mine and one is the child's. We talk about the things that I say, like "It's snack time", "We're going to do art now" or "We're going to watch a movie", whatever..... and that every time we do what I said, my thermometer fills up with trust because it's true, and that trust is inportant because it helps you know if I am telling you the truth.

Then we talk about if I say "We are going to get ice cream" but there is not ice cream, the thermometer trust level drops, because it is NOT true. (You get the idea, please don't make me type 'thermometer' again).

So then we play with ideas on their therm., asking things like "Is the sky blue?" and coloring in more for a true answer, etc... and testing things that aren't true also, to get the point across.

Make sure to add to truth slower than taking away for untrue, because it takes a long time to earn back trust.

Finally, the child is left with a visual that helps them to understand the way trust is earned and lost.

This is a great idea. Do you use a white board? I'm just thinking how to remove the trust if you are coloring directly on the paper. Unless you can add little strips or something? Hmmm....Thinking....Thinking....

[DCMomOf3]

That is a great idea! Do you have two pieces of paper joined together, so you can slide the thermometer filling up and down? I've done slides for words, I think it would work here too.

[missnikki]

I was trying to make it easy but you people are too smart for me!

I use a page with 2 therms drawn on it. I slip that page into a page protector sheet. I use a whiteboard marker. I've been known to use the cut out with slips too, but they played with it too much. The marker you hand to them and take back after each 'truth add'. That way, it is very hard to earn trust.