"I'm Sick/I Don't Feel Good/I'm Hurt"

[dEHmom]

Yes sorry, the staying home would be the last resort should the other methods not work. I agree with you about the behaviour being a daycare issue, not a home issue. But you mentioned you know the parents give in. So it is their issue as well. They are reinforcing it, and he is now pulling that act on you. If you know they are doing their part to deal with the issue, and the child is still acting out on it, that's another story, and the parents do not need to be involved. I just know, I never did bad things on the chance that my dad would find out! So if I was going to be made to stay home, dad would certainly find out, and there would be a consequence.

I do the saving the mess thing. But sometimes, as an example, if it's playdough, you cannot leave it sitting out for half an hour, or 2 hours waiting for him to put it away. Same with paints, etc. Often though, I can't stand looking at blocks, lego, etc spread all over my floor (I do not have a big house, or a toy room), so I'll end up cleaning it up so that I can vacuum or whatever. If it's close to home time, I would then carry forward to the next day at the start of the day.

[Lilbutterflie]

I would leave a portion of the mess that would be his "share" for him to clean up whenever he's "feeling better"--that way he doesn't get out of it at all. Gather all the legos, or blocks, or stuffed animals, or whatever into a pile and that's his job to clean up as soon as he feels well enough to get up. He can't move on to something else until that job is done.

This is exactly what I would do, too. Whatever activity he is trying to avoid, save it for him when he "feels better".

It sounds like maybe he is having a hard time with transitions? What I will usually do is make "an exciting announcement" about 5 minutes before we start a new activity. And then when the 5 minutes is up, I say "Hey everyone, guess what time it is?" and they all get to yell "Time for CLEANUP!" or whatever the activity is. That way they know what is coming and feel more in control over their activities.

[countrymom]

well, if your too sick to play then you get to lay down till someone comes and gets you. So I would tell him that he can lay there till its time to go home. Leaving the mess out just doesn't work here because the other kids would clean it up. So I would let them lay down for the rest of the day. Couple times of laying down and he'll get the hint.

[laundrymom]

We call it a dish pan belly ache. And I let them rest and everyone else move to a new activity. I tell them when they feel better they can rejoin the group. When they say they are better they clean everyones mess and then rejoin us. My cousin used to have a belly ache when it was time to do dishes,... So dishpan belly ache was born.

[daycare]

ditto....leave a share of the mess for him to clean....sick, hurt, sad, happy or whatever, you still have to be responsible for your actions.

[AAA713]

MY kids have pulled this on me "I'm too tired to" clean up, or " my tummy hurts" so I don't have to go to the bed yet, eat lunch etc.

So my rule is, if you are sick/too tired/hurt, no toys, you stay in your bed. They feel better quickly!!!!

I do this to!! Have a dkg4 that pulled this on me a couple of weeks ago, I put her on her nap mat and told her to tell me when she felt better. Yep! In seconds she was totally healed!! :: I still had her lay there 15 min. longer just to make sure.

[WImom]

I agree, make him lay down and leave some of the mess for him to clean up.

[Unregistered]

Too...

The "I'm too sick" and "I'm too tired" bit doesn't work with me at all. It's funny...kids can be playing and having a good old time, but then when clean up time is mentioned, all of a sudden, the kid is too tired to help pick up or too sick to help pick up. My response is always "I understand that you're tired, but you still have to help pick up the toys since you helped take them out". Any further arguing results in the kid not getting to play with the toys for a while. The same goes with eating. On days where we have a special holiday snack, if a child won't eat their lunch, then they can't have the special treat. Otherwise, there would be a lot of "I'm too full" responses that would magically be gone when it was time to eat the holiday snack.

[happykidschildcare]

clean up

we do a clean up song...makes it more fun
Clean up,clean up... everyone do their share
repeat....
I give the kids sections to clean, when they have a specific area/toys they do much better and arent so overwhelmed by the big picture.
If they can't help do their share and make up excuses I put them in time out, they will learn real quick to get with the program!

[Abigail]

One of our songs in preschool was "This is the way we pick up the toys, pick up the toys, pick up the toys. This is the way we pick up the toys until they're put away" to the song of "The Wheels on the bus"

It's really easy to make up different songs and the kids in preschool really liked this. I agree with many PP about A. "If you're sick you need to lay down for the rest of the day" and B. Keep some toys out until he picks them up and he can't join the activity until he does so and C. teach him different words to use if he truly doesn't like an activity.

We have two kids who always need to use the bathroom during clean up time and when most of the toys are put away and the other children are waiting for lunch/eating lunch these two must finish picking up the room while the others get to eat. Sometimes they stand there for five minutes and try talking to us, but soon enough they're picking up and get the "Good Job, Thank you for helping. I really appreciate it. Are you ready for lunch?"

[i don't put up with this!]

brat syndrome

So here it is. The child is being a brat. You dont have to put up with that. I'm sure you have other kids there you have to tend to. If this is impeding normal daycare function, then this child will just have to stay home until he can participate like everyone. And if he parents can't cope or fix this problem, then its time to make out a termination letter! Some daycare providers put up with a lot of unecessary BS!

[daycare]

Too tired, too sick , to this or that you go to bed. Sorry, but kids who don't listed don't get to have any fun.

I have a DCK like this to the T....OMG it's nuts. I live right by the fire station and I tell them oh it sounds like an emergency guess Ill have to call the ambulance to come take you away.

LOL Typing it, it sounds mean, never saw it as mean, was just responding with something silly, because they are stating something silly.

I am lucky that my DCP is on board with me and will not buy into it at all.

[Kim]

I have one that started something similar. He's 4 and constantly tells me he's tired and it always happens to be when I say it's time to clean up. I get the cot out and telling him to lay down. The rest of the kids clean up but leave some for him. Then we move on to another activity and he isn't allowed to join until he cleans up his part.
Today we were cleaning up to go outside. He still insisted on being too tired to clean up and refused to clean up the few toys that the other kids left as his share. His face lit up and he thought he won when I told him to get his shoes on. When we got outside I had him sit in a chair because he was tired. Of course he tells me he's not tired anymore. So sad too bad. You were too tired to help your friends clean up then you're too tired to play outside. I felt super mean today making him miss outside time but it worked. As soon as we got back inside he rushed to clean up because I threatened to have him sit for our afternoon outside time too if not. He's a tough kid to break but eventually he'll get it...I hope.

[JenNJ]

I cannot force them to clean up. But I can STOP them from doing anything else.

Me: "Ok, everyone, let's clean up so we can go bake/outside/do a craft/etc."
Kid: "My head hurts. I can't clean up."
Me: "Ok Kid. Get a nap mat and go lay on the sideline there."

Other kids and I clean up. We move onto next activity. "Kid" CANNOT participate. He will come outside and sit at the table. He can watch everyone bake and watch them eat the muffins they worked on. He can lay there while we do a craft and explain to mom/dad why he doesn't have one at the end of the day.

The day STOPS for that child the moment they STOP participating in their day. I want people who are active in their lives, not lazy lumps. If it is close to pickup time, the STOP continues into the following morning.

In order to continue with the day, the child needs to decide to help the group. He could wipe the table after snack, put away the books after story time, set the table for lunch, or offer to clean up. I will direct the child to do these things and remind him that he won't do anything until he has helped the group.

[MyAngels]

Gotta love it when these older threads get pulled back up again.

So, Blackcat, how did you end up working this out?