Rough Housing....

[MissAnn]

I have never had such a rough housing bunch a boys as I do now! I don't let it get out of control....I nip it in the bud! As soon as one tries to wrestle another, I sit him down on his rug just for a few minutes. Not like he's in big trouble....but just as a small consequence to help him remember next time.

I'd like more ideas. Oh...and all my kids are 3-5 years old....so it's not like they are little ones. They are quite capable of understanding. And....we have PLENTY of outdoor active time and indoor dancing.

[countrymom]

I have a 2 yr old that would do this, and I came to find out that not only was he doing it at home but his dad was letting him watch kick boxing matches. It took a while, but everytime he did this I sent him in the corner.

[Little People]

Could you give them some either seperate floor or table time apart several time during the day. Put one on the floor with blocks and another at a table with different blocks?

I do the 20/20 with my children. I let them play together 20 minutes and then we all sit down and either do blocks, puzzles and so on. Sometimes we do the blocks as a group and sometimes I sit them all in different areas and each one has something to do on their own.

I don't have any children at the moment that ruff house. But this is what I would do. And if they do not keep their hands to themselves you could for a few day KEEP them apart and keep reminding them why they are kept apart.

[Unregistered]

I allow a little bit

Am I the only one who lets the children get rough and tumble? I do allow a little bit of rough housing - especially during the winter when we can't get outside as often or for longer periods of time. I don't let them do it when I am not directly supervising and if someone is getting too rough, I give them one warning and after that they have to choose another activity. Not all of the kids like to play this way but I let the ones who are over 3 do it. I see it as a natural part of play - especially for boys. It's a bit risky but so is playing on the playground. Every type of play comes with some risk I've been lucky to have never had anything more than one scratched face. More often, someone just gets kicked or jumped on in a way they didn't like and says "so and so kicked me". I think their feelings are hurt more than anything else because whenever I ask if they'd rather play something else so they won't get hurt again the answer is ALWAYS no. Then they go back to playing like nothing ever happened. At the interview I tell all the parents of preschool boys that I do allow a little bit of rough housing but I never let it get out of hand. My current parents have all been fine with it. They all have that "boys will be boys" attitude. If I've blown an interview by saying that I allow rough-housing then they probably weren't a good fit for this group

[DBug]

The thing I've learned with boys is that quite often they'll go to the rough-housing, when they're actually just looking for a cuddle or a hug. And of course as they get older, boys are alot less likely to get the cuddling they need from parents/caregivers because they're boys. Many times the only time they can get the physical contact they crave, is by wrestling with other boys.

When they start the wrestling, what about sitting down with them for a second and do some group hugs or sit one or two in your lap to read a story? Around here we do animal hugs -- the boys ask for a "tiger hug" or a "piggy hug" and I give them a nice firm hug along with making the animal sound. Interestingly, the girls never ask for animal hugs, it's just the boys .

I reserve our family favourite, the "squishy sandwich" for my own boys, but it might work with your dc boys. Sandwich one kid between you and another kid and bear hug both at the same time, preferably as hard as you can ::. The boys eat it up!

[Luna]

Am I the only one who lets the children get rough and tumble?

I also allow rough and tumble play. We have plenty of rules for it...only over 3yo, soft hands, stop immediately when someone says stop or says they don't like it etc., stop as soon as someone acts angry.

My home visitor was here one day when I was trying to stop the boys, and she sent me some information on it, letting me know it was entirely my decision what to allow in my home.

I decided to allow it, with rules and supervision, and I have to say I'm very impressed with how the kids have conducted themselves. I can't remember the last time I had to break up any rough & tumble play.

[MissAnn]

thanks for all the advice! They did much better today. The hug thing won't work here because one of the boys is a total non hugger! Won't even hug his mom goodbye. I know everyone has different thoughts on the rough housing....but mine is that indoors spaces should be treated with respect. I did not allow my kids to run in the house and since my preschool kids are all 3-5 years old....I don't allow them either. Some come from homes where they wrestle indoors with dad.....and that's fine....for THEIR house....but not at school. The only time it gets hard is when I get new kids....and I have 2 new brothers who run....jump on my couch....wrestle....shoot guns.....you name it. So, I'm just trying to get them to come down a bit. I have a possible new boy starting and his dad is a wrestling couch......wonder how that will go?

[jojosmommy]

I do not let my kids wrestle or rough play however my own son hasn't gotten that message yet. :: He will wrestle down another little one (his cousin) any time of the day. When I separate them they both get mad they can't rough house together.

I agree with the rule no rough housing at daycare because my house is too small and my kids are too immature yet to understand when its ok and when its not. I prefer the respect this house and everyone in it rule.