Would You Say Anything to This Family?

[Blackcat31]

I would prefer to know if someone is bad mouthing myself and/or my business - especially when it is someone I provide a much needed service for.

I can understand wanting to know if someone is badmouthing you/your business but they aren't doing that. :confused: They're venting about how they are having trouble following your policies. That's not bad mouthing you or your business.

Things she told me other dcm:
"did you get the memo that you can't drop off until 8:15 on T and TH?"
"she makes it so hard for (dcm) to work."
"she's going to be forced to find another daycare"
"daycare is so expensive for her" (she pays $75/week for 3 days)
"now dcd can only drop him off on wednesdays since she can't drop off until later on T and Th. That makes it so hard for dcm."

All of those things are super common vents that parents say/share with others. I'd say it's probably normal conversation (in regards to daycare) that all parents participate in during their work days.

I also do not discuss it with dcm - never said I did. Just because I listen, does not mean I respond to her.
Thank you for your input, though!

Listening IS participating. Even if you don't reply, listening still makes you part of the conversation.

I'm not trying to give you a hard time, I'm simply providing you with a different perspective.

Changing the way you see things can help make a difference in how you manage/handle things.

Hoping you are able to address this situation and find a good solution for your nephews sake. I'm sure he loves all of the adults in his life. :hug:

[Unregistered]

Be careful that you are not expecting special of them as well. Are they the only clients not permitted to drop off after 8:15?

Nope, one other family. They aren't here until about 8:30 anyhow, though.
I did just think of a solution...
maybe if dcd (my BIL) drops off dcb, he could take our son to preschool. It would be the right timing.
Hmm..not a bad idea! I would give them a little cash each month to do it, too.

[Ariana]

I agree with some of the other thoughts mentioned. Knowing this info creates animosity. If this mom hasn’t told you this you would have no idea and carried on as usual so the information is not serving you. It ****s, absolutely but in the long run they are following your policies, paying for services and haven’t terminated.

It’s also possible that she might not have said things the way you think, we often jump to negative conclusions. Daycare IS expensive but that has nothing to do with you. I feel like worrying about this is just causing undue stress and creating animosity.

:hug:

[NeedaVaca]

Nope, one other family. They aren't here until about 8:30 anyhow, though.
I did just think of a solution...
maybe if dcd (my BIL) drops off dcb, he could take our son to preschool. It would be the right timing.
Hmm..not a bad idea! I would give them a little cash each month to do it, too.

This could be a solution or it could make the waters even murkier...They may feel this will be doing YOU a favor, regardless of you paying them. It could backfire just as easily IMO Personally I would keep the schedule as it is, I wouldn't want to pay money to one of my daycare families or have them take on a responsibility of mine, I just see trouble...

[Jiminycrickets]

Yeah, I would keep the schedule as is too.
Similar to your situation, my 3 year old is in preschool 2 days a week, and if I have will have too many kids to bring along, I ask a parent who I know has a flexible schedule to drop off a few minutes later (and, yes, in turn I am a little more flexible with her schedule.) It works just fine.
I would not ask BIL to take your son to school, that is just asking for stress over whether he will be on time, and possibly even passive-aggressive games if they are the sort. The money would just be confusing and another point of contention, and additionally you would be out money for a situation that is easily solved by her bringing her kids 10 minutes later a few times a week. Nope, nope, nope.
If DCM isn't happy with the drop-off times you can offer, she can find other care. Sometimes you have to make your own life work, too.

[Unregistered]

Yeah, I would keep the schedule as is too.
Similar to your situation, my 3 year old is in preschool 2 days a week, and if I have will have too many kids to bring along, I ask a parent who I know has a flexible schedule to drop off a few minutes later (and, yes, in turn I am a little more flexible with her schedule.) It works just fine.
I would not ask BIL to take your son to school, that is just asking for stress over whether he will be on time, and possibly even passive-aggressive games if they are the sort. The money would just be confusing and another point of contention, and additionally you would be out money for a situation that is easily solved by her bringing her kids 10 minutes later a few times a week. Nope, nope, nope.
If DCM isn't happy with the drop-off times you can offer, she can find other care. Sometimes you have to make your own life work, too.

Yeah, you're right. It could definitely just cause more problems. I try to explain that I also have a family, I already miss out on so much with our 9 year old as far as school functions go. It's so difficult to please everybody.
And that thought crossed my mind several times, why not find care elsewhere if you're unhappy instead of complaining about everything? Oh well, at least she's decent when she's at daycare.

[Rainbow]

Do you think your inlaws are actually really upset about these things or do you think they may have mentioned it to their mother in passing and she is just overly upset on their behalf?

[Unregistered]

Do you think your inlaws are actually really upset about these things or do you think they may have mentioned it to their mother in passing and she is just overly upset on their behalf?

You know, I'm not sure. I know SIL was upset, we went through a couple weeks where she wouldn't even acknowledge I existed when dropping off dcb. Wouldn't speak to me or look at me. Then all of a sudden, she started talking to me a little bit. Her and her mom are close, so I'm sure she vented to her mom and then her mom is upset about it, as well.
It's just frustrating that SIL's mom is complaining about me/my daycare to a mom whose child I care for. I only asked them to drop off later because her schedule is very flexible - it's only like 10 minutes later than she usually drops off - but it seems to be a big problem. I can't control what is said I guess. :/