Hate My Job

[amberrose3dg]

My husband keeps telling me I would be happier in a Centre, get out of the house and have coworkers. I laugh every time!!! Been there, done that, not going back. I have also heard working with millenials will put you in an early grave

I ruled out a center for that very reason. I have a hard time employing one assistant! I couldn't imagine trying to staff a center. I would die of an early heart attack or stroke.
I decided that I am just going to interview on the regular basis be more picky about anymore families and replace the ones that I have issues with constantly until I decide to close for good. I think that is what is keeping my sanity.
Just remember some days are hard but you can also cut out any real headaches.

[ZB4]

It’s nice that you are actually being honest. I think that a lot of daycare providers lie and say they love their job. If you are doing this for extra cash and it’s for a short period and you know it will end then it’s acceptable. If you are a person who actually relies on the income to pay bills then it’s the worst job ever. It’s bending over backwards to please annoying Parents and keep kids. It’s being tired and sick but not able to take a day off because stupid parents complain. Im sick of being fake and putting on a happy face. I’m so glad my husband is doing well now so that I can quit soon. I can’t wait for that day. I’ll never look back.

This is so true. ^^ 30 years of trying to please everyone. Always worried that licensing will find something not exactly right. Subjecting my own kids to behaviors that I would never accept from them. Missing out on school field trips and volunteer opportunities because you are committed to being there for parents who don't appreciate you, and who think nothing of leaving you high and dry if it suits them. I'm jealous that you get to stop soon !

[daycarediva]

This is an odd profession.
People automatically assume you must love kids and all thing kids if you are a provider.

I started my business to address a personal need but I stayed in the business because I found Im I’m good at it/it comes naturally and it nets me a really good income.

Neither of which has anything to do with loving/not loving kids.

Kids are just tiny people. Some people I like, some I don't. I do this for money. The same reason the vast majority of people go to work.

I have felt similarly, myself, but I am not an in-home provider...I am the business manager at a center. I can tell you: its not all butterflies and roses working in a center either. Not only do you have the kid issues (I was hit in the face, punched in the stomach and told to "Go AWAY!" when trying to remove a 4yr old from a situation where she was throwing rocks at her teacher) but you also have the staff who are acting like children with their gossiping, backbiting, and flat out lying about each other and you have the parents who don't think anything we're doing is right.

Ugh.

But then there are the days that a child has a breakthrough and hugs you so tight around the neck and you see them making progress and it almost all seems worth it.

I will NEVER go back to a center. I don't even like taking kids from centers.


The parents drive me bonkers. I just plaster a fake smile and go on about my business.

99% of the kids I really enjoy, only it's easy for me to see the parent created issues.

[Unregistered]

This is so true. ^^ 30 years of trying to please everyone. Always worried that licensing will find something not exactly right. Subjecting my own kids to behaviors that I would never accept from them. Missing out on school field trips and volunteer opportunities because you are committed to being there for parents who don't appreciate you, and who think nothing of leaving you high and dry if it suits them. I'm jealous that you get to stop soon !

I feel your pain. I pray for you that something changes and you are able to quit. Please think about looking for something else. Start doing your resume. Maybe apply to be a teachers assistant in the schools. Good luck❤️

[Unregistered]

I wonder if most daycare providers are married or are they single moms trying to make ends meet? I can’t understand how a man can sit back and watch his wife suffer in this job year after year. I only did it for 3 years until my husband was able to make a good enough salary so that I could quit. He worked his behind off to make that happen as it was hard for him to see me stressed all the time. It wears down the family and our own kids suffer. I can’t imagine doing this job for more that 2-4 years without starting to hate life. Any man with any decency and pride would not let their wife continue. My friend has gone beyond the 5 year mark and she can’t quit because of her husband. She is pretty much the bread winner but in the process she has suffered. She has no life. They live paycheck to paycheck and she’s constantly worried about losing kids so she bends over backwards to please the parents who walk all over her. Time for a new man. 🤣

[Blackcat31]

I wonder if most daycare providers are married or are they single moms trying to make ends meet? I can’t understand how a man can sit back and watch his wife suffer in this job year after year. I only did it for 3 years until my husband was able to make a good enough salary so that I could quit. He worked his behind off to make that happen as it was hard for him to see me stressed all the time. It wears down the family and our own kids suffer. I can’t imagine doing this job for more that 2-4 years without starting to hate life. Any man with any decency and pride would not let their wife continue. My friend has gone beyond the 5 year mark and she can’t quit because of her husband. She is pretty much the bread winner but in the process she has suffered. She has no life. They live paycheck to paycheck and she’s constantly worried about losing kids so she bends over backwards to please the parents who walk all over her. Time for a new man. ��

Really :confused:

I am a wife but I’m still my own person

Sounds like your friend needs to recognize that she too is her own person but if she views her DH as the only decision maker in the family her issue isn’t her profession (daycare) at all.

[Josiegirl]

Really :confused:

I am a wife but I’m still my own person

Sounds like your friend needs to recognize that she too is her own person but if she views her DH as the only decision maker in the family her issue isn’t her profession (daycare) at all.

Yes. And no. I started doing this job when our oldest was 18 mo, we needed the money and we had both decided 1 of us needed to be home with our own children. Since he had the job with benefits and better pay, I gladly stayed home and dc kinda fell into my lap. I remember being so stressed out, I couldn't function and would cry every night. I just wanted to quit and be a ft mom. He said sure, he'd just take on another job and never get to see our ds. So I stuck with it, felt trapped, did search out other work at home ideas but they were nothing that paid any bills. Idealistically, sure we all have choices but in reality it doesn't always work that way.
There were lots of reasons our marriage crumbled but some of it did revolve(whether directly or indirectly) around having a dc in our home. He'd come home from work(worked 37.5 hours a week) and plop down in front of the tube asking what's for dinner while I finished up my work(50 hours a week), then started on the night time routine. Childcare was all my job, other people's kids and ours too. It led to bitterness and resentment. And he had the nerve to call me the ice queen.

Yeh. I had choices. But I stuck with it because I wanted to be home with our own children. So I started this job married. I'm still 'married' but we've lived apart for over 10 years and it's been the best part of childcare.

Course there are still some days when I tear my hair out, deflate like a balloon when the dcks go home, want to shake sense into certain parents. I've dealt with some of the stress by backing out of the Stars program, cut down on other dc activities such as network meetings. Getting too old for this.

[amberrose3dg]

Yes. And no. I started doing this job when our oldest was 18 mo, we needed the money and we had both decided 1 of us needed to be home with our own children. Since he had the job with benefits and better pay, I gladly stayed home and dc kinda fell into my lap. I remember being so stressed out, I couldn't function and would cry every night. I just wanted to quit and be a ft mom. He said sure, he'd just take on another job and never get to see our ds. So I stuck with it, felt trapped, did search out other work at home ideas but they were nothing that paid any bills. Idealistically, sure we all have choices but in reality it doesn't always work that way.
There were lots of reasons our marriage crumbled but some of it did revolve(whether directly or indirectly) around having a dc in our home. He'd come home from work(worked 37.5 hours a week) and plop down in front of the tube asking what's for dinner while I finished up my work(50 hours a week), then started on the night time routine. Childcare was all my job, other people's kids and ours too. It led to bitterness and resentment. And he had the nerve to call me the ice queen.

Yeh. I had choices. But I stuck with it because I wanted to be home with our own children. So I started this job married. I'm still 'married' but we've lived apart for over 10 years and it's been the best part of childcare.

Course there are still some days when I tear my hair out, deflate like a balloon when the dcks go home, want to shake sense into certain parents. I've dealt with some of the stress by backing out of the Stars program, cut down on other dc activities such as network meetings. Getting too old for this.

I'm getting too old for this and I'm 36! I am tired of parents that are gonna tell me when and how much they will pay me. I am just tired. Someone brought fleas into my home. I have like zero connection with any of my new kids.

[Annalee]

I reached the point of "hating my job" about 19 years ago; this is my 26th year. My dad was alive at that time and he was a business minded person so we sat down and set up a plan. At the time, I loved the kids in my care but working 6-5:30 with little time off and no pay for the time off caused me issues. So over the next three years, we slowly took out the clients vacations, added in my vacations, began charging 52 weeks a year, then took the school holidays/time off excluding summer, changed our work hours to 6-4:30 with a 9.5 hour limit per client not to exceed 4:30, etc. This has not diminished the "bad feelings" completely but it does help. I am off now one/two days a month along with extra days around holidays and my vacation weeks. Finding a qualified sub can be difficult and I am one of those people that has never left a sub here without me (I work with my mom and have used my nieces as helpers but never left them alone). Now I can plan my doctors, dentists, or just plan time according to my days off. Sure, there are clients that do not enroll here, but I only want those that will comply with my contract anyway. I will always be grateful to my dad whom is passed away now but he taught me the "non-negotiable" rule and how to be confident with that rule. If I was going to implement such rules, then I had to be willing to enforce them. Maybe a contact overhaul will help you all. I do have "those" clients with "those" kids now and it makes me nuts, but looking forward to the days off does help a little.

[Annalee]

I reached the point of "hating my job" about 19 years ago; this is my 26th year. My dad was alive at that time and he was a business minded person so we sat down and set up a plan. At the time, I loved the kids in my care but working 6-5:30 with little time off and no pay for the time off caused me issues. So over the next three years, we slowly took out the clients vacations, added in my vacations, began charging 52 weeks a year, then took the school holidays/time off excluding summer, changed our work hours to 6-4:30 with a 9.5 hour limit per client not to exceed 4:30, etc. This has not diminished the "bad feelings" completely but it does help. I am off now one/two days a month along with extra days around holidays and my vacation weeks. Finding a qualified sub can be difficult and I am one of those people that has never left a sub here without me (I work with my mom and have used my nieces as helpers but never left them alone). Now I can plan my doctors, dentists, or just plan time according to my days off. Sure, there are clients that do not enroll here, but I only want those that will comply with my contract anyway. I will always be grateful to my dad whom is passed away now but he taught me the "non-negotiable" rule and how to be confident with that rule. If I was going to implement such rules, then I had to be willing to enforce them. Maybe a contact overhaul will help you all. I do have "those" clients with "those" kids now and it makes me nuts, but looking forward to the days off does help a little.

One more thing that has helped is being "selective" and having the courage to "terminate" if necessary. When I was preparing for NAFCC accreditation, my mentor was helping me and I told her about a child I had that wasn't happy here making us all unhappy...she told me I could terminate her, which stunned me because I didn't even know I could do that. Then she taught me the 3-step interview process which does help alleviate some of "those kids and parents". Just sharing!

[Unregistered]

What’s the 3 step interview process?

[Annalee]

What’s the 3 step interview process?

I meet with the parents going through everything, last close to two hours. The parents go home to think about it. I decide whether or not to call them for second interview with the child. They can contact me to tell me they are interested but I give them a few days to be sure because I don't like speedy enrollees. If that one goes well, I decide whether or not we will meet once again to complete paperwork.

[Blackcat31]

Yes. And no. I started doing this job when our oldest was 18 mo, we needed the money and we had both decided 1 of us needed to be home with our own children. Since he had the job with benefits and better pay, I gladly stayed home and dc kinda fell into my lap. I remember being so stressed out, I couldn't function and would cry every night. I just wanted to quit and be a ft mom. He said sure, he'd just take on another job and never get to see our ds. So I stuck with it, felt trapped, did search out other work at home ideas but they were nothing that paid any bills. Idealistically, sure we all have choices but in reality it doesn't always work that way.
There were lots of reasons our marriage crumbled but some of it did revolve(whether directly or indirectly) around having a dc in our home. He'd come home from work(worked 37.5 hours a week) and plop down in front of the tube asking what's for dinner while I finished up my work(50 hours a week), then started on the night time routine. Childcare was all my job, other people's kids and ours too. It led to bitterness and resentment. And he had the nerve to call me the ice queen.

Yeh. I had choices. But I stuck with it because I wanted to be home with our own children. So I started this job married. I'm still 'married' but we've lived apart for over 10 years and it's been the best part of childcare.

Course there are still some days when I tear my hair out, deflate like a balloon when the dcks go home, want to shake sense into certain parents. I've dealt with some of the stress by backing out of the Stars program, cut down on other dc activities such as network meetings. Getting too old for this.

:hug: first, I am NOT discrediting how you felt or how things played out in your marriage.
Lord knows marriage isn't easy as it is and adding daycare to it WITH young children of your own IS a difficult road to navigate.

But the bolded statement above is simply something I've refused to believe my entire life.... which might be why I am "different" than many here.

I refuse to believe that I don't have a choice in anything.

I have a choice in everything I do every day. Whether it be job related, parent related or marriage related. I have a choice in everything I do. Are those choices easy? No, sometimes they aren't. Sometimes they might uproot and change an entire life but I have never ever felt I didn't have a right to choose to make things better if I wasn't completely happy with my current situation.

I think human nature makes it easier for us (in general) to make and accept excuses as to why we can't or can do X or Y but making a hard choice doesn't always come so easily which is why people resign themselves to believing they had no choice at all.

I reached the point of "hating my job" about 19 years ago; this is my 26th year. My dad was alive at that time and he was a business minded person so we sat down and set up a plan. At the time, I loved the kids in my care but working 6-5:30 with little time off and no pay for the time off caused me issues. So over the next three years, we slowly took out the clients vacations, added in my vacations, began charging 52 weeks a year, then took the school holidays/time off excluding summer, changed our work hours to 6-4:30 with a 9.5 hour limit per client not to exceed 4:30, etc. This has not diminished the "bad feelings" completely but it does help. I am off now one/two days a month along with extra days around holidays and my vacation weeks. Finding a qualified sub can be difficult and I am one of those people that has never left a sub here without me (I work with my mom and have used my nieces as helpers but never left them alone). Now I can plan my doctors, dentists, or just plan time according to my days off. Sure, there are clients that do not enroll here, but I only want those that will comply with my contract anyway. I will always be grateful to my dad whom is passed away now but he taught me the "non-negotiable" rule and how to be confident with that rule. If I was going to implement such rules, then I had to be willing to enforce them. Maybe a contact overhaul will help you all. I do have "those" clients with "those" kids now and it makes me nuts, but looking forward to the days off does help a little.

One more thing that has helped is being "selective" and having the courage to "terminate" if necessary. When I was preparing for NAFCC accreditation, my mentor was helping me and I told her about a child I had that wasn't happy here making us all unhappy...she told me I could terminate her, which stunned me because I didn't even know I could do that. Then she taught me the 3-step interview process which does help alleviate some of "those kids and parents". Just sharing!

This ^^^ is a perfect example of how one chooses to make this job easier/better.

I too am strict with the "type" of client I enroll.
I decide each day/week/month/year to run my child care in a way that makes me like my job. If that pendulum starts to swing in the "don't like my job" direction I step back and take a look at what is making me unhappy....and then I do something to change that.

It's what has kept me happily in this business for over 25 years now.
I wear the same smile on my face each morning as I did the very first year.

[Gemma]

:hug: first, I am NOT discrediting how you felt or how things played out in your marriage.
Lord knows marriage isn't easy as it is and adding daycare to it WITH young children of your own IS a difficult road to navigate.

But the bolded statement above is simply something I've refused to believe my entire life.... which might be why I am "different" than many here.

I refuse to believe that I don't have a choice in anything.

I have a choice in everything I do every day. Whether it be job related, parent related or marriage related. I have a choice in everything I do. Are those choices easy? No, sometimes they aren't. Sometimes they might uproot and change an entire life but I have never ever felt I didn't have a right to choose to make things better if I wasn't completely happy with my current situation.

I think human nature makes it easier for us (in general) to make and accept excuses as to why we can't or can do X or Y but making a hard choice doesn't always come so easily which is why people resign themselves to believing they had no choice at all.





This ^^^ is a perfect example of how one chooses to make this job easier/better.

I too am strict with the "type" of client I enroll.
I decide each day/week/month/year to run my child care in a way that makes me like my job. If that pendulum starts to swing in the "don't like my job" direction I step back and take a look at what is making me unhappy....and then I do something to change that.

It's what has kept me happily in this business for over 25 years now.
I wear the same smile on my face each morning as I did the very first year.

This is exactly what I started doing years ago when I found myself feeling overwhelmed ...it truly works!

[Snowmom]

^ Me too.

It takes practice and can be hard to get into the mentality that it OK to let people go for the sole reason that YOU need them to go to better your environment.

When I initially changed to contracted hours instead of open-close or limiting their total hours a day, it changed my outlook immensely. I only interview people who need 7:30-4:30 because that's what I want. I don't care that I turn people away. I don't care that it may not work for the majority of the work force. It's what I need to stay fresh.

If you can recognize what will make you happy doing this job, it changes everything.

Well, except for dealing with licensing. That just ****s no matter what.