Need Some Advice Personal & Professional

[Gurdy]

Sorry for the situation with your Dad. Having been there about 11 years ago with my Dad, I can offer this advice.

My Dad had phyiscal things wrong, but had senial dementia for 2 years before he died. I had already dealt with losing my Dad, years before his body followed. We also had hospice for him. They WILL let you know when the end is very near. I remember them telling us he had about a week, then about 2-3 days and then we started down to the hours. They weren't off by much.

Hospice offers a booklet (just a few pages) on the end of life. I don't remember what it is called, but it really helped. It helped us to know what to expect, such as the refusal to eat and drink, not talking anymore, etc.

Your Mom is scared, she is realizing the finality of losing her life mate. You could have months, you could have days left. Just Ask the Hospice worker what their feeling is on that.

I would line up a backup, for short notice to replace you and spend your evenings with your parents. When Hospice tells you, you have days left, then get full time replacement for the time needed. JMHO.

Thank you for this... I did read the pamplet today and it really does help. He seems to be in the weeks to months left area of that pamplet.

I have not talked to the hospice workers myself, but they gave my mom detailed instructions concerning the morphine and medications that he may need soon.

My mom is so scared... I can not imagine what she is truly going through right now. They have been together since they were teenagers. She was the all american cheerleader and he was the drag racing bad boy (kinda like Danny & Sandy from Grease) She did get him to eat a little last night and I think that is giving her some hope that he may pull out of this.

I have decided to stay open for now and visit every evening. I have put all my dc families on notice that I may have to close without much warning and they were all very understanding. My mom is my back-up care provider for daycare so I can not call in my back up. But, all of my daycare families know her and love her, so I think that helps.

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts!