Picking Up Toys

[gumdrops]

My 3 and 4 year olds are terrible with picking up. When I catch one picking up I will point out "Great Job K! I'm so proud of you for following directions and picking up toys!" I then get the other two "I'm picking up...am I doing good...look at me picking up" etc. I hate that they want praise for picking up AFTER I praise someone else. I know this is normal for their age, but I am stubborn and don't like to praise someone when I don't feel they deserve it...wow! that sounds harsh!

What kind of response do you give when a child is begging for praise only because someone else got it? I will keep watching and if they continue to pick up, I will praise them, just not on the spot the second after someone else's praise causes them to beg for it. Right now I just "Uh huh" but I don't actually say anything. I have a 4 year old crying because I didn't tell him "good job" when he asked for it.

It's gonna be a long week!!!

[amberrose3dg]

My 3 and 4 year olds are terrible with picking up. When I catch one picking up I will point out "Great Job K! I'm so proud of you for following directions and picking up toys!" I then get the other two "I'm picking up...am I doing good...look at me picking up" etc. I hate that they want praise for picking up AFTER I praise someone else. I know this is normal for their age, but I am stubborn and don't like to praise someone when I don't feel they deserve it...wow! that sounds harsh!

What kind of response do you give when a child is begging for praise only because someone else got it? I will keep watching and if they continue to pick up, I will praise them, just not on the spot the second after someone else's praise causes them to beg for it. Right now I just "Uh huh" but I don't actually say anything. I have a 4 year old crying because I didn't tell him "good job" when he asked for it.

It's gonna be a long week!!!

Lol. I just tell them they pick the toys up when it is time or they don't play with that toy anymore. I guess I am meaner

[gumdrops]

Lol. I just tell them they pick the toys up when it is time or they don't play with that toy anymore. I guess I am meaner

Usually it's while I'm making lunch, so as soon as I turn my back everyone stops. Maybe I just need to have clean up time before I make lunch so I can "monitor" them and be meaner ::

[Ariana]

It is unfrotunate but I think the ones who are asking for praise are the ones who desperately need it! I usually just praise them and ask them if they are proud of themselves because that is all that matters

[Gemma]

Lol. I just tell them they pick the toys up when it is time or they don't play with that toy anymore. I guess I am meaner

That's what I do, and new kids all learn it very fast.

[daycarediva]

It is unfrotunate but I think the ones who are asking for praise are the ones who desperately need it! I usually just praise them and ask them if they are proud of themselves because that is all that matters

I find the opposite to be true, they have no instrinsic motivation as they are praised for breathing at home.

I have two like this. "You didn't say 'good boy' to me for sneezing in my elbow."

"No, but I did use nice manners and say 'bless you'."

GOOD BOY!? He's NOT A DOG!

[CalCare]

If you are open to whole new perspective on praise, the books by Alfie Kohn are great. I read "Punished by Rewards" years ago and it does create a shift, if you are into it. If not, that's okay! I have said it on here in the past, I don't praise at all really. I do express my genuine thoughts when something really is "so great", But to motivate non-cleaner-uppers, no. Also, Teacher Tom had a great blog entry about non-cleaner-uppers it was called something about the children's sense of Justice.

[CalCare]

http://teachertomsblog.blogspot.com/2018/01/my-adult-sense-of-justice.html?m=1

[Blackcat31]

If you are open to whole new perspective on praise, the books by Alfie Kohn are great. I read "Punished by Rewards" years ago and it does create a shift, if you are into it. If not, that's okay! I have said it on here in the past, I don't praise at all really. I do express my genuine thoughts when something really is "so great", But to motivate non-cleaner-uppers, no. Also, Teacher Tom had a great blog entry about non-cleaner-uppers it was called something about the children's sense of Justice.

I'm not an over praiser either and those kids that ask me to tell them "good job" etc rarely hear it from me in that sense anyways.

I definitely think kids are over praised now days and it creates a really complicated situation for the kids in the future.

I love that blog entry from Teacher Tom.

[Homebody]

I dont offer praise very often. I usually just say "thank you" for helping to clean up, sharing, sneezing in their arm, etc. Its just showing them that I appreciate whatever they are doing, and makes them want to be helpful.

[Jiminycrickets]

Sometimes if they need motivation I sing a clean-up song that mentions their names. Like, Frere Jacques but singing "I see Jimmy, I see Jimmy, Cleaning up, Cleaning up. Cleaning up the trains, Cleaning up the trains, All cleaned up, All cleaned up."
We usually sing the clean-up song anyway, so no extra effort for me, and I don't think I'm giving empty, easy praise, just saying what they're doing, but they love to hear their names as part of the song and will run to pick things up to see if they will be the next one sung about. (They know if they demand to be the next or to get praised, they won't be, around here.)