Parents - Are They Being Rude/Disrespectul Or Am I Overreacting?

[Unregistered]

can i just say that parents drive me nuts? i'm not usually this negative, and truly do love what i'm doing, but boy, parents **** sometimes =) the same family that a few weeks ago were on vaca the whole week ‘doing nothing” at home (their words) and yet still sent their kiddo 36 hrs anyway brought him again today even though they were both off...ok, whatever, I get paid whether he’s here or not, so what’s it matter, right? ...the thing that annoys me is that they say they are going to bring him around 10am and just for a few hours so they can run errands, but then instead show up at 12pm and say they'll be back by 5. oh, and that he hasn't eaten in awhile and skipped his am nap...yay for me! So now I’ve got a hungry baby who needs to eat yet the other kids are napping and I have to stay on the same level as them (the day care is in the lower level of my split foyer) is it just me or is that rude/disrespectful? i have it in the contract that the pay is for a max of 40 hrs a week before it goes to hourly, but haven't enforced it cuz it's not that big a deal to me, normally...i gave them the option of a slightly lesser rate ($10 less a week) when he first started as the dad has Fridays off each week, and they stated several times that the baby would stay home with him most Fridays. They declined this saying that they would still bring him for a few hours every now and then, so we agreed that this would balance out, as opposed to paying the hourly rate for the few weeks that he would be here more than 40. Well, he’s been here for almost 3 months now and there has only been 3 weeks in which he has been here less than 45 hours…

so my question is, am I overreacting, or am I being taken advantage of/disrespected? I only recently started my daycare and still have quite a few slots open, so am hesitant to “rock the boat” too much, and think their baby is pretty great. On the other hand, I do get calls for infants quite often. What do you more experienced providers think? Is this just part of the being a day care provider package, and do I need to just **** it up and do my job (happily) or so I have a point and should stand up for myself?

[ConcernedMotherof2]

It is up to you how you do your job and how you handle these parents. You have a verbal agreement with them, but they seem to be taking advantage of you. Instead of letting them make you crazy and letting the resentment build, you may be better off standing up for yourself. You love what you do, but that may change if it becomes too much of a hassle dealing with disrespectful parents.

My guess is, that even if you confront them with the contract, asking for more pay, more notice or less of the child , they are still not going to seek other care. If they do, then they just don't know how good they have it with you. You may want to tell them how much you love their baby and what a joy he is to have around, but the irratic nature of their pick ups and drop offs is making it difficult to maintain an orderly running of your business. In short, it's not fair to the other kids you have in care.

Best of luck to you.

[AmandasFCC]

My advice would be to tell them that they're taking advantage of your good nature and you are now forced to enforce your policy as written. you have a handbook for a reason, to set a precedent. If you let this slide, you'll feel like you have to let it slide for another family and then by the end of it all you might as well not have written a handbook at all.

[Unregistered]

can i just say that parents drive me nuts? i'm not usually this negative, and truly do love what i'm doing, but boy, parents **** sometimes =) the same family that a few weeks ago were on vaca the whole week ‘doing nothing” at home (their words) and yet still sent their kiddo 36 hrs anyway brought him again today even though they were both off...ok, whatever, I get paid whether he’s here or not, so what’s it matter, right? ...the thing that annoys me is that they say they are going to bring him around 10am and just for a few hours so they can run errands, but then instead show up at 12pm and say they'll be back by 5. oh, and that he hasn't eaten in awhile and skipped his am nap...yay for me! So now I’ve got a hungry baby who needs to eat yet the other kids are napping and I have to stay on the same level as them (the day care is in the lower level of my split foyer) is it just me or is that rude/disrespectful? i have it in the contract that the pay is for a max of 40 hrs a week before it goes to hourly, but haven't enforced it cuz it's not that big a deal to me, normally...i gave them the option of a slightly lesser rate ($10 less a week) when he first started as the dad has Fridays off each week, and they stated several times that the baby would stay home with him most Fridays. They declined this saying that they would still bring him for a few hours every now and then, so we agreed that this would balance out, as opposed to paying the hourly rate for the few weeks that he would be here more than 40. Well, he’s been here for almost 3 months now and there has only been 3 weeks in which he has been here less than 45 hours…

so my question is, am I overreacting, or am I being taken advantage of/disrespected? I only recently started my daycare and still have quite a few slots open, so am hesitant to “rock the boat” too much, and think their baby is pretty great. On the other hand, I do get calls for infants quite often. What do you more experienced providers think? Is this just part of the being a day care provider package, and do I need to just **** it up and do my job (happily) or so I have a point and should stand up for myself?

This is why I do not allow drop-in care during nap hours or immediately after snack/meal times (unless they have been fed). So, they must arrive either before or after nap. And they MUST be fed either snack or lunch according to our schedule. Period. If you do not have this as a policy, send out a letter and amend it. Have all families sign it.

[tymaboy]

When I had my problem family & they pulled the she didnt eat when they dropped her off I told them well she will need to wait till snack time to eat now since breakfast is done. So instead they started showing up with a bottle with cereal in it I would suggest revising your policy & putting in there some sort of clause for all the little things that will grow into big things. Before my problem family I had a basic simple contract & policy but the policy grew to 12 pages cuz I had to cover every little thing or they would take advantage of what was not in it. When you have more then a verbal agreement it makes it easier to enforce your rules. Then if they question you about it you can pull out the policy & show them it. I have the parents sign a contract plus sign a sheet saying they read my policy.

[Unregistered]

When I had my problem family & they pulled the she didnt eat when they dropped her off I told them well she will need to wait till snack time to eat now since breakfast is done. So instead they started showing up with a bottle with cereal in it I would suggest revising your policy & putting in there some sort of clause for all the little things that will grow into big things. Before my problem family I had a basic simple contract & policy but the policy grew to 12 pages cuz I had to cover every little thing or they would take advantage of what was not in it. When you have more then a verbal agreement it makes it easier to enforce your rules. Then if they question you about it you can pull out the policy & show them it. I have the parents sign a contract plus sign a sheet saying they read my policy.

Gurrlllll you are SO RIGHT! My contract is now 12 pages too!!! For that same reason, a problem family!

[Unregistered]

Problem family

Problem family. I have heard this reference too many times. think about it. Daycare is a relationship.....problem families are people too....treat them such. It will help you.

[PeanutsGalore]

can i just say that parents drive me nuts? i'm not usually this negative, and truly do love what i'm doing, but boy, parents **** sometimes =) the same family that a few weeks ago were on vaca the whole week ‘doing nothing” at home (their words) and yet still sent their kiddo 36 hrs anyway brought him again today even though they were both off...ok, whatever, I get paid whether he’s here or not, so what’s it matter, right? ...the thing that annoys me is that they say they are going to bring him around 10am and just for a few hours so they can run errands, but then instead show up at 12pm and say they'll be back by 5. oh, and that he hasn't eaten in awhile and skipped his am nap...yay for me! So now I’ve got a hungry baby who needs to eat yet the other kids are napping and I have to stay on the same level as them (the day care is in the lower level of my split foyer) is it just me or is that rude/disrespectful? i have it in the contract that the pay is for a max of 40 hrs a week before it goes to hourly, but haven't enforced it cuz it's not that big a deal to me, normally...i gave them the option of a slightly lesser rate ($10 less a week) when he first started as the dad has Fridays off each week, and they stated several times that the baby would stay home with him most Fridays. They declined this saying that they would still bring him for a few hours every now and then, so we agreed that this would balance out, as opposed to paying the hourly rate for the few weeks that he would be here more than 40. Well, he’s been here for almost 3 months now and there has only been 3 weeks in which he has been here less than 45 hours…

so my question is, am I overreacting, or am I being taken advantage of/disrespected? I only recently started my daycare and still have quite a few slots open, so am hesitant to “rock the boat” too much, and think their baby is pretty great. On the other hand, I do get calls for infants quite often. What do you more experienced providers think? Is this just part of the being a day care provider package, and do I need to just **** it up and do my job (happily) or so I have a point and should stand up for myself?

They're just taking advantage of the situation because you are letting them. If your contract is for 40 hours/week, you can't allow them to use 45 hours per week for no extra charge. Doing that for one week is an aberration that can be overlooked; doing it for 3 months is a pattern. I'd rewrite the contract immediately for 45 hours and let them know the rate is going up to match the time that's being used. If they don't sign it, don't take the kids back.

You already see the impact of kids who are dropped off and picked up at random hours. It disrupts the entire daycare. You'll have to enforce a strict drop off/ pickup time with them as well, and explain to them that it's for the good of their child as well. You can't have nap and mealtimes disrupted for everyone to make it convenient for one child's parents. Getting regular and adequate food and sleep is what makes kids grow. It's more important than a lot of parents seem to understand (and I have to admit, I was one of those parents at one time).

When you rewrite the contract, add in whatever new points you need to, and point out whatever rules they are breaking. Reiterate the consequences so they know what additional fees apply, or so that they understand you won't allow their kids to continue care if the rules are broken. And most important, enforce your own policies so people won't think it's ok to take advantage of them.

And look really, really hard for new clients! People so rarely change....

[nannyde]

can i just say that parents drive me nuts? i'm not usually this negative, and truly do love what i'm doing, but boy, parents **** sometimes =) the same family that a few weeks ago were on vaca the whole week ‘doing nothing” at home (their words) and yet still sent their kiddo 36 hrs anyway brought him again today even though they were both off...ok, whatever, I get paid whether he’s here or not, so what’s it matter, right? ...the thing that annoys me is that they say they are going to bring him around 10am and just for a few hours so they can run errands, but then instead show up at 12pm and say they'll be back by 5. oh, and that he hasn't eaten in awhile and skipped his am nap...yay for me! So now I’ve got a hungry baby who needs to eat yet the other kids are napping and I have to stay on the same level as them (the day care is in the lower level of my split foyer) is it just me or is that rude/disrespectful? i have it in the contract that the pay is for a max of 40 hrs a week before it goes to hourly, but haven't enforced it cuz it's not that big a deal to me, normally...i gave them the option of a slightly lesser rate ($10 less a week) when he first started as the dad has Fridays off each week, and they stated several times that the baby would stay home with him most Fridays. They declined this saying that they would still bring him for a few hours every now and then, so we agreed that this would balance out, as opposed to paying the hourly rate for the few weeks that he would be here more than 40. Well, he’s been here for almost 3 months now and there has only been 3 weeks in which he has been here less than 45 hours…

so my question is, am I overreacting, or am I being taken advantage of/disrespected? I only recently started my daycare and still have quite a few slots open, so am hesitant to “rock the boat” too much, and think their baby is pretty great. On the other hand, I do get calls for infants quite often. What do you more experienced providers think? Is this just part of the being a day care provider package, and do I need to just **** it up and do my job (happily) or so I have a point and should stand up for myself?

It's risky to get into doing a total number of hours per week and then giving them carte blance to your open hours to get those hours in. It doesn't take long before they just quit counting and start using your open hours as they please.

It also breeds arrival and departure time chaos as they will... on a day to day basis... figure out the best hours for themselves which will lead to kids being dropped off at noon unfed.

My first advice is to get them on a schedule for forty hours a week and stick to it. Do that with the Monday thru Thursday hours. Anything over forty will most likely be used on a Friday so that will put you into overtime. Charge an hourly rate for that.

I would just talk to them about the forty hours and let them know what you told us and let them know that you will let them know when they are at 35 for they can plan accordingly.

A few things in your post stood out:

You: they stated several times that the baby would stay home with him most Fridays.

Never do a gray agreement. Whenever you do "most" it will quickly turn into the worse case scenario. That's what you have to charge for. The MOST amount of time they CAN use your services.

So if a parent says "I will keep him home MOST of the time but I need you some of the time" it will turn into you having the child MOST of the time IF the money is the same either way. When they make a decision each time on whether or not to bring the child when they CAN for no additional charge... very often they realize it's always easier to take the child to care so they DO bring them when it is easier.

The other thing you said was "i have it in the contract that the pay is for a max of 40 hrs a week before it goes to hourly, but haven't enforced it cuz it's not that big a deal to me, normally.."

That's how you end up with a kid there an extra five hours for all but three weeks. The parents KNOW it's no big deal to you. You have to let them know it IS a big deal to you so they keep the hours within your agreement ALL of the time not MOST of the time. Your version of MOST and their version of MOST are most likely completely opposite ends of the spectrum. I would be my bottom dollar that if you asked them now how many weeks they have gone over forty hours they would say three when your version is that they have done that all BUT three.

I have an awesome family that I adore that pay until my closing hour every day. They only really need me until around 4:30 most days but they pay me until close every day. This way when they DO come early it's a bonus and a blessing to ME. I don't look at the late days as a negative because they pay for that slot every week. When I get off early I appreciate it.

After over four years of service it would be EASY to think that the job was most days until four thirty and a couple of days till close because that's what they have actually DONE for so many years. I don't look at it that way because I'm being paid for the highest number of hours possible every day. My job with them IS till close.

[Lucy]

This is an almost two year old post. Just pointing it out.

[momma2girls]

When I had my problem family & they pulled the she didnt eat when they dropped her off I told them well she will need to wait till snack time to eat now since breakfast is done. So instead they started showing up with a bottle with cereal in it I would suggest revising your policy & putting in there some sort of clause for all the little things that will grow into big things. Before my problem family I had a basic simple contract & policy but the policy grew to 12 pages cuz I had to cover every little thing or they would take advantage of what was not in it. When you have more then a verbal agreement it makes it easier to enforce your rules. Then if they question you about it you can pull out the policy & show them it. I have the parents sign a contract plus sign a sheet saying they read my policy.

How are you? How is working outside the home? DO you miss daycare? I am from Iowa, and I have talked to you several times on here as well. I hope things are going well for you!!