Crying Infant at Naptime

[Unregistered]

I have searched and read the other threads, and while they helped, I need more advice.

Here’s the deal:
I have 5 currently in my care (9 months, (2) 1 year olds and (2) 2 year olds). The 9 month old started care last week and he is a wreck! He has been with family up until now and mom and dad say he’s never been on a schedule (gee, thanks.) He is fed on demand and doesn’t nap (according to them.) I must have been in a state of insanity when I took him. I also think there are some special needs there. He is severely delayed (not sitting up without assistance, not crawling, won’t open his mouth for feeding etc.)

I can handle all the other things, but naptime has been HARD. I have him separated from the other kids during nap because he screams bloody murder for a good 30 minutes sometimes longer.

I am trying to sleep train him, so I’ll check on him every 10 minutes, out the bink back in his mouth and walk out. I don’t look at him, talk to
Him or touch him besides giving him his bink. I feel soooo bad leaving him crying, but idk what else to do.

Any advice on naptime? Am I doing the right thing?

[Ariana]

Check ins sometimes backfire with certain kids so I would stop doing them. If you are uncomfortable leaving him, get a monitor. He is crying because he cannotmout himself to sleep. Chances are he falls asleep in someones arms, in a car or some other crutch. He will cry as he is figuring it out. You are not being mean, his family is being mean because you have a child who feels unsafe in his bed.

Stick with it! It might take a while to get a non schedule kid onto a schedule but from experience it can be done. I wouldn’t be surprised if his delays disappear once he starts getting good sleep and on a good schedule.

[Unregistered]

I spoke WAY too soon. His nap this morning was rough (25 minutes of crying), but his afternoon nap is going MUCH better. I fed him after laying my other babies down. He was drowsy and had a full tummy when I laid him down. He cried for about 10-15 minutes and is OUT. I am so excited and feel super proud of myself (and him!). The only issue I foresee is that he is a part-timer (3 days a week back to back) and I think he will come back next week with the same bad habits. Mom and dad are wonderful and very loving, but they have no clue how much not setting a routine for him has "hurt" him.

If I can get nap under control, he will be the perfect baby. He will lay in the playroom on the rug for 1-2 hours happily playing and watching the other kids. He is NOT a fussy baby at all throughout the day and transitions well from mom and dad.

I'm just THRILLED right now! Thank you for the advice. I have another baby starting in a few weeks, so I'm sure I will have this issue again.

[coloradoprovider]

crying infant

I had the same issue with a 3 day a week infant - he had been at home for the first 5 months and didn't learn to fall asleep on his own. After 4 days away, the first day back was the worst. You are doing the right things, I didn't see that you have spoken with the parents about this issue. If not, they also need to begin to teach him how to fall asleep on his own. When the parents realize that he's miserable because he is having a hard time adjusting, hopefully they'll not hold him until he's asleep. At 9 months, he's too old to need constant holding to sleep. I have learned that during the first interview for an older child, to ask the parents how the child falls asleep. If the child has been taught to only sleep when in an adult's arms, the parents must begin to break that habit or their child will be miserable (along with everyone else at daycare!). If they can't understand that their precious child won't be held for hours on end, then they won't be a good fit here (and should probably consider a nanny).

[Josiegirl]

Check ins sometimes backfire with certain kids so I would stop doing them. If you are uncomfortable leaving him, get a monitor. He is crying because he cannotmout himself to sleep. Chances are he falls asleep in someones arms, in a car or some other crutch. He will cry as he is figuring it out. You are not being mean, his family is being mean because you have a child who feels unsafe in his bed.

Stick with it! It might take a while to get a non schedule kid onto a schedule but from experience it can be done. I wouldn’t be surprised if his delays disappear once he starts getting good sleep and on a good schedule.

Ariana and a couple others gave me this wonderful advice when my dcb was 9-10 mo because he wasn't sleeping at all during the day and being nursed at night to go back to sleep. I felt so bad and mean, thinking I shouldn't be letting this little guy cry through nap time. It took 5 weeks, and dcm said she was shushing him at night instead of running to nurse him, so between us, he worked it out and now, at 14 mo, goes down without a whimper. I was so close to letting him go but so glad I didn't. They are a golden family and he's the sweetest little boy ever.lovethis So even if your dcbaby comes back next week, having to start all over again, don't give up!!
Also, to mask his crying, I had him in a separate room(still do) and had music on for the others. Keep the conversation open with dcm and get them on the same page; it'll make everything that much easier. If he's not sleeping through the night at home, hopefully this will help them too and they'll be very grateful. I know my poor dcm was a walking wreck until dcb slept through. It's harder for the parents to be as firm as we can be.

[Ariana]

I spoke WAY too soon. His nap this morning was rough (25 minutes of crying), but his afternoon nap is going MUCH better. I fed him after laying my other babies down. He was drowsy and had a full tummy when I laid him down. He cried for about 10-15 minutes and is OUT. I am so excited and feel super proud of myself (and him!). The only issue I foresee is that he is a part-timer (3 days a week back to back) and I think he will come back next week with the same bad habits. Mom and dad are wonderful and very loving, but they have no clue how much not setting a routine for him has "hurt" him.

If I can get nap under control, he will be the perfect baby. He will lay in the playroom on the rug for 1-2 hours happily playing and watching the other kids. He is NOT a fussy baby at all throughout the day and transitions well from mom and dad.

I'm just THRILLED right now! Thank you for the advice. I have another baby starting in a few weeks, so I'm sure I will have this issue again.

Even at 3 days a week he will adjust and know that at your house sleep is expected. I used to only do part time kids and had kids that only slept at my house nowhere else! Lol.