Compassion Fatigue

[Cat Herder]

Compassion fatigue, also known as secondary traumatic stress, is a condition characterized by a gradual lessening of compassion over time. Scholars who study compassion fatigue note that the condition is common among workers who work directly with victims of disasters, trauma, or illness, especially in the health care industry. Professionals in other occupations are also at risk for experiencing compassion fatigue, e.g. attorneys, child advocates/protection workers, and veterinarians.

https://lib.dr.iastate.edu/etd/11373/ - Us

https://www.livesinthebalance.org/compassion-fatigue-0

http://www.ariel.ac.il/images/stories/site/personalSites/GadiZerach/CF_and_CS_among_RCWs.pdf

https://news.aamc.org/medical-education/article/compassion-fatigue-toll-being-care-provider/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/somatic-psychology/201207/compassion-fatigue

https://www.stress.org/military/for-practitionersleaders/compassion-fatigue/

[Annalee]

Compassion fatigue, also known as secondary traumatic stress, is a condition characterized by a gradual lessening of compassion over time. Scholars who study compassion fatigue note that the condition is common among workers who work directly with victims of disasters, trauma, or illness, especially in the health care industry. Professionals in other occupations are also at risk for experiencing compassion fatigue, e.g. attorneys, child advocates/protection workers, and veterinarians.

https://lib.dr.iastate.edu/etd/11373/ - Us

https://www.livesinthebalance.org/compassion-fatigue-0

http://www.ariel.ac.il/images/stories/site/personalSites/GadiZerach/CF_and_CS_among_RCWs.pdf

https://news.aamc.org/medical-education/article/compassion-fatigue-toll-being-care-provider/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/somatic-psychology/201207/compassion-fatigue

https://www.stress.org/military/for-...ssion-fatigue/

I see this happening in the world in general today.....even with myself sometimes. Persons become desensitized over time through experiences. Sad if you really think about it! But it is spiraling. I have always felt my church, biological, extended family were some of the most unconditionally loving people but have noticed lately compassion fatigue drifting in. Partially, I think, because FCC providers, in particular, are built on giving to the point you can't give anymore. Not sure this is exactly what you were referring to but it is what I thought of when you posted.

[Cat Herder]

I see this happening in the world in general today.....even with myself sometimes. Persons become desensitized over time through experiences. Sad if you really think about it! But it is spiraling. I have always felt my church, biological, extended family were some of the most unconditionally loving people but have noticed lately compassion fatigue drifting in. Partially, I think, because FCC providers, in particular, are built on giving to the point you can't give anymore. Not sure this is exactly what you were referring to but it is what I thought of when you posted.

It is. Numbness. Void. Empty.

I thought the end of summer would be the perfect time for this topic. I know most are worn to the bone right now. Me included. :hug:

[Annalee]

It is. Numbness. Void. Empty.

I thought the end of summer would be the perfect time for this topic. I know most are worn to the bone right now. Me included. :hug:

Yes, and I find myself setting my life up around ME and those I love now more than ever as I feel I have put too many other things/people before that in the past. I find myself less sympathetic to things, too, because so many like clients, in particular, live off of a life of falsehoods so I now don't trust anyone! Used to, clients came to my daycare because of ME, not anymore, just a few are genuine clients. There is just a few genuine people anywhere! How did we get here! I am struggling with my own brother that used to be so close with me. We built our houses on the homeplace but we barely talk now. What happened?

I guess you can tell this is a soapbox of mine!:: but it really makes me sad as I type it:confused:

[Blackcat31]

Yes, and I find myself setting my life up around ME and those I love now more than ever as I feel I have put too many other things/people before that in the past. I find myself less sympathetic to things, too, because so many like clients, in particular, live off of a life of falsehoods so I now don't trust anyone! Used to, clients came to my daycare because of ME, not anymore, just a few are genuine clients. There is just a few genuine people anywhere! How did we get here! I am struggling with my own brother that used to be so close with me. We built our houses on the homeplace but we barely talk now. What happened?

I guess you can tell this is a soapbox of mine!:: but it really makes me sad as I type it:confused:

I read this thread earlier and thought about it over the afternoon... I kept thinking jaded. I am jaded. But that isn't the full definition....the bolded above sums it up well.

People are so good at playing the victim now days that I can no longer decipher between truly needing or just wanting assistance, sympathy and/or empathy. kwim?

A couple years ago I had a food box (an entire holiday meal) made up that we were going to donate to a family in need. After a bit, my DH and I realized that we know alot of people in need but didn't really know anyone truly needy. A majority (not all) of them were in that position of being needy due to bad choices not true poverty.

I am continually astounded at how some people truly play the victim like a way of life. I have an ex-DCM with 4 kids. She sure likes to tell everyone how difficult it is to raise 4 kids on her own and how she will go without so her children can eat. She was constantly showing up early begging for her child to get breakfast because she just didn't have anything at home; sorry for the same clothes as yesterday too but she couldn't afford to go to the laundromat etc. But hey! If I happen to find her 8 yr old's iPhone could I text her and let her know...she's tired of having to keep track of her kids's phones and tablets all the time.

[Ariana]

glad they included us in this! One of the only regrets I have about being a DCP and having my kids at home is that they do not see me at my most compassionate when at work. I had an 18 month old cry today because she wanted to be held all afternoon. I had to let her cry for 15 minutes straight before she stopped. It is stressfuk to know your kids are watching you not respond.

[Annalee]

glad they included us in this! One of the only regrets I have about being a DCP and having my kids at home is that they do not see me at my most compassionate when at work. I had an 18 month old cry today because she wanted to be held all afternoon. I had to let her cry for 15 minutes straight before she stopped. It is stressfuk to know your kids are watching you not respond.

Yep, same for me sometimes from my own kids. But my own kids also think I am mean to them sometimes too. After all they are teenagers::

[Annalee]

I read this thread earlier and thought about it over the afternoon... I kept thinking jaded. I am jaded. But that isn't the full definition....the bolded above sums it up well.

People are so good at playing the victim now days that I can no longer decipher between truly needing or just wanting assistance, sympathy and/or empathy. kwim?

A couple years ago I had a food box (an entire holiday meal) made up that we were going to donate to a family in need. After a bit, my DH and I realized that we know alot of people in need but didn't really know anyone truly needy. A majority (not all) of them were in that position of being needy due to bad choices not true poverty.

I am continually astounded at how some people truly play the victim like a way of life. I have an ex-DCM with 4 kids. She sure likes to tell everyone how difficult it is to raise 4 kids on her own and how she will go without so her children can eat. She was constantly showing up early begging for her child to get breakfast because she just didn't have anything at home; sorry for the same clothes as yesterday too but she couldn't afford to go to the laundromat etc. But hey! If I happen to find her 8 yr old's iPhone could I text her and let her know...she's tired of having to keep track of her kids's phones and tablets all the time.

I understand and you are spot on.
Not that I like feeling like I do....I am just realistic with my views on this subject.

[Josiegirl]

I'm so glad you shared this. I've been feeling terribly guilty lately, feeling like I must hate kids or something. I don't tolerate all the things I used to as well, such as whining, general naughtiness, disrespect, and on and on. I felt I was becoming a hateful #it@h. My feelings border on numb as CH said. Going through the motions. Burned out. No joy right now.

I've been taking steps away from all the regs. and expectations from the state because I just cannot do it anymore. I find so much of it over the top, mind and time consuming.

I remember running into a former dcd and we talked a little bit; I asked him how his job was going and he isn't too much younger than me. He said 'I'm tired, just plain tired'. I feel the same way. Physically but mostly emotionally. Have run out of steam and most of it has been within the past year.:confused: I still care about these kids, keep them as safe as I possibly can, feed them, offer an environment filled with lots of activities and choices. But my mind/heart isn't in it anymore.

Compassion fatigue. Huh, who knew there was a real term. And many of us don't have colleagues to bounce ideas and feelings off each other. Mostly we're in it ourselves.

[Georgiads]

I read this thread earlier and thought about it over the afternoon... I kept thinking jaded. I am jaded. But that isn't the full definition....the bolded above sums it up well.

People are so good at playing the victim now days that I can no longer decipher between truly needing or just wanting assistance, sympathy and/or empathy. kwim?

A couple years ago I had a food box (an entire holiday meal) made up that we were going to donate to a family in need. After a bit, my DH and I realized that we know alot of people in need but didn't really know anyone truly needy. A majority (not all) of them were in that position of being needy due to bad choices not true poverty.

I am continually astounded at how some people truly play the victim like a way of life. I have an ex-DCM with 4 kids. She sure likes to tell everyone how difficult it is to raise 4 kids on her own and how she will go without so her children can eat. She was constantly showing up early begging for her child to get breakfast because she just didn't have anything at home; sorry for the same clothes as yesterday too but she couldn't afford to go to the laundromat etc. But hey! If I happen to find her 8 yr old's iPhone could I text her and let her know...she's tired of having to keep track of her kids's phones and tablets all the time.

It’s not just families in need who have this attitude!

My families are wealthy and some just seem to be unable/unwilling to do care work for their own kids. I’m guessing that today’s trends of delegating responsibilities and paying people to do mundane tasks now includes taking basic care of your kids.

I get that parents are “busy” but not bathing or dressing your kids in clothes is just not acceptable to me.

[amberrose3dg]

It’s not just families in need who have this attitude!

My families are wealthy and some just seem to be unable/unwilling to do care work for their own kids. I’m guessing that today’s trends of delegating responsibilities and paying people to do mundane tasks now includes taking basic care of your kids.

I get that parents are “busy” but not bathing or dressing your kids in clothes is just not acceptable to me.

Same I have seen my share of head scratchers. I am especially frustrated with the parents that show up with kids still in pjs and hand me clothes expecting me to dress them. Guess what they stay in the clothes they were brought in. Unless they have an accident or total mess while in care I am not changing their clothes! They get the message after 1 or 2 times. I get that people have to work and are busy. What I do no get is putting your kids to bed as early as possible and dropping them off the second you can. Then they still complain about not getting enough me time or quality time with their kids.

[daycarediva]

Wow, a term for my general malaise towards everyone.

I, too, was calling myself jaded.

I told dh last night "If I get one more single mom, poor poor me phone call. I bet her hair and nails are professionally done regularly while she cries the blues."

or the dcm who begged me to help start potty training her 18mo because she 'doesn't know how' even though this is her FOURTH kiddo. The live in nanny did the potty training on the previous kids. She had NO CLUE when a child SHOULD be pt'ed.

BLAH. I think the cure would be moving to alaska with just dh and living off the land. I can't people anymore. (apologies for my improper use of people)

[Annalee]

Wow, a term for my general malaise towards everyone.

I, too, was calling myself jaded.

I told dh last night "If I get one more single mom, poor poor me phone call. I bet her hair and nails are professionally done regularly while she cries the blues."

or the dcm who begged me to help start potty training her 18mo because she 'doesn't know how' even though this is her FOURTH kiddo. The live in nanny did the potty training on the previous kids. She had NO CLUE when a child SHOULD be pt'ed.

BLAH. I think the cure would be moving to alaska with just dh and living off the land. I can't people anymore. (apologies for my improper use of people)

::I could join the Amish that live around here....horse and buggy is all I would need as I live off the land.

[amberrose3dg]

::I could join the Amish that live around here....horse and buggy is all I would need as I live off the land.

Yes except I would want to be somewhere warm. An island with no people would be great.

[daycarediva]

::I could join the Amish that live around here....horse and buggy is all I would need as I live off the land.

YES! We have a huge Amish population and I love their lifestyle. We shop with them and they have even done work for us around our property.

Don't know if I could get the hang of Pennsylvania dutch though. ::