Stealing Child From Another Provider

[Lil_Diddle]

I’ve been moving towards having all teachers children the last few years, it’s absolutely great. School starts in a few weeks and I have a final spot I need to fill in order to maintain the budget I need. Anyways. I just got a message from a teacher that is looking for back up care. Her current daycare provider is taking off the first week of school, including numerous dates during the school year. I did respond that unfortunately I do not do back up care. The last few times I did it was chaos and messed up our routine and was not worth the extra money.

I really want to message her again and let her know that I do have a full time opening and would be a great fit. The daycare is fully functional in my walkout basement and I have an assistant as well as an alternative sub, it is a very rare occasion that I close during the school year. The kicker is I do know the other daycare provider. We are not friends, but we are friendly. We actually worked in daycare together almost 18 years ago. I would hate to go behind her back and even try to steal her student. However I also know she takes lots of time off. I really don’t know how she has so many kids because they do require lots of back up care. (I’ve actually done it for 2 if her daycare families in the past)

So on the fence, if I should even reply back to this DCM and let her know what a better fit I would be. I should mention that the DCM in question is someone I know as well. She was actually a school age child at the daycare where the other provider and myself worked. Small town living at its best

[lovemykidstoo]

I’ve been moving towards having all teachers children the last few years, it’s absolutely great. School starts in a few weeks and I have a final spot I need to fill in order to maintain the budget I need. Anyways. I just got a message from a teacher that is looking for back up care. Her current daycare provider is taking off the first week of school, including numerous dates during the school year. I did respond that unfortunately I do not do back up care. The last few times I did it was chaos and messed up our routine and was not worth the extra money.

I really want to message her again and let her know that I do have a full time opening and would be a great fit. The daycare is fully functional in my walkout basement and I have an assistant as well as an alternative sub, it is a very rare occasion that I close during the school year. The kicker is I do know the other daycare provider. We are not friends, but we are friendly. We actually worked in daycare together almost 18 years ago. I would hate to go behind her back and even try to steal her student. However I also know she takes lots of time off. I really don’t know how she has so many kids because they do require lots of back up care. (I’ve actually done it for 2 if her daycare families in the past)

So on the fence, if I should even reply back to this DCM and let her know what a better fit I would be. I should mention that the DCM in question is someone I know as well. She was actually a school age child at the daycare where the other provider and myself worked. Small town living at its best

I would message her back and say that you do not have drop in care, but you do have an open spot available and that you have an asst and alt sub to cover for the days that you need to take off. My son was in daycare for almost 3 years. The woman that cared for him, her daughter ultimately opened a daycare when she grew up and one of my families moved and her daughter was closer to her, so she left me and went to her. They had no problem doing that and I was fine with it too because it was a better fit for her. Right now I have one of the kids that used to go to the lady that watched my son. She kept taking time off on short notice and my dcm could not do that and talked with someone that knew me and decided to come to me. Basically the same situation you have. I met with them, they said how their current daycare person (my sons when he was little) took too much time off. Name of the game.

[Josiegirl]

I'm torn on this one. I'm not sure that I could do that. I know this is business but if you're friendly with this provider....and talk happens.

[DaveA]

Personally I wouldn't do that. That feels too close to poaching clients off someone for me. Now if she asks if you have a FT spot that's a different story.

[Cat Herder]

Personally I wouldn't do that. That feels too close to poaching clients off someone for me. Now if she asks if you have a FT spot that's a different story.

Same.

[KiwiKids]

I wouldn’t actively seek her out. If she asked me about a full time spot then I would let her know I have an opening.

[Annalee]

I’ve been moving towards having all teachers children the last few years, it’s absolutely great. School starts in a few weeks and I have a final spot I need to fill in order to maintain the budget I need. Anyways. I just got a message from a teacher that is looking for back up care. Her current daycare provider is taking off the first week of school, including numerous dates during the school year. I did respond that unfortunately I do not do back up care. The last few times I did it was chaos and messed up our routine and was not worth the extra money.

I really want to message her again and let her know that I do have a full time opening and would be a great fit. The daycare is fully functional in my walkout basement and I have an assistant as well as an alternative sub, it is a very rare occasion that I close during the school year. The kicker is I do know the other daycare provider. We are not friends, but we are friendly. We actually worked in daycare together almost 18 years ago. I would hate to go behind her back and even try to steal her student. However I also know she takes lots of time off. I really don’t know how she has so many kids because they do require lots of back up care. (I’ve actually done it for 2 if her daycare families in the past)

So on the fence, if I should even reply back to this DCM and let her know what a better fit I would be. I should mention that the DCM in question is someone I know as well. She was actually a school age child at the daycare where the other provider and myself worked. Small town living at its best

I wouldn't do this! A new provider opened here and did this taking most of another provider's kids. Now the new provider has been in business a year and the families are trying to go back to their original provider because the new provider decided she "couldn't be open all the time and decided to charge for holidays" It's a chaotic situation between these two providers now. The grass isn't greener on the other side!

[Jupadia]

For me it depends,

Recently I had a mom ask me of I had room this past March for her son to return and to start her new baby (had year off mat leave) , I only had room for 4 year old when she asked about it in the November. Then she signed up the baby for a spot I had this September for an opening cause she would have 4 year old starting school and attending else where then but when a parent gave notice in December I contented mom and told her I had an opening for both kids in March she pulled them from another provided care she had signed them up for but not yet started with. I felt bad but knew that mom had wanted them here to start with in the first place.

[Annalee]

For me it depends,

Recently I had a mom ask me of I had room this past March for her son to return and to start her new baby (had year off mat leave) , I only had room for 4 year old when she asked about it in the November. Then she signed up the baby for a spot I had this September for an opening cause she would have 4 year old starting school and attending else where then but when a parent gave notice in December I contented mom and told her I had an opening for both kids in March she pulled them from another provided care she had signed them up for but not yet started with. I felt bad but knew that mom had wanted them here to start with in the first place.

I have taken kids from other daycares, but I don't solicit them nor call them telling them I offer something I think the family would like better. If a client seeks me out, I will interview but I don't ask parents to come to me!

[lovemykidstoo]

I'm reading the responses and then read your initial post again. I didn't read it good enough I guess, I see now that you already told her that you don't do drop in care. I'm not positive that I would contact her a 2nd time. I think initially I would have said I don't do drop in, but I do have a full time spot available. I would ask yourself if your response to her would be different if you didn't know where she went now.

Like in my experience that I posted before, when a dcm called me looking for care it was because her dc provider took too much time off with short notice. She was very unhappy about that. That provider was the same person that cared for my son when he was a baby. We had not talked for about a year when I took this new family, but the way I looked at it was she contacted me (like your person did), she was unhappy (like your person is) and I figured if she wasn't going to go with me, she was going with someone else. She was going to leave that previous provider no matter what. It's totally different if you solicited her first. She called you. The question is, did you miss the opportunity. I just don't think I would contact her a 2nd time. I would have done it initially when she called the first time.

[Blackcat31]

I think if you had responded to her in the very first communication that you didn't do back up care but you did have a full time opening, that would have been perfectly fine and fair. But to e-mail her a second time with that information makes the whole situation cloudy in my opinion.

However, I do feel that if the parent really did want to switch daycare that it would be THEIR choice and providing information to someone isn't necessarily stealing a client but if the family really liked the other provider they wouldn't leave under any circumstances kwim?

I don't know... this is a hard one.
I think for me it comes down to that second e-mail.

[storybookending]

I think I agree that had you put it in the first email that I would be okay with it but since you already sent an email and this would be another email entirely it is a bit different. Did mom communicate back to your email when you said that you did not offer drop in care? A thank you or anything or did it go unanswered? I would think that maybe if she replied with a “thank you anyways” type of email and it wasn’t too long ago you could MAYBE send a follow up email.

I am also on the boat that you can’t “steal” anyone from anything. Like when a woman says another woman “stole” her man. Just no. He was a willing participant as well and it can’t all be blamed on the other woman. I feel daycare is the same way. If what you’re offering if a better bit and the parents agree too you didn’t really steal anyone, the parents made a choice.

I have one in my care that I actually got from another long standing provider in my town. She had originally told my DCM that she would take their infant while she was still pregnant and then months later after the baby was born decided she didn’t want an infant. Provider had had my dcb’s older siblings from birth-4. Parents came to me and after the child was a year old the old provider contacted them trying to get them to switch back now that he was past the infant stage. They declined and I still have the child. Funny enough the child’s mom also asked if I could take her friends infant as provider did the same thing to them in saying she would take the baby and then deciding not to after the baby was born. If you don’t want to provide infant care that’s fine (honestly once I’m more seasoned at this and my friends and family stop having kids i’ll probably stop myself) but stop saying yes and then changing your mind. I was not able to take the second child as I didn’t have any infant openings.

[CityGarden]

I think if you had responded to her in the very first communication that you didn't do back up care but you did have a full time opening, that would have been perfectly fine and fair. But to e-mail her a second time with that information makes the whole situation cloudy in my opinion.

However, I do feel that if the parent really did want to switch daycare that it would be THEIR choice and providing information to someone isn't necessarily stealing a client but if the family really liked the other provider they wouldn't leave under any circumstances kwim?

I don't know... this is a hard one.
I think for me it comes down to that second e-mail.

I agree with BC on this one.... had you made it matter of fact in the first email,

"Sorry I do not offer drop in care as it disrupts the children enrolled full time in our care, however we do have one full time spot available. Should you be interested, our full calendar as well as our staff plan to help avoid closures are listed on our website at www.daycare.com"

I think sending a second email makes it feel more like poaching a client because that DCP is closed. Also there may come a time when you NEED other DCPs to support you in some way.... maybe step in and take on clients during a vacation or emergency and you do not want to burn bridges. Right now you don't take much vacation but that may change then do you want fellow providers to do that to you?

Do you post your openings online? Does the school district allow you to send an email flyer they can distribute to the teachers or will they put a flyer in the teachers boxes / breakroom if you provide the flyers?

[Lil_Diddle]

Thank you all for the input. I think the fact I even had to ask I know it’s wrong. I’ve just been trying to fill this spot all summer long. And I agree, if the time comes and I need help I don’t want to burn bridges. I think I’ll pass on the second email and just keep advertising. This business can just be so frustrating. One year can be financially great and the next is a toss up.

I love having a group that I can come to in so many situations that can relate. Thank you for all of your help

[lovemykidstoo]

Thank you all for the input. I think the fact I even had to ask I know it’s wrong. I’ve just been trying to fill this spot all summer long. And I agree, if the time comes and I need help I don’t want to burn bridges. I think I’ll pass on the second email and just keep advertising. This business can just be so frustrating. One year can be financially great and the next is a toss up.

I love having a group that I can come to in so many situations that can relate. Thank you for all of your help

You never know, she may call you back.