Parents That Want Nothing to Do with Parenting

[Mad_Pistachio]

Kids who don't spend enough time with their parents don't generally learn the same culture, values and traditions of their elders. They risk being disconnected from their families and communities as adults. We already see it everywhere.

true.
however, unless it's in your job description to force parents to parent better, you can't change that. "a person changed against his will is up on same opinion still," said Dr. Phil. they will still do things the way they do, and if you stop providing care, they'll find someone else who will accommodate them.

every year, around some Veteran's or Columbus day, here on the forum, appears a thread created by an appalled provider whose DCF dared to bring a DCK in when they are off for a minor holiday, and the provider is open for business. s/he is looking for the tertium. which is non datur.
2 options. that's it.

[amberrose3dg]

I don't think it is that simple.

All parents are "them". That includes "us".

U.S. Culture is changing and MOST parents are not as involved in raising their kids. That includes "them" and "us".

Kids who don't spend enough time with their parents don't generally learn the same culture, values and traditions of their elders. They risk being disconnected from their families and communities as adults. We already see it everywhere.

I am an example of this. My parents spent very little time with me. I was raised by daycare, TV, books and neighbors. I have nothing in common with them, still spend minimal time with them (3 hours/year), know little about my family history and have no bonds with extended family. I am far from alone. Granted I am not sure if that is a good or bad thing. :::: That is a bigger debate for another day. ::

It is bigger than "them" vs "us".

Same here except back then my mom wasn't required to have a sitter for us once we were "old" enough. I was 8 raising myself and my sister. Now guess what my sister has nothing to do with my mom and I see her maybe twice a year for a holiday.it is becoming more of the normal.you can still do your job but wonder sometimes why it is so? Time is precious and is gone in a blink of an eye. Children should spend as much time with their families as they can(within reason, you have two days off EVERY week surely 1 day in a month or two can be spent with them).nothing will change my mind on that. I'm gonna scratch my head and think wtf if you NEVER take a day to be with your child in a year or more.
I'm not saying parents dont deserve a break. Why should we accept the normal as parents being detached from their children and expecting daycare grandparents,schools to raise their kids.i know those rare 3 day holiday weekends come guess what I'm taking my kids and doing something with them. They are grown in 18 short years. When they are off on their own I will be enjoying my "me" time.

[Annalee]

I think it is because many people have difficulty applying logic instead of emotion when it comes to issues pertaining to kids. If it is true and applies to us, then it stings. Insult, anger, projection, avoidance, denial and blame shifting become the focus and the topic gets lost.

It is a tough topic to take on when most are simply trying to meet basic needs, stay married and not mess their kids up. There has to be a middle ground somewhere and many can't see what that would be for them. Some don't want to.

I think you are spot on, as always! It is a huge issue here. Our new report card has changed the component of parent involvement to parent engagement. Effective this upcoming licensing year, We have to offer a parent engagement opportunity monthly as well as two conferences a year.....I do NOT feel providers can FIX this gulf between appropriate parenting/just parents that hang around like the buddy system but the state is pushing for us to TRY!

[Cat Herder]

I think you are spot on, as always! It is a huge issue here. Our new report card has changed the component of parent involvement to parent engagement. Effective this upcoming licensing year, We have to offer a parent engagement opportunity monthly as well as two conferences a year.....I do NOT feel providers can FIX this gulf between appropriate parenting/just parents that hang around like the buddy system but the state is pushing for us to TRY!

The training and requirements are starting here, too. It will be an expected part of our profession and job description (bottom left on link).

This is an interesting resource: https://www.childwelfare.gov/fei/practice-strategies/

[Annalee]

The training and requirements are starting here, too. It will be an expected part of our profession.

This is an interesting resource: https://www.childwelfare.gov/fei/practice-strategies/

Yep and we now have a component too where we give monthly info about health/safety issues with families. I can complete and do all the state asks but still not sure if providers/daycare can FIX the parenting problem.

[Ariana]

Part of my code of ethics as an ECE is responsibility to encourage parent engagement. Like seriously? How is this MY job? I have to care for the kids AND the adults? Where is the personal responsibility in life?

Like catherder I too was raised on tv and spent a lot of time alone. No matter what my childhood was like I am still taking responsibility for the fact that I had two children every single day. No one forced them on me!

[Annalee]

I think the schools here and education in general have a push to educate families. I feel this is a great push. But my concerns, which I have shared with legislators,is many of these families have multiple guardians so finding the CORRECT one that will "listen/do" for the child can be difficult. There is many children that rotate between many homes weekly. It is NOT that I don't care about families, I am simply confused at how to meet what the state is pushing with the "right" guardian. :confused:

[amberrose3dg]

Yep and we now have a component too where we give monthly info about health/safety issues with families. I can complete and do all the state asks but still not sure if providers/daycare can FIX the parenting problem.

How bout no! None of us get paid enough to parent the parents.

[Annalee]

How bout no! None of us get paid enough to parent the parents.

::I agree, but we don't get a choice in my state if we are going to remain licensed

[amberrose3dg]

::I agree, but we don't get a choice in my state if we are going to remain licensed

That's not even fair

[Cat Herder]

That's not even fair

Life is not fair. :hug:

::::::

Sorry, I tried to resist. I. Just. Couldn't. :: Just wrapped up parenting teens. Reminded me of their reaction to their first paychecks when they saw everything that comes out of it.

It is all becoming mandatory.

[lovemykidstoo]

::I agree, but we don't get a choice in my state if we are going to remain licensed

So what type of things do you have to do?

[Annalee]

So what type of things do you have to do?

We can place health/safety attachment handouts to newsletters, have ccrr do trainings for families, etc. to meet health/safety component.

For parent engagement, we can offer families the opportunity to read with the kids, share their job-place info, volunteer for parties or special occasions, etc.

For conferences, we will now have developmental checklists that I haven't seen yet, discuss milestones, resign contracts for upcoming year, etc.

It is all doable things but time-consuming mentally and physically.

[Annalee]

Life is not fair. :hug:

::::::

Sorry, I tried to resist. I. Just. Couldn't. :: Just wrapped up parenting teens. Reminded me of their reaction to their first paychecks when they saw everything that comes out of it.

It is all becoming mandatory.

Yep, mandatory being the key word!!!!!!

[lovemykidstoo]

We can place health/safety attachment handouts to newsletters, have ccrr do trainings for families, etc. to meet health/safety component.

For parent engagement, we can offer families the opportunity to read with the kids, share their job-place info, volunteer for parties or special occasions, etc.

For conferences, we will now have developmental checklists that I haven't seen yet, discuss milestones, resign contracts for upcoming year, etc.

It is all doable things but time-consuming mentally and physically.

That is alot of stuff. I can't remember what type of daycare are you and what state?