Death/Killing Talk

[dEHmom]

OK, I'm wondering,

first off do all kids talk/play about death/killing?

secondly, how do you deal with it? I normally just ask them not to talk like that in my home because it's not nice talk.

[daysofelijah]

They know that they are not supposed to talk about that stuff, no "dead" or "kill". So if it comes up I will remind/give a warning. If the child says it again I give a time out. If it keeps happening I talk to the parent.

I have had to talk to both parents of my 4 year old daycare boys. One was always saying "dammit", the other always saying "dead". Once I informed the parents it seldom comes up anymore and a quick reminder takes care of it, if it does.

[momofsix]

It depends:
If you mean "I'm going to kill you" kind of stuff, that is not allowed. i tell them it's very unkind and not the way we play.
If it's "exploring" death, I'll let them talk about what they think (without getting into theology or anything too scary) and talk to parents and find out if they've recently experienced a death of someone they know, or even a pet. It seems to me that a lot of kids get curious aout death at about 5-6 years. If that's the case i would inform the parents, so they can talk to their child about it.

[Missani]

I thought I was having to deal with this for the first time recently with my 4 yr. old boys. They kept talking about "getting shot."

However, just when I was going to put an end to it, I realized they were actually giving toys "shots" with the syringe from the doctor kit. They called it "shotting" the toys, and after the fact they toys had been "shot." ::

They were so sure it was such a bad thing to get a "shot" that it's about the worst they could think of. It seemed pretty innocent (and funny) to me, though.

I'm sure the actual "getting shot/killed/dead" days are in the near future, but for now, I'll enjoy the days of having nieve 4 year olds. ::

[countrymom]

I have one that all he talks about are monsters, ghosts, killing, death, vampires, and he's almost 4. He watches the wrong stuff on tv and I don't allow it to get carried away. This kid talks about it so much that he starts to scare himself.

[dEHmom]

OK. It is most definitely the 4-6 yo age group that talks like that. No recent deaths, I know that for sure.

I know a neighborhood kid was playing with mine quite often, and then I caught them playing "jason" and I asked what is jason, and then it was explained, they were talking about the movies! Michael Meyers! ugh.

Mostly boys doing it too. It's the "i'm going to kill you" "oh you're dead now you can't talk" or something like that. It just creeps me out, too morbid.

[AfterSchoolMom]

This was a big problem for me at the beginning of the school year w/ my new SA's. I just tacked up a list of things that they're NOT allowed to talk about, including death, killing, guns, other weapons, and all potty humor (also a huge ongoing problem).

Sometimes I swear that all boys think about are body parts, bodily functions, and violence!

[Lilbutterflie]

My dcg is obsessed with "death talk" in the last couple of weeks. She is 3, turning 4 in a few months. She never tells anyone she's going to kill them or anything similar to that. Mostly, it's imaginary play with stuffed animals or plastic animal figures. I think she is turning that age where she is starting to understand the concept and she's fascinated by it. Here is one of our recent conversations:
DCG: "Miss __________. My horse died" She says this as she's stroking the horse's mane and showing a sad face
Me: "Oh, what happened to your horse?"
DCG: "Aliens came and gave him poison."

[Unregistered]

Unacceptable in my book. I have 3 boys and as far as I know they have never talked about these things. If they have it has not been around me.

Then again, we don't watch any TV (really, we don't own one on purpose), and I will not allow guns (water or any other kind) in our home or as long as I am around. I think TV influences kids in so many ways! I am not some fanatic, by the way . . . My parents raised me without TV and I remember hating them for it as a child and teenager. I would be overjoyed to watch it at a friend's house when given the chance. After University, when I bought my first home (when I was still single), I bought my first TV and you know what . . . it never got turned on. I could never get into any program and would tune out or start doing something. When I was a child, I swore I would never do that to my children (LOL) . . . . but as a parent, I can't deny the benefits gained in my life due to the absence of Television.

[Unregistered]

I think I forgot to answer the question, sorry . I am not suggesting that no TV is doable for everyone . . . . I would explain to the children that if they have a question about death, they are free to ask me, but that this "killing" talk is not permitted in the daycare. I would speak to the parents, of course and tell them about my rule and expectations. It has to start at home, if it is going to happen at day care.

[cillybean83]

Eh, I'm on the fence about it...I don't mind nerf guns/water guns, I don't mind playing "army men" or "shooting aliens" because they're just using their imaginations and that's how most little boys like to play. As long as they aren't trying to kill each other literally, and the parents are okay with it, I'm okay with it.

That being said, I haven't had to deal with this in a daycare setting, as I only keep littles. My own son will soon be 8 and my experience in these matters comes from neighborhood boys playing.