How To Politely Decline A Family?

[Country Kids]

What if you do have more interviews or plan to do more? What is unprofessional about telling that truth?

There are so many life experiences where you have to wait to see if you are chosen. The issue with daycare is a fundamental misunderstanding that the parent is the one who is choosing rather than the provider is choosing whether to consider them for a slot.

So many providers do one interview and offer the slot right away. The average parent thinks this is universal. It isn't.

It's okay to not give them an answer and make them wait. They will have a zillion experiences in their parenting where they wait. If they need an immediate answer then they need to immediate care then they need to only interview providers who do both interview and signing on the same day.

it really is less painful to say a version of "we'll see" than no. It's less painful or caustic to say "you are one of many, I'll let you know" than a straight no.

If you do have more interviews, than let them know and interview the others. If you don't then why lie? That is what I don't understand. People are given a lot of no's in life and the more it's cushioned or soften the harder it gets to hear. It's good to here the word no and why, then drag it out and lie.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Message: "I loved meeting your family! I am going to be interviewing with interested families until (insert date). I will then decide which family I will be taking. Thank you!"

Then you send a "Sorry, I wish I could take everybody, but the spot has been filled" message.

I guess I don't see where the lie is by doing it this way. If I have a prospective family, I interview and if I am not sure it is such a great fit, in my head I am already planning to do more interviews to see if I can find a better fit. Even if I feel they would be a great fit, I tell them to go home and think about everything and I will contact them in the morning so I can sleep on it. For my own financial sake, I leave the door open in case I can't find anyone else and I take my time deciding, even if I have no current interviews scheduled. If they need immediate care (like next day care), I won't be a good fit for them unless they are past clients or highly referred. If I do find someone else or if I decide my finances can take the hit, I tell them I have decided to go another direction or that I have filled the spot.

[Meeko]

First off...I don't appreciate being called a liar.

I ALWAYS interview many families for the same spot. I ALWAYS tell them that I will decide which child I am going to take on such and such date.

I NEVER interview and sign up on the spot.

ALL of my "the place has been filled" messages are polite and to the point....and truthful. I thank them for considering my daycare and for coming to the interview. There is no reason to be rude. They do not need to know I did not particularly like them or their child.

I know that if I went to a job interview, I would just want a "sorry the place has been filled" letter. Not a "sorry, but you wouldn't fit in here because you're overweight and your shoes are the wrong color"....even if they were being truthful.

Sometimes it's OK to be tactful and polite while still saying no.

Thanks Nannyde....you get it.

[Country Kids]

First off...I don't appreciate being called a liar.

I ALWAYS interview many families for the same spot. I ALWAYS tell them that I will decide which child I am going to take on such and such date.

I NEVER interview and sign up on the spot.

ALL of my "the place has been filled" messages are polite and to the point....and truthful. I thank them for considering my daycare and for coming to the interview. There is no reason to be rude. They do not need to know I did not particularly like them or their child.

I know that if I went to a job interview, I would just want a "sorry the place has been filled" letter. Not a "sorry, but you wouldn't fit in here because you're overweight and your shoes are the wrong color"....even if they were being truthful.

Sometimes it's OK to be tactful and polite while still saying no.

Thanks Nannyde....you get it.

I think where the confusion started is you saying to the op something about interviewing others for the spot and from her post it doesn't look as if she was going to be interviewing others for the spot. She didn't indicate that anywhere so telling the couple about interviewing others looks like she would be lying.

[Meeko]

I just stated what I do when interviewing. I don't interview unless I have an opening. If I have an opening, I want it filled...so yes....I would continue to interview until I found a good family. I may interview 10+ families. Nine of them get a short, identical, polite message telling them thank you for their interest, but the spot has been filled. I don't spend forever telling each parent WHY I didn't choose them.

That does not make me a liar or unprofessional.