Filed a Complaint on Provider - Was A Misunderstanding

[nannyde]

Ages 3-5 full time all year.

By full time do you mean that each kid is there all day? You don't have a day group and afternoon group? You don't have some 3 days a week or 2 for example?

How many kids per day?

[lovemykidstoo]

Can I ask why?
Why is going downstairs (a space I am assuming you have been in or been shown prior) necessary for you?

I find it kind and courteous of the provider to bring baby to you. Let’s say she has 5 kids in care; that’s 10x’s she goes up and down those stairs daily and that’s probably the minimum.

Kudos to her for trying to make your pickups/drop offs so efficient for you.

As a parent I’d appreciate that benefit of her program.

You didn’t say why this is sticking point for you...

This was my question. In my previous house my daycare room primarily was in the basement. I always had the kids come up just before pickup time and we would all go down together after the last child was dropped off. (we also used the living area, kitchen/dining room on the main floor as well). I don't understand the need to go downstairs every time during drop off and pickup. To answer the OP question about why the provider has an issue with it is maybe it's disruptive. The kids really do put on a show when an adult is here. Things run much smoother when it's just me and the kids. Not to mention quick drop offs are just easier on the child really. I have so many that the longer the parent stays, the harder it is for the child to say goodbye.

My son was in daycare for 3 years before I started my own daycare, so I do understand your questioning it. My sons daycare was an in-home provider. You would walk into her garage that was renovated as a playroom and then knock on the door that would go into the house. I never stepped foot into the actual house, he just walked in when she opened the door. I thought for a long time that it was weird that I didn't go in. Looking back now that I'm a provider and I totally get it.

So my question to the OP is why do you need to go down every day at drop off and pickup too? I'm not meaning to sound snarky, but really are you looking for something in particular? Also, you said she pulled you aside and apologized and explained why. What did she say?

[MyAngels]

I didn't read completely through all the other responses so forgive me if this has already been asked, but why didn't you just talk with your provider about this issue, explaining what you wanted and why her reluctance made you uncomfortable before you decided to escalate things and call licensing on her? Trust is the cornerstone of any daycare relationship and if you couldn't even discuss something this simple with her then you obviously do not have that trust and should move on to another provider that you actually can trust.

If one of my families filed a complaint against me (opening up a whole can of worms for no good reason, btw) for something that could have been easily addressed with a simple conversation I would be terming immediately. You probably ought to start looking for a new provider.

[kendallina]

By full time do you mean that each kid is there all day? You don't have a day group and afternoon group? You don't have some 3 days a week or 2 for example?

How many kids per day?

All day. 6 kids. Why?

[racemom]

As I said in a previous post, I believe parents should be able to count heads at any time. Quick in and out.

seeing the staff in action? No. That would mean hanging out around the other people's children.

But the OP asked to go down, and was told she needed to text first. That is my concern, why wasn't she allowed to go down when she asked. If I have to text 15 minutes ahead of time to see the area, that tells me she is hiding something.

We do pick up and drop off in the room, so parents see us in action everyday, twice a day. Yes, it can be disruptive for those few minutes but it is because they are excited to see their friends arrive and to say goodbye. I believe it is important for parents to be able to interact with us, more than just handing them their child at the door.

[Unregistered]

I see the validity in the points made regarding safety and access to children. However, the regulation and laws dictate that parents and guardians are allowed this access. And at any time. So when these regulations appear to be restricted, isn’t something possibly amiss? I acknowledge my role in not understanding her reasons however my right to access is pretty clear in my state. And this provider made me feel as though I didn’t have that right. I think some of you are correct - this provider doesn’t meet our family needs. And that’s fine going forward.

The provider will term you anyways. I know I would term you since you called licensing for no good reason.

[Snowmom]

But the OP asked to go down, and was told she needed to text first. That is my concern, why wasn't she allowed to go down when she asked. If I have to text 15 minutes ahead of time to see the area, that tells me she is hiding something.

We do pick up and drop off in the room, so parents see us in action everyday, twice a day. Yes, it can be disruptive for those few minutes but it is because they are excited to see their friends arrive and to say goodbye. I believe it is important for parents to be able to interact with us, more than just handing them their child at the door.

I'm going to answer from my perspective, because I do things very similarly.
My answer: this is a new family. I set the precedence right off the bat. The first few weeks, I make absolutely no exception to my rules. After I know the family for awhile, I will take things on a case by case basis since they now know I'm serious about my policies.

As far as parents counting heads. No, I don't openly state "sure, walk in and take a look." I take privacy very, very seriously. Plus, they (parents) don't know the ages of the children I have in care, some may look younger than 1 who are actually closer to 2 and try to say I have too many infants. Or they don't understand licensing capacities. Here, I can switch between a C1/C2 license if I want to take on an additional toddler. I can have between 10-12 kids in varying ages. I also have part timers who trade days. People who aren't in the business just don't understand the intricacies of the rules.

They just have no business in my business beyond their child and they have no real vested interest in the others.
I communicate with them in several different ways- probably TOO MUCH. They are well informed on what they need to be informed on. They see pictures, videos and in depth information on projects we do several times a week (I have a password protected website only they can view after logging on). They don't need to be face to face with the other children to see us working on our day.

To me, this is a business first. Not family or friends. I don't hang out with my own children's teachers, substitutes or admins in their school. I don't demand to be able to walk in to their classroom. I know it's disruptive to the kids and their teachers and the learning that's suppose to be actively happening all day, even in play.

I understand that the way I do things is not for everyone.
I also understand why some providers feel they want to offer that service.

What irritates me though is the people that say "If you aren't allowed to see your child (along with others-because let's face it, THAT'S what they want to see) in action, then you shouldn't trust that provider." That's wrong in my opinion. If it doesn't work for them, just move on to one who offers what you want.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Hi,
FTM here and new to daycare in general. This was my child’s first week at an in home daycare. The main area is in the basement of a home. The provider always meets me at the door and doesn’t invite me down to the basement. I asked to go down and she said to text her ahead of time and that I could only go there for a few minutes. She also told me if I visited at lunch, I could not nurse my baby down in the basement but would have to stay upstairs. This bothered me and I called local child care licensing to ask if this was normal or not. They said it wasn’t and encouraged me to file a complaint. The same day, I went to pick up my child and the provider pulled me aside to apologize and explained her reasoning but said I could go downstairs at any time.

Long story short, I felt we had a misunderstanding about the whole thing and felt better after we talked. I immediately emailed the licensing people and said I made a mistake regarding the complaint. Will they be able to “cancel” it? I don’t want them pursing it especially since I feel bad for not being clearer with her and also, I don’t want her upset with me (it was anonymous but she’ll know it was from me I am sure )
I wish I had just communicated better with her rather than calling them for advice and getting persuaded into making a complaint
Sorry this was so long- this daycare thing mixed with new Mom anxiety is making trouble for me

I have learned that every daycare operate so differently, and they all have such different set-ups, so their policies generally reflect rules to make their job go as smoothly as possible. In this case, you believed you had access to the basement at all times and she put conditions on that access, so you went above her head. When you spoke next, you cleared up the misinformation, but imo, the damage is done. Now every time she tells you no, she has to fear that you're going to call licensing on her. You would be a risky client for me, so I would most definitely terminate care.
It's very frustrating as a provider that every rule we have is questioned as though we have something to hide. Maybe she got new carpet on her stairs and didn't want people coming in and out. Maybe someone recently fell on the stairs and she's freaked out by having parents up and down them. Maybe when you come down into the basement, it squeaks the floorboards and the babies who are napping will wake up. There can be so many reasons other than she's hiding something. A simple conversation cleared up the issue. So if you liked her and felt good about her care and this was just a single issue that bothered you, have the conversation first, and if it still feels upsetting or uncomfortable, then find new care. Calling licensing was an over reaction imo, since it seems like a simple conversation cleared it up. If you truly felt she was hiding something or providing unsafe care, then I would pull my child and make the call for sure, but this doesn't appear to be the case. Anyway, best of luck in your childcare search and just remember to keep open communication with your provider! happyface

[Blackcat31]

I'm going to answer from my perspective, because I do things very similarly.
My answer: this is a new family. I set the precedence right off the bat. The first few weeks, I make absolutely no exception to my rules. After I know the family for awhile, I will take things on a case by case basis since they now know I'm serious about my policies.

As far as parents counting heads. No, I don't openly state "sure, walk in and take a look." I take privacy very, very seriously. Plus, they (parents) don't know the ages of the children I have in care, some may look younger than 1 who are actually closer to 2 and try to say I have too many infants. Or they don't understand licensing capacities. Here, I can switch between a C1/C2 license if I want to take on an additional toddler. I can have between 10-12 kids in varying ages. I also have part timers who trade days. People who aren't in the business just don't understand the intricacies of the rules.

They just have no business in my business beyond their child and they have no real vested interest in the others.
I communicate with them in several different ways- probably TOO MUCH. They are well informed on what they need to be informed on. They see pictures, videos and in depth information on projects we do several times a week (I have a password protected website only they can view after logging on). They don't need to be face to face with the other children to see us working on our day.

To me, this is a business first. Not family or friends. I don't hang out with my own children's teachers, substitutes or admins in their school. I don't demand to be able to walk in to their classroom. I know it's disruptive to the kids and their teachers and the learning that's suppose to be actively happening all day, even in play.

I understand that the way I do things is not for everyone.
I also understand why some providers feel they want to offer that service.

What irritates me though is the people that say "If you aren't allowed to see your child (along with others-because let's face it, THAT'S what they want to see) in action, then you shouldn't trust that provider." That's wrong in my opinion. If it doesn't work for them, just move on to one who offers what you want.

I also think given the actions of this parent... calling to ask licensing BEFORE thinking to ask the provider says alot about the parent. I am willing to bet this parent came across as "difficult" or "needy" immediately and more than likely fits the description of those parents that when asked about on this forum during the interview most of our responses are "RUN", "NEXT" or "Red Flag". Hence the providers unwillingness to allow her "access" to anything other than the child.

I am NOT saying this parent is any of those things but the simple fact that as an adult, they chose to "tattle" or "report" first before knowing the whole story or taking it to the person that could actually answer her questions and appease her concerns is unsettling to me.

NOT once but TWICE!!

First parent called licensing to ask BEFORE going to provider to discuss openly and honestly .
Second the parent posted here. AGAIN, before going to the provider to discuss openly and honestly.

IMHO, that's not something you can simply chalk up to first time parenting as poster alludes to several times.

That's something I equate with someone's overall character.

[Cat Herder]

If I have to text 15 minutes ahead of time to see the area, that tells me she is hiding something.

Unless she has to secure the infants in cribs away from the toddlers. Secure the toddlers away from the preschoolers. Secure the preschoolers away from the stairs and art supplies. Go upstairs. Secure her dogs and unlock the door.

I agree with you in that if she had two full-time assistants, my point is moot. Although, none of that information was in the OP and we only have half of the story.

I work alone and have to leave my group unsupervised or move a mixed aged group of 6 through my family living space, 4 rooms, to answer the door. 3 non-mobile. My playroom is separate from my living space with easy access to the backyard and playground.

I don't require a text because I installed cameras and a driveway alarm that gives me sufficient time to free myself up to deal with an unexpected adult. Unless we are in the middle of painting/gluing or sand/water tables, then they will just stand outside watching us through the window until we are finished. Kids first. The State people even sit in their car and wait patiently in that case.

I am already surprise inspected by people trained to know what to look for every 10-12 weeks, up to four hours per visit for health and safety. Sometimes more. I am surprise observed by the State for minimum 4 hours a year to rate curriculum, engagement and interactions.

I have no problem with a parent randomly showing up, wanting to come in, do a quick look around and a head count. It is their right. But, I expect they take their kid with them when they leave. If it becomes a constant disruptive thing, I will replace them. That is my right. In reality, all of that can be done much easier during playground time, which is posted, and much less disruptive for the provider. Why don't more parents make use of that? Because it is uncomfortable and dirty?

If they are that suspicious or untrusting, they need to put their child in an environment with cameras they can view all day or glass-walled centers with many adults in and out all day. For their own emotional needs. Either family-based care is for you or it's not. It was never intended to be an institution. Common sense needs to be applied.

Not all parents want their kid around other adults after they drop them with their chosen provider. They have privacy rights, too. I work with a lot of public safety, they don't want people knowing where their kids are. None mind quick visits and head counts. It is the long visits where their kid becomes "acquainted" with other adults they don't want.

[rosieteddy]

I think its time to look for a center.First time parent or not calling licensing was wrong.You do not trust the provider so that home is not a good fit.A center would be more open door policy .I rarely let parents into the daycare area.Only because it was chaotic when parents were around,not because I had children hidden.I do understand your concern.Things are not always as they seem and its your child.I welcomed parents in the playyard at pickup and if they had expressed an interest in viewing inside while we were out I would have let them.I think you need to trust that you picked the right caregiver or try a center.

[nannyde]

All day. 6 kids. Why?

I was just trying to imagine how it worked. I think I have you confused with someone else who just did preschool for a few hours a day and took the summers off.

[Cat Herder]

"Anyone can make their daycare space look good after hours, but without seeing it during regular hours how can you know the provider isn't just warehousing kids."

By discretely parking and watching your children play and interact on the playground. Most providers can tell you where the best viewing is that your child won't see you and get upset or stop participating. Some of us even have a nice bench in the shade set up.

The provider won't care if you are there unless you demand they stop their work day to give you their full attention. That is the problem. Disrupting kids learning and the providers' schedule.

Outside viewing, out of your childs sight, does not disrupt the flow and allows a more natural view of the relationship of your children to their peers and provider. That is what most parents really want to see, isn't it?

Why interrupt circle time, art, cooking, music, center time and nap? Obviously, the kids and provider will be upset. That is not a natural view of their day.

[racemom]

"Anyone can make their daycare space look good after hours, but without seeing it during regular hours how can you know the provider isn't just warehousing kids."

By discretely parking and watching your children play and interact on the playground. Most providers can tell you where the best viewing is that your child won't see you and get upset or stop participating. Some of us even have a nice bench in the shade set up.

The provider won't care if you are there unless you demand they stop their work day to give you their full attention. That is the problem. Disrupting kids learning and the providers' schedule.

Outside viewing, out of your childs sight, does not disrupt the flow and allows a more natural view of the relationship of your children to their peers and provider. That is what most parents really want to see, isn't it?

Why interrupt circle time, art, cooking, music, center time and nap? Obviously, the kids and provider will be upset. That is not a natural view of their day.

I agree this is ideal. Everyone seems to think OP was planning on hanging out with the kids. My understanding was during drop off or pick up she asked to see the daycare space and was told she needed to text 15 minutes ahead of time. Maybe I see thing differently then home providers, but why need 15 minutes heads up when the parent is standing right there. Why couldnt she go downstairs, quick look around and leave. Some of the comments are I can't leave the kids but she already had to come upstairs. If ahe thought the parent wanted to stay, she should have told her they needed a quick drop off, but she could have done it downstairs.

I still feel like the provider was hiding something and would not leave my child somewhere I was not allowed to come into.

[Josiegirl]

I agree this is ideal. Everyone seems to think OP was planning on hanging out with the kids. My understanding was during drop off or pick up she asked to see the daycare space and was told she needed to text 15 minutes ahead of time. Maybe I see thing differently then home providers, but why need 15 minutes heads up when the parent is standing right there. Why couldnt she go downstairs, quick look around and leave. Some of the comments are I can't leave the kids but she already had to come upstairs. If ahe thought the parent wanted to stay, she should have told her they needed a quick drop off, but she could have done it downstairs.

I still feel like the provider was hiding something and would not leave my child somewhere I was not allowed to come into.

Plus OP was told she could visit anytime, miscommunication problem possible? Or misinterpretation of open door policy?
I live in a small town, all my parents see one another between shopping, different events and activities offered in our community. They're not strangers and know all the other kids and families, some better than others. Guess I'm lucky in that way.