Filed a Complaint on Provider - Was A Misunderstanding

[nannyde]

OP:
I wanted to come down and see where my LO is sleeping and playing. I also wanted to meet the assistants (there are two). I never thought it was even an issue until she pushed back on my request to go down. It made me wonder why and if there was a reason she didn’t want me coming down. I think if she had just let me come down the first time, it wouldn’t have planted suspicions in my mind. Also, when I told a few friends that I didn’t go down there, they seemed alarmed, telling me that they were always welcome into their providers care area (in home as wel). So it made me wonder what was up with mine. Keep in mind I am a FTM and only have my friends to ask/ compare notes or my own feelings/ instincts to rely on

did you see the sleep and playroom before enrollment? Did you ask to meet the staff assistants? Were you made aware of the staff before starting? What was the reason you didn't require meeting them before enrollment?

Most parents who want in the playroom want to see the other kids and want to watch the provider/staff care for the kids. It's unusual to have a parent even enroll without seeing the care area.

[Unregistered]

I had a tour of the daycare however it was after business hours. There was no option to come during the day. I was told once my LO attended I could visit during the day. I did not meet the assistants since it was closed. There is no shortage of infant care and this place was found through a search on the states website.

[nannyde]

I had a tour of the daycare however it was after business hours. There was no option to come during the day. I was told once my LO attended I could visit during the day. I did not meet the assistants since it was closed. There is no shortage of infant care and this place was found through a search on the states website.

So you did see the area where the baby slept and played? How would the rooms change during the day? What is the difference between seeing the areas when the business was open or closed?

I'm trying to figure out why you didn't just ask to meet the staff assistants. That was the only thing you hadn't seen before enrollment.

I do understand that you feel you were misled by being told you could visit the area during the day. It would have been best for the provider to just take all the kids into a different area of the house so you could see the area during the daytime I guess.

[nannyde]

OP again:
Thanks. I hope it was clear that I only wanted to come down at pick up/ drop off and made it clear the lunch thing would be occasional. I have a job and need to be there- I was never suggesting every day. In fact I had told her maybe once or twice per month!

See that's where it becomes muddy. You are one parent and you say you wanted to come down at both drop off and pick up and lunch couple of times a month. Another parent may feel it's reasonable to do lunch every day. Another parent may hang out for a VERY long time at both drop off and pick up and do lunch every day.

As a side note... I can't imagine that kind of adult traffic on my stairs. I definitely would NOT want parents bringing their children up and down my stairs. I did daycare in one house for 13 years. If I allowed JUST parents dropping off and picking up kids in the basement I would have had over a HUNDRED THOUSAND trips up and down my stairs with parents holding their kids. That's with eight kids just on just the day shift. I did evening shift in the house for about ten years too.

In my other house I ran an average of twelve kids per day where their playrooms were upstairs for nine years. That's over a hundred thousand trips too and just counting the day shift.

If we added in the night shift between both houses my guess would be at least another 100K

What do you think the odds are that in 300 thousand trips on my stairs I would have had a number of accidents of parents on the stairs with their kids? That's just arrival and departure numbers. That's not visiting during the day.

As I said before I had three falls on my stairs in 21 years and all three were with my staff assistants with their own kids. Not once did they fall with someone else's kid and I never fell once carting kids up and down.

I have enough problems getting parents to make their kids behave on a ten foot walk from driveway to front door. I can't imagine allowing them to parent their kids inside my house, especially on my stairs... the most dangerous thing in my house.

I'm a firm believer in parents being able to go into the play and sleep areas unannounced to count kids. That's really the only way to know how many kids are in the house. A quick in and out to count heads. Other than that, I can't imagine why a parent would want to be in the playroom watching the other kids and staff. I don't want other parents around my daycare kids and I don't want myself or my staff being watched working.

I live in a tiny town that has a school preschool for ages three to five. You can't even get into the building without being buzzed in by the office staff. Once into the building you are not allowed to go ANYWHERE but the office. If you need to see your kid he is either escorted or sent to the office. Parents are never allowed in the preschool classrooms unless they are having all parents in for a party or something. They are never allowed to drop in unannounced and they certainly aren't allowed to stay in the classroom. They serve special needs kids within this group who are as vulnerable as an infant but the parents of those children have to follow the same rules.

When my son was in preschool in the early 2000's they allowed parents to "visit" any time they wanted. That lasted about a month and they shut that down. They had constant parents coming in and out and staying to watch their kids play. It was highly disruptive. They changed their rules to entry into the office only and took the kids to the office if a parent wanted immediate access.

The concept of being able to come and go into the play areas or sleep areas seems to be such a big deal with home daycare but the parent willingly allows no immediate access to the room when their kids go to preschool.

[nannyde]

I would not be comfortable with an in- home provider that wouldn't allow me access to the playroom. My preschool is at the of my house so parents see my space and other kids daily. They see my interactions with their kid and other kids everyday. I'm not sure I would have filed a complaint but I probably would have pulled my child after the first conversation.

I wouldn't be comfortable with an in home provider who would allow me access to the playroom when the other kids are present. I know I'm safe but I don't know a thing about the other parents. Just because you give birth to a kid or adopt a kid, and pay for child care or have child care paid for you, it doesn't mean you are safe to be around other people's children.

Our prisons and mental health facilities are chocked full of parents. Being a parent is NOT an indicator that you are safe to be around other people's children.

This is a great thread regarding safety of children and perpetrators. https://www.daycare.com/forum/showth...ighlight=abuse

[Unregistered]

I see the validity in the points made regarding safety and access to children. However, the regulation and laws dictate that parents and guardians are allowed this access. And at any time. So when these regulations appear to be restricted, isn’t something possibly amiss? I acknowledge my role in not understanding her reasons however my right to access is pretty clear in my state. And this provider made me feel as though I didn’t have that right. I think some of you are correct - this provider doesn’t meet our family needs. And that’s fine going forward.

[Blackcat31]

I see the validity in the points made regarding safety and access to children. However, the regulation and laws dictate that parents and guardians are allowed this access. And at any time. So when these regulations appear to be restricted, isn’t something possibly amiss? I acknowledge my role in not understanding her reasons however my right to access is pretty clear in my state. And this provider made me feel as though I didn’t have that right. I think some of you are correct - this provider doesn’t meet our family needs. And that’s fine going forward.

I think the issue stems from your version of “access” and the providers version of “access”.

What exactly does your state say about access?
Not what they said when you called but what is the wording written in your state regulations stating how access is/isn’t restricted?

If you are unsure, what state are you in?
(it’s usually pretty searchable info and most states list regulations online)

[nannyde]

I see the validity in the points made regarding safety and access to children. However, the regulation and laws dictate that parents and guardians are allowed this access. And at any time. So when these regulations appear to be restricted, isn’t something possibly amiss? I acknowledge my role in not understanding her reasons however my right to access is pretty clear in my state. And this provider made me feel as though I didn’t have that right. I think some of you are correct - this provider doesn’t meet our family needs. And that’s fine going forward.

Could you cite your state's code for access? I'm in Iowa and we are required to provide unlimited access to the child and the provider caring for the child. This is accomplished by answering the door with child in hand. Immediate access to child and provider. It doesn't mean access to the child in any area of the house the child isn't in. It doesn't mean access to the other children.

In my State your provider would be compliant by simply meeting you at the door with your child.

[Unregistered]

When I called licensing they made it clear it’s access to the room (not just my child) as well.

[nannyde]

When I called licensing they made it clear it’s access to the room (not just my child) as well.

That's not helpful. I would need to see the actual code.

I had a deal years ago where I had a call from an aunt who just got custody of her sisters daughter who had been removed by the state. The aunt sets up an appointment to interview the next day. A few hours later... during nap... I get a doorbell ring and two ladies are at my door and a dude is at the car.

I open the nearby window instead of the door and ask if I can help them. The child's mom says she has come to inspect my daycare. She tells me her sister might bring her kid to me and dhs told her she had the right to inspect my house. I told her that I don't do unannounced inspections and she was welcome to come with her sister tomorrow. She could but her friends could not.

She repeated that she was told that she could come any time she wanted and I had to let her in.

She turned me into DHS for not allowing her access and poof.... I get inspected the next day. I KNEW I would have dhs at my door the next day so I got ready for an inspection and answered the door to the inspector with a "I was expecting you."

This lady had never met me.
she had never seen my program.
She had never been inside my house.
I never met her kid.
I never interviewed her or her sister.

I get a phone call for a potential interview from TOTAL strangers and less than 24 hours later I have a complaint and an inspection.

I talked to the inspector about what had happened and that someone in the daycare division told this lady she could come into my home and someone else took the complaint without knowing the code.

I was NOT required to allow a stranger off the street to come unannounced with two friends to inspect my house much less when I was home alone. She was a parent but not a parent in my daycare.
She was also someone the state felt was unsafe to have her own kid and I was supposed to allow her access to mine and the daycare kids?

The inspector gave me a 100 percent evaluation and went back to the two who gave her the permission and took the complaint to clarify the regulations.

So.... don't believe what someone at the daycare division tells you. It may be their interpretation. It may not be the law.

[racemom]

So you did see the area where the baby slept and played? How would the rooms change during the day? What is the difference between seeing the areas when the business was open or closed?

I'm trying to figure out why you didn't just ask to meet the staff assistants. That was the only thing you hadn't seen before enrollment.

I do understand that you feel you were misled by being told you could visit the area during the day. It would have been best for the provider to just take all the kids into a different area of the house so you could see the area during the daytime I guess.

I disagree with nannyde on this. I have seen numerous times where something has happened to a child in daycare and the provider was way over ratio and people says why would anyone take their child there. This is why I would want to be able to see the daycare staff and area in action. Anyone can make their daycare space look good after hours, but without seeing it during regular hours how can you know the provider isn't just warehousing kids.

I am going to claify I am not an in home provider, I have worked at the same daycare center for the past 12 years and love it!

[nannyde]

I disagree with nannyde on this. I have seen numerous times where something has happened to a child in daycare and the provider was way over ratio and people says why would anyone take their child there. This is why I would want to be able to see the daycare staff and area in action. Anyone can make their daycare space look good after hours, but without seeing it during regular hours how can you know the provider isn't just warehousing kids.

I am going to claify I am not an in home provider, I have worked at the same daycare center for the past 12 years and love it!

As I said in a previous post, I believe parents should be able to count heads at any time. Quick in and out.

seeing the staff in action? No. That would mean hanging out around the other people's children.

[kendallina]

I wouldn't be comfortable with an in home provider who would allow me access to the playroom when the other kids are present. I know I'm safe but I don't know a thing about the other parents. Just because you give birth to a kid or adopt a kid, and pay for child care or have child care paid for you, it doesn't mean you are safe to be around other people's children.

Our prisons and mental health facilities are chocked full of parents. Being a parent is NOT an indicator that you are safe to be around other people's children.

This is a great thread regarding safety of children and perpetrators. https://www.daycare.com/forum/showth...ighlight=abuse

That's why you wouldn't enroll your child in my care and I wouldn't enroll my child in yours Nannyde. That's okay

[nannyde]

That's why you wouldn't enroll your child in my care and I wouldn't enroll my child in yours Nannyde. That's okay

Iirc you do preschool? Do you have a multi level aged group care all year around with full time kids?

[kendallina]

Iirc you do preschool? Do you have a multi level aged group care all year around with full time kids?

Ages 3-5 full time all year.