Filed a Complaint on Provider - Was A Misunderstanding

[Cat Herder]

My understanding was during drop off or pick up she asked to see the daycare space and was told she needed to text 15 minutes ahead of time. Maybe I see thing differently then home providers, but why need 15 minutes heads up when the parent is standing right there. Why couldnt she go downstairs, quick look around and leave. Some of the comments are I can't leave the kids but she already had to come upstairs. If ahe thought the parent wanted to stay, she should have told her they needed a quick drop off, but she could have done it downstairs.

I still feel like the provider was hiding something and would not leave my child somewhere I was not allowed to come into.

To me the OP was discussing future random mid day visits, not that actual moment during that particular drop off. That did not sound rational. It is possible I was wrong. The fact that she also said "if I visited at lunch" implied she was more likely discussing future visits.

When offered a separate room to breastfeed in, she did not want it. She wanted to sit and breastfeed in the playroom with other kids and the providers present. To observe the providers and other children's interactions.

"The provider always meets me at the door and doesn’t invite me down to the basement. I asked to go down and she said to text her ahead of time and that I could only go there for a few minutes. She also told me if I visited at lunch, I could not nurse my baby down in the basement but would have to stay upstairs."

She was told she could come down but could not linger. She did not like that so filed a complaint without discussing her concerns with the provider. Now she wants to take it back because once she discussed it with her provider she realized the reason for the heads up request was valid.

[hwichlaz]

Cat herder, she was told she could come down for a few min at pick up.....with advance notice. I’d pull my kid too. We read about providers with babyies all lined up in car seats in basements and wonder how they get away with it for years....this is how.

[Unregistered]

Sodius

Maybe the DC provider wanted the 15 minutes heads up so she could put the room in some kind of order. You know, pride in your home and all that. Just my thoughts.

[hwichlaz]

Maybe the DC provider wanted the 15 minutes heads up so she could put the room in some kind of order. You know, pride in your home and all that. Just my thoughts.

That’s a big red flag.

[Cat Herder]

Cat herder, she was told she could come down for a few min at pick up.....with advance notice. I’d pull my kid too. We read about providers with babyies all lined up in car seats in basements and wonder how they get away with it for years....this is how.

Where is that?

"The same day, I went to pick up my child and the provider pulled me aside to apologize and explained her reasoning but said I could go downstairs at any time." - Implies other conversation was at drop off.

I am not reading that the same way you are. I added both direct quotes from OP.

[amberrose3dg]

"Anyone can make their daycare space look good after hours, but without seeing it during regular hours how can you know the provider isn't just warehousing kids."

By discretely parking and watching your children play and interact on the playground. Most providers can tell you where the best viewing is that your child won't see you and get upset or stop participating. Some of us even have a nice bench in the shade set up.

The provider won't care if you are there unless you demand they stop their work day to give you their full attention. That is the problem. Disrupting kids learning and the providers' schedule.

Outside viewing, out of your childs sight, does not disrupt the flow and allows a more natural view of the relationship of your children to their peers and provider. That is what most parents really want to see, isn't it?

Why interrupt circle time, art, cooking, music, center time and nap? Obviously, the kids and provider will be upset. That is not a natural view of their day.

I think the person called licensing to get her "way".Here is what I think. You could of spoken to your provider first. I feel you wanted to tattle instead of talking like an adult to get her to give you your way from the start. That said I think most providers would terminate your contract over that.You are only thinking about you and not the other families and children in this scenario. People that have to call the shots need to hire a nanny.I have 12 children in my care. Parents should drop off and pick up as soon as possible. It is not because I am trying to hide something or doing something wrong. It is disruptive and makes a scene for chaos. I also have limited parking spaces for drops offs and pick ups. If all 12 decided to hang out I'd have some upset neighbors.Nannyde makes a great point. How does the provider know you are safe to be around other people's children? She does not.I have had some children with shady family members. I would never let them in to hang out with my daycare kids no matter what! I am responsible for the safety of those kids before anything. Read some stories on this forum and you will see why parents can't just come in to hang out. If you have free time to hang out take your child home and spend some one on one time. I had a little girl that was in grandma's custody(mom was in prison for drug charges and assault) and guess what mom got out and grandma sent the mom to pick up the little girl. Do you think I should of let her in my mom to hang out with the other children? People can do strange things. I do not want to have to worry about what someone might do.If you do not trust your provider go to one that you do.

[Cat Herder]

Maybe the DC provider wanted the 15 minutes heads up so she could put the room in some kind of order. You know, pride in your home and all that. Just my thoughts.

That would not be ok with me, either. And I work alone with mixed age group, medically fragile and special needs.

[Unregistered]

Sodius

Well I like a clean home where tripping over toys isn't an issue when I am showing someone the play are. Maybe that is just me.

[amberrose3dg]

That’s a big red flag.

Yeah but what is she gonna do in those 15 minutes? Hide babies in closets? ::
It may be to clean up messes or to make sure she has no immediate needs to care for like diaper changes etc...
People that are doing shady stuff aren't gonna let you in no matter what.I think she should let her look around and then take her child home. The child will be really upset once mom leaves.

[Josiegirl]

I still am chalking it all up to first time mom and first time daycare user.
Not long ago, I received a call from a mom-to-be who, just because I told her that I did have an infant opening, and we set up an appt. for a month down the road, she assumed she had the spot. We never met and only talked a couple minutes on the phone. 1st time mom and 1st time daycare user.
It's really easy to look at all this from a seasoned providers' POV or experienced mom and think certain things but at the end of the day, I feel she was only looking out for the best for her own non-verbal infant in the best way she knew how.

[Unregistered]

Well, I hope she fines a daycare she can trust and not assume babies are being hidden out of sight. Or that something shady is going on.

[hwichlaz]

Yeah but what is she gonna do in those 15 minutes? Hide babies in closets? ::
It may be to clean up messes or to make sure she has no immediate needs to care for like diaper changes etc...
People that are doing shady stuff aren't gonna let you in no matter what.I think she should let her look around and then take her child home. The child will be really upset once mom leaves.

Unstrap them from containment devices. Put away something dangerous....turn off her soaps.

[Cat Herder]

Well I like a clean home where tripping over toys isn't an issue when I am showing someone the play are. Maybe that is just me.

Me, too. In a perfect world.

Luckily most parents expect a playroom full of children will be in disarray several times a day, at the minimum. Clean and safe is obvious even with toys (and shoes, lately) strewn about. ::

That is a lot of pressure to put on yourself. :hug:

[Snowmom]

Ugh.


Just because a provider doesn't allow unscheduled visits, does NOT automatically mean they must be hiding something.


There are good providers and yes, some bad ones.

Each provider in this industry has their own set of rules and policies. They differ greatly, likely for all good reasons. Having the freedom to choose is a blessing. Finding out your wants and needs within those choices is equally, a blessing.

Neither approach to "the open door policy" is better than the other, just different.

[Cat Herder]

Unstrap them from containment devices. Put away something dangerous....turn off her soaps.

They still make soaps?