Nannyde? Anybody? Please help! Very happy good baby..........But Screams!

[mickey2]

How do I get a 14 month old baby to not scream. He is actually a very easy very good baby except for the high pitched screeches that he lets out........sometimes up to 20 to 30 times in one minute.

I have so much patience with all of my children however this is very VERY grating on my nerves and often times when he does it the other 2 years old copy this!

This is getting worse despite my saying *** No! No screaming!

I just had a thought however, and put him down for a nap. I am wondering maybe he does this when he is tired?

I love him dearly (he is actually my grandson) but I need for this very high pitched screeching to stop NOW!

Taking some medicine now for my headache!

[DCMomOf3]

is it happy screeching or mad/sad? If he is mad/sad I would too put him down to nap if he is dry and full.

[mickey2]

is it happy screeching or mad/sad? If he is mad/sad I would too put him down to nap if he is dry and full.

He does it when he is happy. He also screams when he is upset or angry but you can tell when he is angry by the expression on his face. Just now though he was very happy! Playing with toys, crawling around, he just screeches out of the blue! I think he just likes to hear himself!

[SilverSabre25]

I think it's the age; I have two near that age (they're both 15 months) and they have the pterodactyl screech down to a science. A science, I tell you! Happy, sad, mad, whatever....they all warrant that ear-splitting, eardrum-shattering screech. One is annoying, but two....zomg...

While overall I think it's an age thing (every other 14-18ish month old I've had has gone through this stage) and nothing can really stop it since they are too young to actually understand, it does grate enough on my nerves that I try. At least I can have the illusion of stopping it, !

When they do it, I have been getting *quieter* and saying their name (a bit sharply/sternly to get their attention, then in a very low tone, "No screaming". This way I'm not sending the mixed message by screaming them to not scream, kwim? It at least gets their attention long enough to quit screaming for a second.

[nannyde]

I would do a Cesar Milan on him and shhhttt him with a stink eye face.

I would use words like "you quiet"... shhhht with a hand motion to go with it like your full hand palm forward. If he persists do the same technique but when you shhhttt him go to him and turn his body AWAY from you and walk away.

If he still does it then give him the stink eye... move towards him ... and remove him (walk with him with his face out... his back to your belly) to a pnp and then turn your back and walk away. As soon as he's quiet... go in and without ANY eye contact... pick him up again with his back to your belly and put him right back where he was with his BACK to you... turn quickly to walk away and say "go play".

rinse and repeat.

Loud screetching continuously for long periods of time is a fixation and control move. He's most likely getting a lot of attention for doing it and most likely got a lot of adults laughing at it when he could first do it. It's important to send the message to him that it's not what we do. Everyone else deserves to play and be happy without any "environmental noise terrorism"

This is a common age for it but most kids quit doing it after the get bored with it ... lasts a couple of weeks. I allow it until it becomes them. If it becomes them then I start the low level prompt of shhhht'ing them and then escalate it to the removal from area.

They get the idea that they can scream in the pnp or use a good inside voice and play with their peeps.

[AnythingsPossible]

I had one that did this. When she would start, I would "shhhh" sharply and loudly, then "shhh" quieter. It was more getting her attention when she started, using a softer sound and saying quiet.

[dEHmom]

I would do a Cesar Milan on him and shhhttt him with a stink eye face.

I would use words like "you quiet"... shhhht with a hand motion to go with it like your full hand palm forward. If he persists do the same technique but when you shhhttt him go to him and turn his body AWAY from you and walk away.

If he still does it then give him the stink eye... move towards him ... and remove him (walk with him with his face out... his back to your belly) to a pnp and then turn your back and walk away. As soon as he's quiet... go in and without ANY eye contact... pick him up again with his back to your belly and put him right back where he was with his BACK to you... turn quickly to walk away and say "go play".

rinse and repeat.

Loud screetching continuously for long periods of time is a fixation and control move. He's most likely getting a lot of attention for doing it and most likely got a lot of adults laughing at it when he could first do it. It's important to send the message to him that it's not what we do. Everyone else deserves to play and be happy without any "environmental noise terrorism"

This is a common age for it but most kids quit doing it after the get bored with it ... lasts a couple of weeks. I allow it until it becomes them. If it becomes them then I start the low level prompt of shhhht'ing them and then escalate it to the removal from area.

They get the idea that they can scream in the pnp or use a good inside voice and play with their peeps.

This is my method too, and I got a squealer to stop squealing in 1-2 days (can't remember now!)



The biggest thing I learned as a parent (before I started the daycare), is try not to use the word NO. If you have to, or accidentally say it, then you must always follow it with an explanation.

Really works wonders. I would say something more along the lines of "_____ please don't scream, it hurts granny's ears" if they do it again "please don't scream, it hurts everyone's ears, and if you do it again you will have to sit by yourself until you stop screaming" you get the idea. Just something to explain what the consequence will be, and then follow through if necessary.

[Childminder]

I use the crying bowl. Put a large bowl (metal works best) in front of his face when he screams to return the sound to him. Usually only takes 3-4 times to work.

[jen]

Nannyde do you have any advice for a very loud 3 year old (boy). He screams and makes noises ALOT. No matter how many times I remove him from the situatin or give him the "Knock it off or enjoy a come-to-Jesus meeting" he stops for a bit and then starts again. He is LOUD. He is also a toe walker who is constantly running and falling down, regardless of how many times I a) make him return to the starting point and WALK where he is going b) gate off the hallway, which is tiny, like maybe 5 feet and tell him to run in there or c) make him sit where-ever he is at until further notice.


FYI: For the record, there isn't a thing wrong with this kid.

[nannyde]

Nannyde do you have any advice for a very loud 3 year old (boy). He screams and makes noises ALOT. No matter how many times I remove him from the situatin or give him the "Knock it off or enjoy a come-to-Jesus meeting" he stops for a bit and then starts again. He is LOUD. He is also a toe walker who is constantly running and falling down, regardless of how many times I a) make him return to the starting point and WALK where he is going b) gate off the hallway, which is tiny, like maybe 5 feet and tell him to run in there or c) make him sit where-ever he is at until further notice.


FYI: For the record, there isn't a thing wrong with this kid.

I would probably set him up a play area in the five foot hallway (gated on the end that doesn't attach to your room) and have that be his play area when he wants to be loud and run. Have him have his own area. Let him join your area when he's quiet and pop him back in immediately when he's too loud, running, or rule breaking. He needs to learn it's a privledge to BE with the other kids.

Give him really basic toys (infant toys, rags, duplo blocks etc.) in his little space and don't let him hang out on the end that goes into the play room to just sit and stare at the other kids. Have him go play in his own area.

When you do invite him to your area then tell him. This is only for when you can keep your inside voice and your walking on. If you can't then you will go to your hall. Might even put a sign up with his name on it saying "Johnny's place". When he goes into his area make sure he plays for a GOOD amount of time. Don't hurry him back as soon as he is calm for a few minutes. Make it calm for twenty/thirty minutes.

Use the best of what you have (your playroom filled with toys and the other kids) as a PRIVLEDGE not a right. Have him earn his way to the best of the best.

You might want to try back packing him too. This is where you put a back pack on him with a bit of weighted stuff (baby board books would work) in it for him to wear while he plays. It goes on when he's getting jacked up to "weigh him down" a bit. It's a really good tool for a physical reminder of what he's supposed to be doing RIGHT NOW. The backpack stays on until he calms down.

Just no stair climbing with it on... don't want to throw his balance off. Make sure the shoulder harness of the backpack fits snuggly but he has on a good sweatshirt/turtleneck on so it doesn't rub. The other kids need to leave it alone when he's wearing it too.

[mickey2]

I would do a Cesar Milan on him and shhhttt him with a stink eye face.

I would use words like "you quiet"... shhhht with a hand motion to go with it like your full hand palm forward.

Thank you so much Nannyde!
I did this each and every time he screeched yesterday and the screeching seems to be getting less. I won't see him over the weekend but he will be back with granny on Monday. I will continue.


Loud screetching continuously for long periods of time is a fixation and control move. He's most likely getting a lot of attention for doing it and most likely got a lot of adults laughing at it when he could first do it. It's important to send the message to him that it's not what we do. Everyone else deserves to play and be happy without any "environmental noise terrorism"

You are so right about this! He gets a lot of attention and that is why he is doing this! He has gotten attention! He can do it at home if mommy likes but here he can't!

When mommy came to pick up tonight I told her that his screeching NEEDS to stop! I was in the process of changing him as she came in and she came over to stand beside him and he started his screeching.

I did the SHHH quiet!! with my hand, and she said "Oh that is his happy scream!" I told her that he must be REALLY happy here because it was constant. I said that I did not care if it was his happy scream or not it has to stop because I don't like it!


My son hates this screeching as well as me and he does not tolerate it when he is with him. My son has told me to tap him on the mouth and tell him NO screaming but I can't and will not do that.

Thank you for sharing this idea with me I think it is going to work.

[nannyde]

When mommy came to pick up tonight I told her that his screeching NEEDS to stop! I was in the process of changing him as she came in and she came over to stand beside him and he started his screeching.

I did the SHHH quiet!! with my hand, and she said "Oh that is his happy scream!" I told her that he must be REALLY happy here because it was constant. I said that I did not care if it was his happy scream or not it has to stop because I don't like it!


My son hates this screeching as well as me and he does not tolerate it when he is with him. My son has told me to tap him on the mouth and tell him NO screaming but I can't and will not do that.

Thank you for sharing this idea with me I think it is going to work.

The high pitched constant screetching with a happy face looks benign but it's a pre-behavior for hitting, biting, kicking, tantruming. When a child does something this "high level" it only works for them for a while then they need to escalate it to feel the same... to get more reaction... to get a stronger reaction... to get more attention.. to take over more.

Think of stadium behavior. What do people do when they are happy and excited... they clap and say "wooot", then stomp their feet, then stand, and next thing you know someone is getting pushed or punched. It's the same with little kids. Taking it to the next notch up is in our nature.

Quelling this as a pre-behavior... sending the message that we don't like that level of excitement and it DOESN'T work for HIM will save you him going to the next level where he combines his happy screetch with a bite, kick, push etc.

Providers are often misled when behaviors come in a nice package. There is screetching, laughing, and talking behaviors that look sweet on the outer layer but they are rooted in dominance, escalation, and conrol. Nearly all kids sound the same when they are doing it... just a little variation from kid to kid... but it's pretty similiar sounding.

I try to stop it when it STARTS so it doesn't get taken further. I know the difference between screaming and a squeal of delight. I know the difference between a child talking and a child using talking to take over an adult or other kids. I know the difference between a laugh because something is funny and a laugh that is escalating and hyperexcited.

Part of being their leader is teaching them when to stop patterns of escalation that ultimately affect the calm and happiness of others. His happy screaming shouldn't make ANYONE unhappy. See?

[jen]

I would probably set him up a play area in the five foot hallway (gated on the end that doesn't attach to your room) and have that be his play area when he wants to be loud and run. Have him have his own area. Let him join your area when he's quiet and pop him back in immediately when he's too loud, running, or rule breaking. He needs to learn it's a privledge to BE with the other kids.

Give him really basic toys (infant toys, rags, duplo blocks etc.) in his little space and don't let him hang out on the end that goes into the play room to just sit and stare at the other kids. Have him go play in his own area.

When you do invite him to your area then tell him. This is only for when you can keep your inside voice and your walking on. If you can't then you will go to your hall. Might even put a sign up with his name on it saying "Johnny's place". When he goes into his area make sure he plays for a GOOD amount of time. Don't hurry him back as soon as he is calm for a few minutes. Make it calm for twenty/thirty minutes.

Use the best of what you have (your playroom filled with toys and the other kids) as a PRIVLEDGE not a right. Have him earn his way to the best of the best.

You might want to try back packing him too. This is where you put a back pack on him with a bit of weighted stuff (baby board books would work) in it for him to wear while he plays. It goes on when he's getting jacked up to "weigh him down" a bit. It's a really good tool for a physical reminder of what he's supposed to be doing RIGHT NOW. The backpack stays on until he calms down.

Just no stair climbing with it on... don't want to throw his balance off. Make sure the shoulder harness of the backpack fits snuggly but he has on a good sweatshirt/turtleneck on so it doesn't rub. The other kids need to leave it alone when he's wearing it too.

Fabulous! I will give it a shot. When I was reading your other post something really clicked with me...his behavior IS making everyone else unhappy...especially me. It changes the dynamic of the room and he is essentially taking over daycare...VERY much like he rules the roost at home. I feel like he is constantly trying to figure out how he can be in charge HERE. Obviously, I won't allow that, but what I've been doing isn't working so we are stuck in a vicious circle.

This is the 2nd kid I've had in 9 years with control issues and if I'm going to be really honest, I haven't been successful in either case. I ended up terminating the first family and I'd rather not do it in this situation as I really enjoy the parents--the other family, not so much.