Napping and Night Time Sleep

[Unregistered]

I have a family with a 18 month old and a 3 month old. I have had the 18 month old since he was 3 months old. He has always been a very inconsistent napper. Since we have cut down to one nap, some days his naps are 30-45 minutes while other days he naps for 3 1/2 hours. I am very consistent with his naptime routine. He always goes down at 1pm. I always leave him in his pack n play for the full nap time (2 hours) whether or not he is sleeping. Mom and dad always put him down for the night at 6pm even if he has slept the longer nap. I do not understand this at all. On the days he naps longer, he is only awake for about 1 1/2 hours before they put him down for the night. There is no way he can be tired enough to fall asleep right away, but I'm told he does and sleeps for 12-13 hours.
They do the same thing for the 3 month old. I am told that she goes down for the night at 6pm and mom wakes her up at 7:30am. Then mom complains that she doesn't get much awake time with the kids. I have a really hard time believing that the 3 month old sleeps that long at night every night being that young and breastfed. She naps here 3-4 times at 30-45 minutes each. I have talked to them about not needing to put them down so early in the evening, especially on the days when the older one is getting a very good nap. That way they get some extra time with them in the evening since they haven't been with them all day. Those conversations have changed nothing.

[storybookending]

I’m not sure I understand the issue? If the child is actually sleeping the way mom claims then I guess they just need the rest. Mom is perfectly capable of keeping him up longer if she truly wants more time with him. I’m not sure what you could do to change this?

ETA: I just reread and realized it is you telling mom to keep him up longer to spend more time with him not her complaining they sleep too much. ****s for the little ones but I’ve seen posters complaining about parents that do this. You can’t control how they parent but you can control the types of parents you enroll. If this is something that bothers you that much maybe it’s time to move on from the family as their behaviors are probably not going to change. If she’s even telling the complete truth.

[daycarediva]

IMHO- if they are actually sleeping when they're put down they NEED the sleep.

It ****s, but it's part of being a working parent. I have one kiddo who is picked up at 5:30 and in bed at 6:30. Mom doesn't have to be at work until 9, so she does get her up early, and they do spend some morning quality time together.

Are these kiddos in care from 6-6? or is it truly a "being a working mom is hard" situation?

[Ariana]

Sounds like mom puts them down and then puts in her earplugs! Either way not much you can do. Some parents are not interested in being parents. In that 1 1/2 hours she is also making dinner so it is not quality time at all and to me keeping the kids up until 7pm is pretty reasonable but you cannot control what she does.

[Unregistered]

Kids are in care from 7:45 until 4:45-5. She says she wakes baby right before coming here. She changes baby, but says she doesn't have time to feed because she has to get to work. Whereas, I'm thinking if she woke baby earlier, she would have time to change and feed her and have a little time with her.
I guess my thought with 6pm bedtimes, is that it doesn't seem like it is absolutely necessary especially when the oldest is getting a 3+ hour nap here. I have never had a family in care that puts their children to bed so early, so maybe that's why this situation is baffling to me. Mom says kids aren't always showing signs off being tired when they go down for the night, so that is why I have mentioned to try holding off bedtime so that they can spend more time with them. She also has mentioned that on occasion that the older one lays in bed for up to an hour before falling asleep. That tells me he is not tired at 6pm all the time. Mom has also has told me that sometimes on the weekends, they put the kids to bed at 5pm. Again, this is baffling to me because I have never heard of children going to bed this early, so maybe it's just me. She did ask me once too if 6pm was too early for bedtime and I did tell her that I thought yes, that does seem early compared to all others kids I have cared for, current and past as well as when my own children were small.

[Ac114]

Kids are in care from 7:45 until 4:45-5. She says she wakes baby right before coming here. She changes baby, but says she doesn't have time to feed because she has to get to work. Whereas, I'm thinking if she woke baby earlier, she would have time to change and feed her and have a little time with her.
I guess my thought with 6pm bedtimes, is that it doesn't seem like it is absolutely necessary especially when the oldest is getting a 3+ hour nap here. I have never had a family in care that puts their children to bed so early, so maybe that's why this situation is baffling to me. Mom says kids aren't always showing signs off being tired when they go down for the night, so that is why I have mentioned to try holding off bedtime so that they can spend more time with them. She also has mentioned that on occasion that the older one lays in bed for up to an hour before falling asleep. That tells me he is not tired at 6pm all the time. Mom has also has told me that sometimes on the weekends, they put the kids to bed at 5pm. Again, this is baffling to me because I have never heard of children going to bed this early, so maybe it's just me. She did ask me once too if 6pm was too early for bedtime and I did tell her that I thought yes, that does seem early compared to all others kids I have cared for, current and past as well as when my own children were small.

This baffles me as well. If he is laying awake for up to an hour before he falls asleep then she is being lazy and just laying him down to have “me” time. And 5pm bed time on the weekend is nuts. Her actions and her words don’t align and I don’t think she truly wants to spend time with them or she would keep them up a little longer.

[amberrose3dg]

Kids are in care from 7:45 until 4:45-5. She says she wakes baby right before coming here. She changes baby, but says she doesn't have time to feed because she has to get to work. Whereas, I'm thinking if she woke baby earlier, she would have time to change and feed her and have a little time with her.
I guess my thought with 6pm bedtimes, is that it doesn't seem like it is absolutely necessary especially when the oldest is getting a 3+ hour nap here. I have never had a family in care that puts their children to bed so early, so maybe that's why this situation is baffling to me. Mom says kids aren't always showing signs off being tired when they go down for the night, so that is why I have mentioned to try holding off bedtime so that they can spend more time with them. She also has mentioned that on occasion that the older one lays in bed for up to an hour before falling asleep. That tells me he is not tired at 6pm all the time. Mom has also has told me that sometimes on the weekends, they put the kids to bed at 5pm. Again, this is baffling to me because I have never heard of children going to bed this early, so maybe it's just me. She did ask me once too if 6pm was too early for bedtime and I did tell her that I thought yes, that does seem early compared to all others kids I have cared for, current and past as well as when my own children were small.

Something is NOT right here. How does a 3 month old breastfed baby sleep all night until 730 and then she doesn't even nurse her when she gets up in the morning. She also sleeps 12 or 13 hours straight?I have family that puts their kids to bed super early but the baby gets up to nurse every few hours. I do not see how two kids go to bed that early and sleep that long every night.I be that baby is starving when she gets to your house.

[Blackcat31]

Something is NOT right here. How does a 3 month old breastfed baby sleep all night until 730 and then she doesn't even nurse her when she gets up in the morning. She also sleeps 12 or 13 hours straight?I have family that puts their kids to bed super early but the baby gets up to nurse every few hours. I do not see how two kids go to bed that early and sleep that long every night.I be that baby is starving when she gets to your house.

My first thought was that mom co-sleeps and baby stays in a semi-nursing state the whole night.

[Ariana]

My first thought was that mom co-sleeps and baby stays in a semi-nursing state the whole night.

I sincerely hope so!