Terminating a Client for One That Pays More?

[Jenspenc]

I have a friend of 13 yrs that desperately needed me to watch her child because she was getting a divorce. She was a stay at home mom and had to find a job quickly and because of that, she couldnt pay my asking rates and is also paying me late because she cant afford to catch up on late and pre-pay. I have the opportunity to take on a full time, full paying client but I am full Is it wrong to terminate my friend somehow so I can make more money? How would I make this happen in the nicest possible way?

[Josiegirl]

Is your friend able to collect child support or state financial subsidy to help with dc costs? How much more money would you be making? I think I'd see if your friend could start paying on time, then increase her rates a little bit at a time. It all depends on your friendship and everything else. I know this is job and business as everyone says but a lot of us have done favors now and then. You just have to be extra careful about being taken advantage of by offering anything. You've already been very helpful so if you'd like to tell her you have a chance to take on a full paying client to help you pay your bills. Then the ball would be in her court to offer to pay full rate. If she's a true friend, she should understand and be grateful of the help you've already given her.
Just some thoughts. Another would be is there anything she/you could barter to make up the difference?

[Jenspenc]

We’re not super close but I am a ****er for helping where I can! Her husband and her are paying week by week and switching off between each other. They have agreed to stay legally married so she can benefit from his insurances and he pays some of her bills in place of paying child support. So her costs for DC should be $125 per week and she is only paying me $80. But another frustrating factor is she keeps switching her days around and adding and taking days away depending on what family members she has available to watch her kids. So I’m essentially paid a per day cost ($20) instead of my weekly rates. She’s now giving me two weeks notice that she will be coming one less day for the summer months and I will only be getting $60 a week. With this new client I could make double 😬. At this point I see dollar signs and consistency! I respect her and want to help but this one is tough! You make an excellent point on being honest with her and explaining I have an opportunity to take on a full paying client and letting her make the decision of either paying full or finding another option of care! Thank you!

[amberrose3dg]

We’re not super close but I am a ****er for helping where I can! Her husband and her are paying week by week and switching off between each other. They have agreed to stay legally married so she can benefit from his insurances and he pays some of her bills in place of paying child support. So her costs for DC should be $125 per week and she is only paying me $80. But another frustrating factor is she keeps switching her days around and adding and taking days away depending on what family members she has available to watch her kids. So I’m essentially paid a per day cost ($20) instead of my weekly rates. She’s now giving me two weeks notice that she will be coming one less day for the summer months and I will only be getting $60 a week. With this new client I could make double 😬. At this point I see dollar signs and consistency! I respect her and want to help but this one is tough! You make an excellent point on being honest with her and explaining I have an opportunity to take on a full paying client and letting her make the decision of either paying full or finding another option of care! Thank you!

Nope! give her notice. Sorry but she can find someone else. If she has floater days let her figure it out. Sounds like she is kind of using you.

[Josiegirl]

I think, given the added info, I'd come right out and tell her the time has come that you need her spot to be a full time full paying spot so you can meet your financial needs as well. If she's interested in maintaining her spot on those terms great but otherwise, you have to give her 2 week(or whatever your standard length)notice.
Good luck! I've always wanted to lend a hand too(and you've certainly done that!)but after taking away from my own needs for far too long, I've gotten a bit less lending.

[storybookending]

I would for sure be telling her that while you were glad that you could help out for awhile that she has XX amount of time to secure new care as you have a full time client coming in and that it is a business decision. You said you aren’t that close anyways so if she lets it affect what friendship you do have then she wasn’t a friend to begin with anyways. A true friend would be greatful for the months that you did help.

[MyAngels]

I've done the friends and family things a couple of times over the years, but I always go in with the understanding that I'll be losing money and I've been okay with that. I've only done it when I'm in a financial position to be able to.

This arrangement is costing you potentially $3,380 per year (the difference between $60 and $125/week) plus the aggravation of late payments and inconsistent income.

If you want to continue the relationship and are not okay with losing money I would simply tell her that she will need to catch up on back payments and going forward her rate will be $________. If she's not able to do that, tell her you completely understand and wish her well in her search for a new provider.

[Jenspenc]

Thank you!! These are all so helpful and relieving to see!

[Blackcat31]

Business is business.
You can feel bad about anyone's situation but feeling bad is an emotion not an action and if your friend were truly a friend, she'd be busting her butt to pay you on time every time since you extended the same type of behavior to her in her time of need.

Real friends recognize and respect the fact that any "discount" or "favor" you do for them is valuable.

Each time you allow her to pay late or not pay on time, you are basically discounting your self-worth.

I never let any feelings or emotions I have sway my business practices as I too have a family to provide for.

If you want to continue offering services to this friend do so but require her to follow policies like everyone else (including the right rate) and if not, then terminate care and feel good that you helped her along the way.

Consistent income in a timely manner trumps friendship in business every single time.

[BrynleeJean]

Personal Choice id say.

one the one hand i have a brother in law that is a contractor that does so much for us, so many jobs without asking anything in return. we aren't strapped he just uses the ability he has to help us out because he feels that right.
I've though about if it came to me returning that favor and watching his three children
i would if i had the space AND wasn't strapped for cash even to say id turn full time families away if they needed me for some reason for an amount of time, and would have to have a talk about the urgent need to the money when it came to it and why taking a family over them would be necessary in the future or whatever

on the other hand
my mother when she was young was the woman just divorces with a young child (me) and needed cheap childcare and used a family friend (my step dads good friend stepdad didnt help with childcare) and the home daycare provider gave her a good deal. she was doing gov assistance and all this stuff. it went on for a year or so and my mom told me like after a year she was surprised and almost upset to hear that the provider was going to raise her to regular rate but looking back it obviously makes sense to her, she said she just got used to the rate and she was very popular and full all the time and was very lucky to get that rate for all long as she did.
so she could have burnt a bridge if she termed but honestly depending on how good of friends you guys are id think you could talk about your need for the FT rate for your family and how your friends should be pretty understanding if not at first then soon.

[lovemykidstoo]

We’re not super close but I am a ****er for helping where I can! Her husband and her are paying week by week and switching off between each other. They have agreed to stay legally married so she can benefit from his insurances and he pays some of her bills in place of paying child support. So her costs for DC should be $125 per week and she is only paying me $80. But another frustrating factor is she keeps switching her days around and adding and taking days away depending on what family members she has available to watch her kids. So I’m essentially paid a per day cost ($20) instead of my weekly rates. She’s now giving me two weeks notice that she will be coming one less day for the summer months and I will only be getting $60 a week. With this new client I could make double ��. At this point I see dollar signs and consistency! I respect her and want to help but this one is tough! You make an excellent point on being honest with her and explaining I have an opportunity to take on a full paying client and letting her make the decision of either paying full or finding another option of care! Thank you!

Right there is your golden opportunity. Since she brought up a different scenario of coming 1 less day, now is your time to say, no that won't work for me. Take that opportunity and run with it. You are sacrificing your paycheck to make her happy. Is she doing the same? Nope. Take the full time client, this friend will drop you like a hot potato if she could have more money in her pocket, so why shouldn't you have more money in your pcoket. Full time over $60 a week? Easy choice!

[Unregistered]

Feels to me like this "friend" is taking advantage of you, and doesn't understand that the childcare is also your job.

[Ariana]

There is “helping” and then there is bending over backwards and throwing yourself under the bus. This arrangement was very nice of you to offer her but the time is up and she needs to get her crap together. She is working now and is not actually divorced. She is benefitting in so many ways (staying legally married to get insurance?) and taking advantage of you.

[Denali]

We’re not super close but I am a ****er for helping where I can! Her husband and her are paying week by week and switching off between each other. They have agreed to stay legally married so she can benefit from his insurances and he pays some of her bills in place of paying child support. So her costs for DC should be $125 per week and she is only paying me $80. But another frustrating factor is she keeps switching her days around and adding and taking days away depending on what family members she has available to watch her kids. So I’m essentially paid a per day cost ($20) instead of my weekly rates. She’s now giving me two weeks notice that she will be coming one less day for the summer months and I will only be getting $60 a week. With this new client I could make double ��. At this point I see dollar signs and consistency! I respect her and want to help but this one is tough! You make an excellent point on being honest with her and explaining I have an opportunity to take on a full paying client and letting her make the decision of either paying full or finding another option of care! Thank you!

If dad is helping with ‘other bills’ to not pay child support then he needs to chip in on daycare. That is part of child support. The kids his also right? �� they can both split the cost. Like any other separated family. And it shouldn’t be to hard on their pocket book since now they are BOTH working.

$125 split by two is $62.50 each. ��

It makes no sense that they can’t pay your asking rate other then they don’t won’t to. Dad is saving on having to pay his share of daycare while mom gets cheap daycare. if they are not going to divorce so they can continue on with some of the perks of being married, but now mom is working.... sounds like you are getting the short end of the stick.