Lack of Attachment to DCK’s

[Annalee]

In the past, I took everything to heart and worked too much on emotion....not anymore.....have learned too many lessons the hard way! At the end of the day, this is a business.....I think about them when they are gone as much as they think about me::

[Ariana]

I think that is pretty normal! I care about my daycare kids but since I have my own children I can’t really love them or get attached to them. They are sweet and fun and I care a great deal about them but am rarely sad to see them go. I think keeping that distance is a way to maintain emotional health.

[Unregistered]

I logged out for privacy as well! Thanks so much for posting this! I have wondered the same thing so many times and have thought "maybe this job isn't for me?" Even though I like my job... Just can't attach myself to kids that aren't my own, aside from my niece... Whom I consider "mine" kwim?

My 3 year old is attached to the other kids very much. She's sad when 1 leaves and that is hard to watch. Sometimes she prays at bedtime and always includes those kids.

I also am glad I don't have those "love" feelings in a way because I don't want to feel upset every time a kid leaves.

[e.j.]

I get attached to some kids more than others. (I still have a voicemail message from years ago that one of those kids left one day after kindergarten saying, "We had our first French Toast sticks at school today and yours are better!" that I just can't even think about erasing! He's in high school now. ) I feel sad when it's time for them to move on but then there are others I can't wait to wave goodbye to!

[CityGarden]

I am a new provider only a year in... I have 6 dcks.

2 dcks I will not miss at all once they leave. I am counting down the days.

2 dcks I would miss briefly as I adjust and will love seeing them on occasion at the park, farmer's market, etc. or following how they grow over time on FB, etc.

2 dcks I am not so sure about - I enjoy them while they are here but I feel indifferent to the idea of them leaving.

I don't think of any of them on the weekend and do not miss them when they are sick.

[LK5kids]

I've always liked my DCK's a lot.....but never have been emotionally attached.

[Sunchimes]

I thought I was super attached to my first dck, but once she left, it was easier than expected. I have one now that I am completely bonded to. She had severe health issues at birth and came to me 2 weeks post NICU. I fought for that child. She is fine now, but when you have a child like that, you, (or at least in this case,) have to cross lines with the family. Mom says we co-parented her. We are considered grandparents and part of the family now. We love the entire family. Mom and I both tear up when we talk about her heading off to Pre-K this fall. But, we will be able to see her on weekends and maybe school vacations, just as real grandparents. It won't be as good as seeing her every day, but kids grow up. I don't expect to have this bond with another child, but thankfully, it is a small town, so I can count on running into them now and then.

[flying_babyb]

Good post.
My current group are nice kids but i'm not attached. One kid from my group who moved up "lukie pookie" will always hold a spot in my heart. He was a horrible kid in my room, made me cry a few times, but with presistance has become one of the best kids Ive had. There was another little girl I had for 3 weeks, and I actually tracked down her grandma on facebook to see how she is! She was special needs, and I was told she would not learn, talk or be potty trained. I had her talking (a few words), potty trained (even at nap) and able to point to 4 colors when I named them by the time she left.

Other than that, Nope, I dont get attached.

[daycarediva]

With a few exceptions (one dc family of 3 girls I've had for 12 years), I've had to "turn off the attachment gene".
Early in my career I became emotionally attached to nearly every kiddo and when they left it was devastating! My heart could not take the continued loss of kiddos.

So now I really enjoy my kiddos, we laugh, hug and play together but I keep most of my heart out of it. So no I don't miss them after work or when on vacation and it's easier to let them move on when they age out.

This. Detach. The kids would NEVER be able to tell my actual feelings. If you ask them who my favorite is, they all think it's them.