2 Year Old Won’t Sleep

[mandy2552]

Hi all-

I’m hoping someone has some tips for me. I have a new 2 year old. She’s been here almost 1 month. She does fine with drops/pickups and during the day. However, naptime is very difficult. At home she is nursed to sleep and cosleeps. Mom says when Grandma takes care of her they just rock her and let her sleep in her arms. Obviously it’s not going well here. She screams on her cot! We did try rocking here the past few weeks and she just wakes up at transfer no matter how long we rock her. Suggestions? I feel bad for her as she has no idea how to self soothe and she’s tired.

Thank you!

[Blackcat31]

My only suggestion is to give the issue back to the parents.

You can't expect her to do something completely opposite at daycare than what she is taught at home.

Its one thing when the parent stops nursing and/or rocking to sleep during the first year of life but as old as she is, the sleep routine she is used to is simply what she expects.

I don't mean to be harsh but your odds of changing her behavior are pretty slim. IF the parents however change their behavior and routine at home the child may have a chance to adjust in care.

[mandy2552]

Thanks Blackcat.

I agree. Any suggestion on how to approach to the parent about this?

[Jamie]

I actually disagree. I ask parents how they sleep at home, what they eat etc., but I actually don't really care, and I truly think that the less I know about it the better.
I am not their mom, and this is not their home. Their sleep routine is different, their food is different, the toys are different, I probably react different to different things. They have no problem with that.

I currently have a DCG who co sleeps at home, a DCB who gets bottles at home, and two DCBs who sleep outside in prams (common in Denmark) at home. They all sleep on my cots here, with my blankets and my pillows. In the dark, with white noise, and nobody gets up before the two hour mark.
I do my thing, the parents do theirs, and the kids adjust.

[Play Care]

I actually disagree. I ask parents how they sleep at home, what they eat etc., but I actually don't really care, and I truly think that the less I know about it the better.
I am not their mom, and this is not their home. Their sleep routine is different, their food is different, the toys are different, I probably react different to different things. They have no problem with that.

I currently have a DCG who co sleeps at home, a DCB who gets bottles at home, and two DCBs who sleep outside in prams (common in Denmark) at home. They all sleep on my cots here, with my blankets and my pillows. In the dark, with white noise, and nobody gets up before the two hour mark.
I do my thing, the parents do theirs, and the kids adjust.

I agree. I also don't ask the parents to problem solve issues at my home (unless it's aggression and then its only because I don't want them to be shocked when I kick them out of day care) I find when you bring it up to the parents they will find a way to make it your "fault"
If I can't get the child to adjust to our schedule then they are not a good fit and are moved on.

[rosieteddy]

I had a few children like this over the years.I had good luck with music playing.I would set the tv to music(instrumental)it played a little loud.That way if phone rang or someone woke I could usually keep everyone asleep.I also fed infants in the darkened room,even ate my lunch or read my kindle.I would have loved to do something else but me being there seemed to keep them on cots till time to get up.In special cases either tucked them in (we used sleeping bags)light stretchy blanket over bag,or the". magic blanket".That was a folded quilt,sometimes they just needed to stop keeping themselves awake.After they fell asleep i would gently loosen the cover or take the blanket away.It usually worked like a charm.

[boy_mom]

I agree with both points of view. Ultimately, my home was different from their homes and 90% of the children adapted to the new environment fairly quickly. Some took a few additional weeks to adjust, others just werent a good fit.

I don't worry myself about what goes on in the family home, because it's almost always different from group care.

However, I would not let the parents' parenting style and choices become my problem. I would call for pick up when there is excessive crying that disrupts the flow of the day. From there parents can decide if it's worth adjusting behaviors at home on their own. On my end, I would just stay consistent each day for her and watch for small improvements or let her go if it seems that it's not working out.

[Blackcat31]

I actually disagree. I ask parents how they sleep at home, what they eat etc., but I actually don't really care, and I truly think that the less I know about it the better.
I am not their mom, and this is not their home. Their sleep routine is different, their food is different, the toys are different, I probably react different to different things. They have no problem with that.

I currently have a DCG who co sleeps at home, a DCB who gets bottles at home, and two DCBs who sleep outside in prams (common in Denmark) at home. They all sleep on my cots here, with my blankets and my pillows. In the dark, with white noise, and nobody gets up before the two hour mark.
I do my thing, the parents do theirs, and the kids adjust.

I agree with this for younger children but not older kids.
If this child was 18 months etc...adjusting to a different routine is usually painless but this child is 2 yrs old AND new to this daycare.

I am normally in the camp of you do your thing, I'll do mine too but not in situations like this. That's almost impossible when the child is rocked AND held by more than one caregiver. I suppose if you (general you/caregiver) want to do the work, it's possible but I am personally so over trying to undo what parents have done.

It's stressful for the child, the other children and the caregiver and it's simply unfair. The longer I do this job the more I realize that I shouldn't HAVE to fix other people's bad habits...if they can't, won't or don't see the issue I can't work with them.
Plain and simple.

So yes, I do agree with the idea that home routines don't have to impact daycare routines but I just don't see that as the case when the child is this old and getting it (routine) from more than one caregiver.

I'd be interested in how the parents parent in general. If they are "no-cry", child rules the house type parents...If they are, I honestly wouldn't even be willing to try. *sigh* I'm so over fixing this type of thing.