Great, just great, face scratch story

[lovemykidstoo]

So yesterday my 2 yr old dcg scratched my dcb 3 yr olds face and a little on his neck. Yup, it was ugly, yes I separated them then for the entire day and now she will be my shadow. . The boys try to take things from her sometimes and she grabs them and squeezes and this is the result. The dcb did not cry at all, everything was fine except for the marks left behind. Unfortunately, this is like the 3rd time this has happened to him by this girl. I texted mom a picture right away and she said she knows things happen and for me not to get upset and that they will talk to him about sharing too etc. Then last night she texted me about a couple of non-daycare stuff. Everything was fine. . This morning she calls me and says he's not coming today that when she said they were going to my house he got really upset and she just couldn't bring him today. She wasn't going to "force" him to come, so grandma is coming today. She also says that he has a scratch by his eye and his eye is a little swollen so he may have to go to the dr. I didn't see any by his eye. I'll attach a picture. She said that she told him that he has to go back to my house tomorrow. He's a 4 day a weeker and I love this family and him. Any ideas on what I can do? I've told her that I'm going to keep them separate and make her go where I go for awhile, but man if he does come back and it happens again, they'll be done for sure. What do you guys think? I pray they come back. Any ideas on what I should do at this point?

[MomBoss]

I had this same problem. This little girls nails were always long and when she scratched, it looked horrible. The victims mom would get really upset and all i could really do is tell her i would talk to the childs parents and that she scratches because he takes her toy away. I would tell the scratchers parents that they must keep her nails cut or she would have to wear gloves.

[lovemykidstoo]

I had this same problem. This little girls nails were always long and when she scratched, it looked horrible. The victims mom would get really upset and all i could really do is tell her i would talk to the childs parents and that she scratches because he takes her toy away. I would tell the scratchers parents that they must keep her nails cut or she would have to wear gloves.

I'm really worried that they're going to pull him. She said hahaha no way! I would keep you forever if I could. So I'm hoping it was just a bad morning and he'll be back tomorrow. She is wearing mittens right now I put them on yesterday after it happened and have been watching her like a hawk! So how did your situation turn out? Did they keep the nails cut short? Did she still try to scratch?

[MomBoss]

I'm really worried that they're going to pull him. She said hahaha no way! I would keep you forever if I could. So I'm hoping it was just a bad morning and he'll be back tomorrow. She is wearing mittens right now I put them on yesterday after it happened and have been watching her like a hawk! So how did your situation turn out? Did they keep the nails cut short? Did she still try to scratch?

They didnt always keep them cut and every time she scratched i would make her parents feel bad for it by telling them that the mom of dcb was really upset. It annoyed me that they knew she was scratching but didnt make sure her nails were cut before daycare. Eventually as she got older, she didnt scratch anymore but i ended up terming the dcb victim because mom was just too much to handle for other things. She made a big deal about everything and i felt she would be a liability some day.
Tell this childs parents they need to make sure their nails are cut before daycare because they have been injuring other children and you cant have that.

[Blackcat31]

I'm really worried that they're going to pull him. She said hahaha no way! I would keep you forever if I could. So I'm hoping it was just a bad morning and he'll be back tomorrow. She is wearing mittens right now I put them on yesterday after it happened and have been watching her like a hawk! So how did your situation turn out? Did they keep the nails cut short? Did she still try to scratch?

Did you talk to the DCG's parents?
Were her nails too long? Did the parents clip them?

I'm curious about what the aggressors parents said/did/reacted to this?

[lovemykidstoo]

Did you talk to the DCG's parents?
Were her nails too long? Did the parents clip them?

I'm curious about what the aggressors parents said/did/reacted to this?

I texted her parents right away too and sent them a pic. They were both very upset about it and said that sometimes she gets upset at home with them and like grabs them with her hand. Kinda like a palm pinch if that makes sense, but she's never sunk her nails in, but that they would trim her nails and put her in time out if she grabs them at home like that.

[Blackcat31]

I texted her parents right away too and sent them a pic. They were both very upset about it and said that sometimes she gets upset at home with them and like grabs them with her hand. Kinda like a palm pinch if that makes sense, but she's never sunk her nails in, but that they would trim her nails and put her in time out if she grabs them at home like that.

This is the 3rd time though.....I'm surprised the parents aren't all over it and making sure her nails are trimmed super short. Sending her to time out isn't a solution for her. It's a punishment and most kids don't learn via punishment.

She needs to be taught a more appropriate way of asking for toys or communicating her needs. That is what I was wonder in regards to her parents.

How does she ask for things at home? Is she simply given what she wants, when she wants it?

I know she is only 2 but I just couldn't accept a response like that from a parent... time out is okay for older kids but I find it completely useless when the child isn't taught an alternative to the unwanted behaviors.

Time out should be a punishment for when kids KNOW better but are still making bad choices.

[lovemykidstoo]

This is the 3rd time though.....I'm surprised the parents aren't all over it and making sure her nails are trimmed super short. Sending her to time out isn't a solution for her. It's a punishment and most kids don't learn via punishment.

She needs to be taught a more appropriate way of asking for toys or communicating her needs. That is what I was wonder in regards to her parents.

How does she ask for things at home? Is she simply given what she wants, when she wants it?

I know she is only 2 but I just couldn't accept a response like that from a parent... time out is okay for older kids but I find it completely useless when the child isn't taught an alternative to the unwanted behaviors.

Time out should be a punishment for when kids KNOW better but are still making bad choices.

He did say that they would talk to her and when she did that to them at home address it verbally to her, but did add about timeout. I am not a fan of timeout personally.

these kids I have right now are constantly just walking up and grabbing things from other kids. After he was scratched yesterday, he was hitting her in the head with a stuffed animal. I'm like what the hell! Did you not learn the first time? It's like the person that is 2nd to react gets the ax . He probably was taking something from her and she nailed him. As much as I try, I cannot see every little thing that happens.

[Blackcat31]

He did say that they would talk to her and when she did that to them at home address it verbally to her, but did add about timeout. I am not a fan of timeout personally.

these kids I have right now are constantly just walking up and grabbing things from other kids. After he was scratched yesterday, he was hitting her in the head with a stuffed animal. I'm like what the hell! Did you not learn the first time? It's like the person that is 2nd to react gets the ax . He probably was taking something from her and she nailed him. As much as I try, I cannot see every little thing that happens.

Totally understand that....these kids now days are hard.

It just bothers me that parents usually reply with some type of bottled or generic excuse for the behavior but rarely do any of them take a premptive approach or an active response other than "They don't act that way at home" or "We'll keep an eye out and put them in time out if we see anything"......all of which translates to "sounds like it's YOUR problem not mine" and that bothers me because something as simple as this situation can create massive issue with the provider....

For example, any time a child is injured in care here and they see a Dr, I have to submit a written report to licensing and what happens afterwards can sometimes be a big deal all the while the family has just gone along their merry way having NO clue the impact physical aggression situations an cause for the child care provider.

*sigh*....we (as providers) just can't win sometimes.

[lovemykidstoo]

Totally understand that....these kids now days are hard.

It just bothers me that parents usually reply with some type of bottled or generic excuse for the behavior but rarely do any of them take a premptive approach or an active response other than "They don't act that way at home" or "We'll keep an eye out and put them in time out if we see anything"......all of which translates to "sounds like it's YOUR problem not mine" and that bothers me because something as simple as this situation can create massive issue with the provider....

For example, any time a child is injured in care here and they see a Dr, I have to submit a written report to licensing and what happens afterwards can sometimes be a big deal all the while the family has just gone along their merry way having NO clue the impact physical aggression situations an cause for the child care provider.

*sigh*....we (as providers) just can't win sometimes.

I just received a text from the dcg's mom that did the scratching and she feels terrible and wants to know what she can do. She wants to know if she shoudl call the other mother. She said this kind of behavior will be watched for at home and halted. So I am glad that she seems to be taking it seriously. I texted the mom of the "victim" this morning about 11 and told her again that I was sorry and what steps I was going to take to "try" to prevent this again and she has not texted me back yet. Last night she was fine and like I said was texting about non-related things. So now that junior had a fit about coming here this morning the world has changed? I told her he didn't even cry when it happened. I am beyond irritated and worried about this.

[rosieteddy]

When my group started getting more physical I changed up our day.I gave less free time.I planned table activities on arrival .We took a longer walk 3 times a day.Once the child turned 2 they held onto the stroller.It passed after a couple of months .It makes us as providers feel bad when children lash out.Good luck.

[lovemykidstoo]

When my group started getting more physical I changed up our day.I gave less free time.I planned table activities on arrival .We took a longer walk 3 times a day.Once the child turned 2 they held onto the stroller.It passed after a couple of months .It makes us as providers feel bad when children lash out.Good luck.

That's a great idea. I'm going to be doing more coloring at the table, sensory bins etc. It's still snowing here in Michigan, so outside has been limited. Its supposed to be in the 50's tomorrow, so we can get outside too. I think that has alot to do with it too.

[lovemykidstoo]

I finally after almost 8 hours received a text back from the mother of the "victim" saying that she hopes I don't think she's a bit** but she is just frustrated that it always seems to be the 1 child that is the one doing all the damage. I totally understand her frustration, I do, but I do think she's making it more than it needs to be. I mean, they're 2 and 3 years old. I told her how I would try to be more diligent and she said she understands I cannot stop every thing 100%, that's impossible. She's not really upset with me, but rather the other child. God help me if this happens again, I will never see them again. Nothing like walking on eggshells.

[momofboys]

Why won't you term the scratcher? Three times is two times too many! I do understand that she is two but I also wouldn't want my child in an atmosphere where he/she was being scratched by the same person.

[lovemykidstoo]

Why won't you term the scratcher? Three times is two times too many! I do understand that she is two but I also wouldn't want my child in an atmosphere where he/she was being scratched by the same person.

Not that I want to stick up for a scratcher, but he does have a tendency to egg her on. He has pushed her down, hit her in the head with a stuffed animal etc. The lasts time she did that, she was playing with something and he went up and started to yank her toy from her. She grabbed him and pinched/scratched. That's been almost 10 months ago since the last time. If I term her, I'd have to term him too. Just because it doesn't leave a mark, doesn't make his behavior any better.