Tweet
So I've wrote about this child in the past about how she refuses to talk to me or at least answer questions I ask to just her. She will participate and sing songs but when I talk to just her she won't look at me or respond or even show that she even understands what I'm saying. She will talk and yell once her mom and dad comes to get her or when they drop her off but she just refuses to show any attachment to me at all. I have watched her for almost 2 years now. She very rarely smiles but will play with the other kids at times. She just seems to not enjoy being in my presence but never cries at drop off and never wants to leave at night. Has anyone ever had a child seem to not enjoy daycare but doesn't communicate it to their parents etc? I'm just puzzled at her behavior.
-
-
Yes She is content throughout the day. Her mom says it take her a long time to warm up to immediate family too that she doesn't see much but she will also talk to strangers too mom said. She interacts more with my kids grandpa when he visits than she ever has with me.Comment
-
Is she COMPLETELY silent with you? Select mutism comes to mind.Comment
-
No. At group time she will sing along with everyone and say all the colors and shapes when I ask the group. Or even just if I ask her what color it is she will respond. But if I ask her anything else I get a blank stare. She's finally to the point where she will tell me she's done eating or eants more etc. But typically it's when I walk away. She will be 2 in May so i get it she's young yet but from what it sounds like at home and what I've heard her say to mom and dad she isn't incapable of responding or communicating. It's more one on one that makes her uncomfortable.Comment
-
There is a difference though between being shy and having ongoing social anxiety.
Is she more open during times when music, dancing, physical activity is going on. Also doe she respond differently in group vs. alone on projects or simple activities?
Is she a social butterfly when you are not looking and free play happens?
Does mom have anything to say or issue with it?Comment
-
All great questions! She is very talkative when I'm not watching her. She will read books, sing, and laugh and giggle with her friends. As soon as I acknowledge her she gets serious and just freezes. I have had her alone and she is the same. She didn't talk to me the entire day she was here by herself. I have brought up the not talking to mom and dad and they said they are still trying to figure her out. They assume she's shy. It's not a shyness issue I don't think. I just don't know if she doesn't like me or my house or if there is other issues I need to address. She doesn't respond differently of I'm around. If its just her and the other kids She talks all the time.Comment
-
Since the child isn’t even two yet I would not be concerned. My cousin didn’t talk, to anyone, until he was 3.Comment
-
As long as she is not upset I would try to not let it bother you.Who knows at 2 what she is thinking.If she eats ,plays sleeps ect be happy.I would much rather have that than crying all day.Comment
-
I believe I responded in your other thread but this is selective mutism. It is an anxiety around adults. I wouldn’t let it bother me but if it does maybe you could think about reaplcing. As long as she is happy, social and seems content I wouldn’t worry. A friend of mine had a child like this.Comment
-
Thanks everyone! She talked to me and answered a question I asked her when her mom was there to pick her up so I know She is able to and understands. She is generally happy throughout the day (emotionless most of the time but not crying) and she eats and sleeps. I guess I will just not worry about it and not let it bother me but it just makes me think it's something I've done that makes her anxious around me. Thanks for the suggestions and opinions everyone!Comment
-
I took her and my Other dck to the mall today to play and do a storytime event they had there. She was not at all shy there. Happy, running around, talking to me etc. Mom yesterday told me that she is super shy. Would a super shy kid be totally fine running around and not know where her caregiver is? She was playing just fine with the kids she didn't know too. Even her voice changes when she is with me at my house than other places. I get it she is young, but she talks in sentences at home. I just don't buy thrbwhole shy card at allComment
-
My own daughter was very much like this at that age, probably worse. There has always been a small circle of people she is willing to show her "real" personality to. Almost 10 years old now, and she is still that way, only difference is her circle is just a little bit bigger.
We thought at first it was an "always home with mom" problem. So we enrolled her in preschool program. She went and loved it...but did not talk the entire time she was there. We started her in gymnastics at four. Same thing! By first grade, we had her working with a school counselor. I was at a loss, teachers were at a loss. They started rewarding her for talking with a sticker chart, one sticker per word. Once filled, she relieved extra play time. I was not keen on this idea, but I allowed it. It got her going at the absolute bare minimum. And I mean minimum. I'll never forget the day she filled up a 10 squared chart in one day, it was a big deal!
I however believe it was her love for gymnastics that got her functioning. She eventually worked her way up onto the competitive team. To do that, there were many many instances where she had to push through that social anxiety.
Just the other day two older girls (one my daughter knows) walked passed her telling her hi. She very quietly and uncomfortably said hi back. It did not go unnoticed, and I overheard one older girl explain to the other that my daughter is "just socially awkward." On another occasion, she gave a hug to Coach E who she has been working with for a few months. Coach D, who has worked with my daughter since age 4, was completely shocked, and while laughing wanted to know why he never got a hug.
Social anxiety, selective mutism, or just shy.. I still couldn't tell you. I guess my point is that as long as it's not debilitating and she is happy, it doesn't much matter. I know for my daughter there seems to be no rhyme or reason as to why she is more comfortable with some people over others. That connection is just naturally there or it isn't. That might be the case for this child you speak of and while it might be hard, I'd try not to take it personally. She just might not be able to help it.Comment
Comment