In the Refrigerator

[mamamanda]

Infant dcg usually naps during breakfast time. Today I'd just got kids sat at the table to serve their breakfast when dcg woke up early. I told them to sit still while I grabbed the baby. I had not served the food yet. I literally walked into the nap room to pick up the baby & walked back to find dcb 2.5 in the refrigerator with a package of lunch meat in hand. He said, "I want this."

I told him making the food is my job & he is not to get in the refrigerator, but I was kinda shocked by it. He's my nephew & he spends a lot of time here, but I don't even let my own kids go through the fridge. Lol I asked permission to get something out of my refrigerator at home until I was 15 or so. Is that more normal for kids to help themselves than I realize?

This precious boy definitely attempts to exert his control at every turn. I have to stay on my toes.

[Pestle]

Geez; when you said "in the refrigerator" I thought you meant somebody was suffocating in there. Which is the reason licensing won't allow them access to the kitchen.

Or that someone had slain your paramour and you were gearing up to go on a quest for vengeance.

Yes, it's normal for toddlers with developing life skills to push those skills to the limit. Many families also encourage their children to develop self-sufficiency by teaching them to get out their own food, set their own place at the table, etc. I knew a family that didn't allow their kids to get out their own food. One day, one of the kids was hungry, opened the fridge, and ate the last of a bag of coconut flakes. So the mom framed the bag and hung it on his wall so he'd never forget what he did wrong. It was still on the wall when he was in high school.

Her kids have not been successful as adults.

[LysesKids]

Geez; when you said "in the refrigerator" I thought you meant somebody was suffocating in there. Which is the reason licensing won't allow them access to the kitchen.

Or that someone had slain your paramour and you were gearing up to go on a quest for vengeance.

Yes, it's normal for toddlers with developing life skills to push those skills to the limit. Many families also encourage their children to develop self-sufficiency by teaching them to get out their own food, set their own place at the table, etc. I knew a family that didn't allow their kids to get out their own food. One day, one of the kids was hungry, opened the fridge, and ate the last of a bag of coconut flakes. So the mom framed the bag and hung it on his wall so he'd never forget what he did wrong. It was still on the wall when he was in high school.

Her kids have not been successful as adults.

Yep, my young toddlers can get out their own plates & spoons/forks because of where I have them set... I also keep a small table out where I set a their sippies & they all know cups of water sit there unless being drunk from.

[hwichlaz]

My own kids have always been welcome in the fridge. One of the drawers is their snack drawer. It has baggies of cut up fruit, veggies, string cheese etc. in it. Because of this....I don’t have to get up early on my days off. They have been getting up and feeding themselves since about 3 years old. They’d eat first, then come wake me up.

[mamamanda]

Geez; when you said "in the refrigerator" I thought you meant somebody was suffocating in there. Which is the reason licensing won't allow them access to the kitchen.

Or that someone had slain your paramour and you were gearing up to go on a quest for vengeance.

Yes, it's normal for toddlers with developing life skills to push those skills to the limit. Many families also encourage their children to develop self-sufficiency by teaching them to get out their own food, set their own place at the table, etc. I knew a family that didn't allow their kids to get out their own food. One day, one of the kids was hungry, opened the fridge, and ate the last of a bag of coconut flakes. So the mom framed the bag and hung it on his wall so he'd never forget what he did wrong. It was still on the wall when he was in high school.

Her kids have not been successful as adults.

Well that leads me to a couple questions...
I am legally unlicensed, but I do take classes & work with our local childcare resource center. I attempt to follow licensing regs as much as possible, but sometimes I am unclear on things. Our kitchen is gated off unless we're using it. However, in this situation the kids were already at the table so how would you be expected to respond when the baby cried? Should I have taken the kids with me, or should the baby not have been in the nap room while other kids are up? I'm genuinely curious how that should be handled.

Also, I definitely encourage independence. My kids help with chores around the house, dress themselves, help care for pets, even help me in the kitchen. I just don't allow them to go through the refrigerator mostly b/c I'm on a tight budget & meals are planned out in advance. If they eat what I need for the next day's meal then I feel stuck. Also I don't want them snacking between meals or they fill up on snacks & won't eat their meal.

[mamamanda]

My own kids have always been welcome in the fridge. One of the drawers is their snack drawer. It has baggies of cut up fruit, veggies, string cheese etc. in it. Because of this....I don’t have to get up early on my days off. They have been getting up and feeding themselves since about 3 years old. They’d eat first, then come wake me up.

I did try the special snack drawer temporarily, but my oldest is 6 & my others are all 3 & under so it was a lot more mess & stress than it was worth. And the 6 yo would open the gate to get his snack & let the toddlers into the kitchen which was a big mess every time.

I'll have to rethink that once the little ones get older. Also, it seemed normal to me b/c that wasn't a freedom I had growing up. Now I'm trying to rethink that & I'm guessing it was b/c we honestly had very little money. My mom was probably trying to ration. ::

[Blackcat31]

In all the years I've done this job and all the kids I've had over those years, I've only had 2 or 3 that wanted to help themselves to the refrigerator.

But quickly redirected and the urge to help themselves was curbed within a day or two.

However, in your situation since you now know your kiddos might not mind you and remain seated once you are out of eye sight, I'd just carry my baby monitor with me when I left the room. I have a video baby monitor that has a handheld receiver that I can use as a portable monitoring device. It has audio too so I can talk through it....

My kiddos don't normally have access to the kitchen so once they are seated at the table, they do NOT get down. They seem to know part of eating is remaining seated and like another of today's topics/threads (throwing food) my rules are usually if you get down, you are done so you leave the kitchen area so if I stepped out of the kitchen for a second, I fully expect my kiddos to remain seated...even if they don't have food in front of them yet.

[Jupadia]

My own kids can grab a snack when they ask. We are only beginning to teach this to the 5 year old and the 2 year old is to young yet. But the 5 year old only can do this in non daycare hours. During daycare hours food is only available at meal times. As well my daycare kitchen is behind a gate the eating area is in the daycare room. The upstairs kitchen is gated off a lot of the time as well since while there are no chemicals or Sharp things in the drawer and cupords I don't have locks on them upstairs. (Just the downstairs kitchen cubordds stove and fridge).

[MomBoss]

My own kids have to ask before going into the fridge or cupboards. I dont really like kids touching food and dont want them to drop anything so I usually get it for them. I also dont want then to just eat anything and whenever they want because some things i may need for a recipe or I may find they are not hungry for dinner because they went snacking in the fridge.
My daycare kids dont have access to the kitchen so I dont have any problems there, i actually have a really good group of kids that respect boundries. They never go anywhere or touch anything, other than the ordinary, without asking.

[Homebody]

Happened to me on 2 different occasions, with a 7 year old and a 5 year old on their first day. They didn't like what I had to offer for snack, and immediately went to the fridge to see if I had anything better. I was in shock when it happened. I don't allow the kids in my kitchen anymore except to get a drink because of this.

[Pestle]

Our kitchen is gated off unless we're using it. However, in this situation the kids were already at the table so how would you be expected to respond when the baby cried? Should I have taken the kids with me, or should the baby not have been in the nap room while other kids are up? I'm genuinely curious how that should be handled.

So are the kids fed inside the kitchen? Is that why they can't be gated out of it?

I know the situation seems impossible--how do you provide safe oversight of children in a dangerous space and also attend to a child outside of that space. In your situation, I would have let the baby cry for a little while if I knew they were safe inside a crib, but there are other situations so I think the only all-purpose answer is to change the environment by relocating where the kids are fed.

I do everything I can to avoid leaving children unattended while eating. It only takes a moment for an airway to get obstructed. My changing area is in the back corner of my playroom and doesn't have line of sight to the dining room. I have been known to change an extra-yucky diaper in a corner of the living room where I can still see the kids who are eating in the dining room.

[Pestle]

If it's a big, eat-in kitchen with a breakfast nook, putting a play yard gate around the kids' area will at least slow them down and draw a visual barrier.

[homeishere]

I have a child lock on the fridge. I have an open floor plan so no way to gate of the kitchen area. The fridge stays locked during Daycare hours and and then unlocked during evenings/weekends.

[daycarediva]

My own kids had to ask for snacks between meals, but if given permission, are able to help themselves.

DC kids? Oh heck no. My entire supply of groceries would be gone in 2 days and nobody would eat meals- only snack.

I have a baby lock on it, but most can open it. They don't, but I have had almost all of them try to.

[mamamanda]

It is an eat in kitchen, but very small. The table is against the wall & there is a walkway between the table & cabinets on 2 other sides with high chairs on the fourth wall. I definitely don't see a way to gate around it for them. No dining room. We have a living room & family room, but both have newish carpet & my husband is pretty firm about no food out of the kitchen b/c of that. This particular boy just graduated from a booster with straps so he may have to go back. The baby usually sleeps & it's never been an issue before b/c I'm always right with them during mealtimes & it's gated otherwise.

I feel like this little guy finds every potential loop hole in our environment. I should probably thank him for that. Some providers pay big money to have professionals come in & find their weak spots, right?