What Has Changed?

[Blackcat31]

Basically what I'm saying is every generation has good and bad qualities, and things that make them unique. Overall people are still people though, and we all still have the same feelings and instincts that make us human.

I agree with a bit of what you said in your entire post but I don't necessarily agree with this. ^^

People are still people but people have become self-centered, selfish and oblivious to others in the world now days.

It's all about "me".

Individual feelings, thoughts, actions and self-declared "rights" etc...... people seem to only care about what is important to them.

Empathy and understanding for everyone is no longer a subject even discussed or heard. It's only about what YOU (general you) want, need and like. period.

A previous poster mentioned kids being in trouble at school and being more fearful of the consequence or punishment their parent would impose on them than they were of any school rules. Now days the parent will storm into the school and make accusations that the school is treat their snowflake unfairly. Doesn't matter what Snowflake did/didn't do...

Another previous poster mentioned kids respecting all adults....if I went to any house in my neighborhood growing up, I knew all the adults were "in charge" and they would all hold me to the same basic set of standards. If I did something wrong, I could bet my allowance they would have called my parent and told them long before I could make it home.

Another thing mentioned was the focus on self-esteem... I don't think I even knew what that was until middle school. My parents nor any other adult in my life never gave a second thought about my self-esteem. That type of thing wasn't an issue until families started to deteriorate and adults started being more concerned about themselves than those around them or even in the same household.


I do agree that technology has had an impact on society but I don't believe that technology is the lead in the water so to speak but I definitely think it made non-parenting easier. It provides the children something to do while the parent can get back to focusing on themselves.

[Snowmom]

How cool would a parental bonding time fit bit type watch be? When they spend time doing fun projects, going for a swim, taking a walk or tossing a ball around with their own kids they get feedback points that can be instantly shared to their social media accounts for "high five" validation. Each time they check social media, take a call or answer an email during that time they lose points. As the social validation climbs, time spent with their own kids climb. Parents competing with each other for the most high fives until kids start asking for their own "me" time.

Million dollar idea!
Being a responsible parent might actually become trendy again.

[Homebody]

I agree with some of what you said Homebody. But I think back to when I was in school and teachers weren't limited in how they disciplined the kids. Chewing gum in class meant you had to wear that gum on your nose for the day. Can you imagine if that happened nowadays? Students caught wreaking havoc on buses walked, plain and simple. It became the parents' problem to get them to school. I remember in 4th grade the teacher had a ruler by the door to remind us we had to behave respectfully or a slap of the ruler across the knuckles would happen. And watching her do it to the same 2 guilty kids kept the rest of us in line.
Chewing gum in class? Talking out of turn? Running in the halls? Putting your hands on another child, as in playing with a friend? Those were the common discipline problems of yesteryear. Look at the common problems of today's classrooms?? There is a huge difference there. Discipline has become a negative word. In the past 10-20 years I can only remember a handful of parents who were not afraid to speak up to the children to let them know who is the real boss at home. Everybody else has been trying to do the real conversations of discussion, how do you think so-and-so feels, what else can we do differently, let's talk it over with our friends, etc., etc. Sometimes that IS the thing to do but many 2-3 yos do NOT have the attention span or processing to take that all in. What exactly is wrong with saying 'because I'm the adult and I say so'. There should be no wiggle room for manipulation from a child that young. Instead of telling a 2-3 yo they shouldn't pull hair because it hurts, parents go into this whole long spiel about why. Kids shut them out.
Plus kids don't seem to be taught manners anymore. And that can go a long way towards respecting others. Home lives have changed. Parents don't hold back their fighting, their language, their behavior in front of little impressionable kids. Anything goes. They talk about everything in front of kids. They watch everything on TV in front of their kids. Kids absorb and everybody becomes insensitive to what used to be horrifying in our lives.

I agree that some people especially teachers are afraid to discipline anymore, as far as parents go it just depends on the parents. I remember children who acted out and got paddled in class. Did it correct their behavior? No it didn't. I had one set parents in their early 20's who admitted to spanking their almost 2 year old. He was one of the kids who I had behavior problems with. And yes talking it out with a 2-3 year old doesn't work. I'm old school in that when dealing with really young children like that I don't try to reason with them because there's no point, they don't understand. I just tell them this is how it is and how its done. As fas as the anything goes, and talking openly in front of kids, and watching anything on TV in front of them, well that went on when I was growing up too. At least in the circle I grew up in. My cousins and friends, we were exposed to things we shouldn't of been. I'm not saying we don't have problems today. I'm just saying things weren't perfect in the so called good ole days too. I've also been to plenty of family reunions where my nieces and nephews, who only see each other once a year, will sit in the living room together and be on their smart phones not saying anything to each other. The problems we have now are different with how technology and government over reach has taken over. But I don't think all children and parents have problems. Whether talking about today or way back when, there's always the bad apples that seems to influence how everyone sees the world. Everything isn't all good, but everything isn't all bad. Every generation has its challenges.

[Annalee]

I agree with a bit of what you said in your entire post but I don't necessarily agree with this. ^^

People are still people but people have become self-centered, selfish and oblivious to others in the world now days.

It's all about "me".

Individual feelings, thoughts, actions and self-declared "rights" etc...... people seem to only care about what is important to them.

Empathy and understanding for everyone is no longer a subject even discussed or heard. It's only about what YOU (general you) want, need and like. period.

A previous poster mentioned kids being in trouble at school and being more fearful of the consequence or punishment their parent would impose on them than they were of any school rules. Now days the parent will storm into the school and make accusations that the school is treat their snowflake unfairly. Doesn't matter what Snowflake did/didn't do...

Another previous poster mentioned kids respecting all adults....if I went to any house in my neighborhood growing up, I knew all the adults were "in charge" and they would all hold me to the same basic set of standards. If I did something wrong, I could bet my allowance they would have called my parent and told them long before I could make it home.

Another thing mentioned was the focus on self-esteem... I don't think I even knew what that was until middle school. My parents nor any other adult in my life never gave a second thought about my self-esteem. That type of thing wasn't an issue until families started to deteriorate and adults started being more concerned about themselves than those around them or even in the same household.


I do agree that technology has had an impact on society but I don't believe that technology is the lead in the water so to speak but I definitely think it made non-parenting easier. It provides the children something to do while the parent can get back to focusing on themselves.

[Homebody]

People are still people but people have become self-centered, selfish and oblivious to others in the world now days.

It's all about "me".

Individual feelings, thoughts, actions and self-declared "rights" etc...... people seem to only care about what is important to them.

Empathy and understanding for everyone is no longer a subject even discussed or heard. It's only about what YOU (general you) want, need and like. period.

This is where I disagree. Yes, there are alot of people out there like this, but not everyone. This is where I think people are only seeing what they want to see. Yes, I see a lot of self-centered and selfish people, but I also see alot of giving, loving, and caring people too. What is bothering me is that when everyone is talking about "How everyone is today" we are putting everyone in the same group, and saying everyone today is like this - selfish, self-centered, can't discipline, unconnected, etc. But everyone is not like this, just some. At least this is how I see things in my little corner of the world. I still have some hope.

[Blackcat31]

This is where I disagree. Yes, there are alot of people out there like this, but not everyone. This is where I think people are only seeing what they want to see. Yes, I see a lot of self-centered and selfish people, but I also see alot of giving, loving, and caring people too. What is bothering me is that when everyone is talking about "How everyone is today" we are putting everyone in the same group, and saying everyone today is like this - selfish, self-centered, can't discipline, unconnected, etc. But everyone is not like this, just some. At least this is how I see things in my little corner of the world. I still have some hope.

When those that ARE like I described in my previous post are the majority that is when we (as a society) have a problem.

I am not talking about specific generations...I didn't take this thread as being about specific generations at all but more about society and parenting in general.

There are good and bad people in every group type. But it used to be that those that were self-centered and egocentric were the minority or the odd ducks but when the majority of those within a societal group become self-centered and egocentric, where does that leave those that are helpful, kind and empathetic? It leaves them in the minority. That sets the stage for a pretty unstable future when it comes to raising children.

So yes, I guess sometimes everyone gets painted with the same broad brush or the same set of ideas and while it isn't always 100% accurate, it's just the way it is sometimes...and those that truly feel they don't feel they fit into that description usually rise to the top and still do for others as they were taught/raised because it's the right thing to do. NOT because others will applaud them for it.

Just like daycare providers....parents will usually paint us all with the same broad brush but those of us that don't fit that description just keep doing what we do because it's the right thing to do.

Integrity. It's a rare trait now.

Mostly because there is no button for it....

[Homebody]

When those that ARE like I described in my previous post are the majority that is when we (as a society) have a problem.

I am not talking about specific generations...I didn't take this thread as being about specific generations at all but more about society and parenting in general.

There are good and bad people in every group type. But it used to be that those that were self-centered and egocentric were the minority or the odd ducks but when the majority of those within a societal group become self-centered and egocentric, where does that leave those that are helpful, kind and empathetic? It leaves them in the minority. That sets the stage for a pretty unstable future when it comes to raising children.

So yes, I guess sometimes everyone gets painted with the same broad brush or the same set of ideas and while it isn't always 100% accurate, it's just the way it is sometimes...and those that truly feel they don't feel they fit into that description usually rise to the top and still do for others as they were taught/raised because it's the right thing to do. NOT because others will applaud them for it.

Just like daycare providers....parents will usually paint us all with the same broad brush but those of us that don't fit that description just keep doing what we do because it's the right thing to do.

Integrity. It's a rare trait now.

Mostly because there is no button for it....

True, and I get what you are saying. Sometimes I think that certain areas of this country are worse or better than others in regards to this. I mean you can see after a natural disaster occurs, or even a big win for a local team like the Super Bowl or World Series in how different communities react. Some will join together in a peaceful manner, and others will be nothing but chaos. In my area we do have what has become the norm for a lot of cities with drive by shootings and violence, but when our baseball team won the World Series a couple years ago there was no looting or ransacking local businesses. Almost a million people joined together in downtown KC for the parade and celebration. Only 3 were arrested for non violent crimes out of all those people. It was a wonderful feeling seeing all these people celebrating peacefully. I'm sorry if I have gotten way off track here from what the OP had asked, but I just wonder if the differences we all have in our opinions on people in general may have to do with how things are in our local communities?

[Blackcat31]

I just wonder if the differences we all have in our opinions on people in general may have to do with how things are in our local communities?

Excellent point!!! We can only make judgements and form opinions according to the knowledge and/or experiences we have. I absolutely agree that is a huge influence!

[nanglgrl]

1. Parents are busy. They both need to work to provide and don’t get a lot of time off after baby is born. I feel like this has left people a little out of touch with their child. In some it also causes a guilt that they can’t address because there is no solution or the solution is being broke.
2. Upward mobility. So many people don’t live close to family so they don’t get the wisdom you get when being around children. They also don’t get the wisdom of elders. They feel lost so they go online and search up every reason their quiet and easy 1 month old is suddenly crying or up more at night. They need a reason and a solution..it can’t just be because children constantly change. They get all of the advice from mommy boards (women who range from trying to compete, to trying to judge to having no idea themselves), and people trying to sell books which isn’t all that helpful.
3. They feel lost. They try to forge friendships and feel better about how lost they feel as parents by being labeled (breastfeeding moms, cloth diapers, essential oils, no milk, baby wearers, etc...not saying any are bad..did them all myself..just talking about the extreme groups). This group makes them feel better because they feel part of a mommy community but meeting the standards adds more stress.
4. They’re out of touch with their child, get a lot of advice from people with an agenda, have little to no knowledge of early childhood development and hear constantly about how Daycare is expensive and how quality care matters. This leads to the “I’m the boss Parent” (Who thinks they pay you so much), the “where are the worksheets?” parent, the “my 13 month old is ready for underwear” Parent, etc.
5. Many are out of touch with child development and their child so parenting is more difficult. Plus they’re exhausted and they don’t want to be “mean” when they only have a little time between Daycare and bedtime to bond. Because it’s so hard, harder than they expected, they need more free time just to function.
6. There is so much additional stress now. Between the constant fear of unemployment, major illness, scaring their child for life by saying no and keeping up with the Jonses they’re one step away from cracking so as prividers we have to tiptoe around difficult situations with their child.
7. The experience and wisdom of a long-term childcare provider isn’t valued as much. I think this stems from a lot of parents having a slight feeling of being taken advantage of (because childcare is so expensive), higher education (the Parent thinking they are smarter than a provider with their degree in any other field except ECE, even if the provider holds a degree in ECE).

This is just my area. College educated, middle to upper class parents. Full of clique parenting groups and interesting ideas about children and childcare. They’re all trying their best, they love their children and want the best for them but come Monday morning they all get here right at drop off (whereas by Friday there are always some I’m waiting and wondering if they’re coming). They usually look frazzled at drop off and they hand their child off to me so quickly! Most of my clients do ask for and listen to my advice but it takes a lot more convincing than it used to.

[nanglgrl]

8. To add to all that parents don’t feel capable. Quality early childhood experiences? How can they provide that? Their degree is in business. It seems to complex because of all of the advice these days. They don’t realize that everything about it is just blown up to make another degree path and make colleges more money while trying to make early childhood educators be seen as professionals. It’s quite the conundrum and I’m currently earning my BS in ECE. I’m constantly saying to myself..so this person is famous because they stated an obvious observance about children?

[Unregistered]

Besides government involvement and care becoming a synonym for education the biggest change is who runs the household and makes the rules.

It used to be the tallest people in the household, the ones allowed to carry a wallet but now it seems the shortest members or loudest members of the household are the ones in charge. ::

This is exactly the problem. The kiddos that have come through my care the past 10-15 years are in charge at home. It all makes me cringe.