What Has Changed?

[Farmerswife]

To you long time providers...what has changed the most over the years? In regards to parents/kids, not licensing, etc.

I have not been in the business long, but I sent my kids to daycare 20 years ago. I did not question naps, lunch, what they did during the day, where they went, etc. Have things changed or was I just a hands off parent?

[Ac114]

I think some parents just have a control issue. My kids were on daycare up until a year ago. The only questions I had were a. We’re the well behaved b. Did they eat well c.if they napped well. It helped me gauge how our evening was going and if I knew they didn’t nap well then I could expect certain behaviors. I never questioned how long nap time was, where they slept, how long they slept, what was fed to them or if they didn’t like what was served to serve them something else. Figured it was their house, their rules.

[Blackcat31]

Besides government involvement and care becoming a synonym for education the biggest change is who runs the household and makes the rules.

It used to be the tallest people in the household, the ones allowed to carry a wallet but now it seems the shortest members or loudest members of the household are the ones in charge. ::

[Baby Beluga]

I'm not a long term veteran provider, but have been working with children for about 11.5 years. The biggest change I have seen is the increasing laziness of parents.

Parents are no longer okay seeing their child be upset from their poor choice. Parents are no longer okay putting their foot down and saying NO. Parents now bribe for everything and even if the bribe wasn't "deserved," the child still receives the treat from the parent. Kids are smart. They know their parents don't mean what they say.

[Miss A]

Parenting in general has changed, and not for the better.

It used to be that parents made rules, expected certain behavior from their children, and commanded respect. But now the world has shifted to view relaxed parenting as the norm. More and more I am seeing parents who let the children make the rules, or parents giving into every little whim of the child because it is easier for the parent.

Of my 3 daycare families, not one has a child that sleeps in their own bed. Family meals at the table become a plate of food on the coffee table and a child allowed to roam and graze. It's the small things that snowball into the big things, that then create bad habits in the household, and children who feel they are entitled to anything they want because mom and dad allow it at home.

[MrsJ]

Besides government involvement and care becoming a synonym for education the biggest change is who runs the household and makes the rules.

It used to be the tallest people in the household, the ones allowed to carry a wallet but now it seems the shortest members or loudest members of the household are the ones in charge. ::

Totally agree! :: Drop off and pick up has changed. During pickup what used to take 2 minutes now takes 15.
Transitions are harder and sometimes days seem longer for these kids. I think this goes along with differing parenting styles and finding the right way to mesh day with evening.

During interviews parents used to ask me if I offer curriculum & activities but during care didn't really mind if I did or didn't. Nowadays I don't get the question at all. I think it's just expected.

I do think asking more questions is a result of us feeling like we really have to in order to keep them safe anywhere and also because.. internet. More opportunity to research and find more questions. My door used to stay unlocked but not anymore.

[MrsJ]

I did not question naps, lunch, what they did during the day, where they went, etc. Have things changed or was I just a hands off parent?

Me either and I think that's a good thing.

[Farmerswife]

The crazy thing is, is I can see the "cut off line". Parents in their late 30's/40's seem to parent more like I do and the younger 30's on down are the more "difficult" parents.

I asked my 20 year old daughter about how she will parent some day and she said "as much as I listen to you complain, my kids will not be in control of me!":: Her poor kids are going to walk the line! ::

[Blackcat31]

The crazy thing is, is I can see the "cut off line". Parents in their late 30's/40's seem to parent more like I do and the younger 30's on down are the more "difficult" parents.

I asked my 20 year old daughter about how she will parent some day and she said "as much as I listen to you complain, my kids will not be in control of me!":: Her poor kids are going to walk the line! ::

I see the opposite.... those parents I have that are in their 30ies/40ies seem to be all about appeasing their child and (over) explaining everything.... no cry parents.....~why you can't slam the door in someone's face doesn't require a 12 minute discussion down at the child's eye level while speaking gently and calmly (as child completely stops listening at the 1:12 minute mark ).

Those parents that are a bit younger (20ies/some early 30ies) are giving me hope that the pendulum is swinging in the opposite direction.

The two toughest, most no-nonsense parents/families I have in care are both about 24 to 26 yrs of age. They are firm, direct and no nonsense type of parents yet are caring, loving and have very well behaved and well adjusted children.

My 30-40 yr old parents are carrying their 4 and 5 yr olds in and undressing them completely while child just stands there and does nothing. The biggest issue I have with the children of that type of parenting is the child is constantly questioning why they have to do X, Y or Z or get upset because the choice they want isn't an option. Many require their adult to entertain them 24/7.

The common tie with those children is that none of them seem to understand why life isn't fair since they were clearly taught that life is suppose to be equal and fair for all. Despite the fact that none of them want to work for any of it. They simply sit back and wait for others to supply whatever it is they need at the moment.

FWIW~ I am not painting all parents in any age group with one brush...I am speaking generally and based on my observations over the last few decades.

[Cat Herder]

IMO, the parents who spend the least amount of time parenting their kids seem to have the most unreasonable expectations of their child's caregivers. I believe the more hours a child spends emotionally detached from their parents (whether in daycare or strapped in some device/glued to some screen while their parent is tuned out) are, and will continue to be, the ones with the most behavioral issues.

I think that has stayed consistent over the years. Kids have not changed, parents have not changed. Society's expectations of parents have changed. They are no longer viewed as capable of raising children without intervention. That is new. Parents should be offended by the over reach, but I am not seeing that reaction at all. Many seem relieved of duty.

[Country Kids]

I have been in business since 1997.

What has changed since then in the business part-What is required of us, having to prove ourselves, having to have lengthy contracts, handbooks, degrees, needing to do things I have not been trained in and try to show the state/government that in home childcares are important.

What has changed since then in parenting-technology, parents working way longer hours, parents not keeping children home if they are off, parents not picking up early if they are off early, being overwhelmed more, needing more "me" time, more "behaverial issues, children that won't eat unless fast food, the break down of family time, no respect for rules, children being raised in child care, children with no respect for adults, the almighty dollar is very important, the overall breakdown of family.

I could go on and on but that is what I'm seeing as what has changed in the childcare would since 1997.

[Blackcat31]

. Society's expectations of parents have changed.

Parents should be offended by the over reach, but I am not seeing that reaction at all.

Many seem relieved of duty.

ALL of that is so true.

The relief is almost "heard" in their collective sighs during drop off, especially on Monday mornings.

I agree with the expectations of society as well but I see issues more with society's acceptance of certain things verses just societal expectations....and yet today's society is probably the most judgmental.
Hmm.... those two forces alone create problems as they work from opposite ends of the thought process.

Society's expectations + society's judgment = lose-lose situation for parents no matter what they do.

Translated: let others do it for me (avoiding judgement) only to be judged for not doing anything.

Oh what wicked cycle....

[Country Kids]

Consumerism has changed also!

I grew up with Saturday morning cartoons on the one concole tv we had that you had to walk across the floor to change channels.
I grew up with the Sears Christmas Catalog ear marked with my dreams for Christmas.
Christmas displays set up the day before Thanksgiving and shopping started the day after.
There was an emphasis still on Thanksgiving.

My children grew up with more cartoons and where parents weren't present, divorced parents, shipped off to boarding schools, etc.
Not a big tv but had a remote to change the channels. We had two tv's also.
My kids grew up with more commercials showing for toys for Christmas.
Christmas was set up right after around the beginning of November and shopping started soon after.
Thanksgiving is now becoming a holiday of the past because more focus on Christmas.



Children now have some sort of technology constantly whether a tv in every room, a tablet, IPad, phone, or the dvd player in the car. They either have to have a show or some sort of game to play.
Toys are still there but with so much technology do kids really play with them still?
Christmas I swear is now set up in July/August and you better get to shopping. At the same time though, lets watch small businesses go out of business because you can now order online.
Whats Thanksgiving-all the stores are open because you have to get the best deal for Christmas.

Holidays are being taken taken out of schools, yet from October-April there are holidays to worry about and you better make sure you spend $$$$$$$ on all of them.

Now that Christmas is gone-your money needs to go to Valentines Day, St. Patricks Day, Easter and way off in the distance Halloween will be here before you know it! Oh, all the while start saving or buying for Christmas because its only xxx number of days away.

So not necessarily change in childcare but all this does make an impact on the families enrolled in our child cares.

[Annalee]

From that littlest child in the house......I wanna talk about me, wanna talk about my, wanna talk about number one oh my me my.....Yep just like the song by Toby Keith, these kids are all about them....parents have created selfish little robots that notice nothing but themselves and what they want, when they want it and how they want ....and providers too many times start over every single day. In the past, It was easier to separate home and daycare rules but kids don't seem as adapt to that anymore.....always about them with the blank stares like "you mean me, do it now".....drives me nuts some days!::

[Josiegirl]

Kids had a healthy appreciation, respect and maybe just a little bit of fear for authority figures. So they listened much more than today and I feel because of that, all hell's broke loose. Parents were more apt to follow through with threatened consequences. Now that hardly ever happens. Or parents speak before thinking and offer threats they know they cannot follow through with. Loss of all credibility happens then. Kids actually listened to their parents way back when. But kids still felt as if they mattered; discipline may have been handed out with a heavier hand but kids weren't juggled around between 100 different caregivers or babysitters just so parents could get their ME time which turns into free time for every single little thing. Why don't kids accompany parents to the store anymore?
Kids are screaming for attention and in doing so, are given very temporary solutions, a quick fix for the moment but it doesn't fix the problem of no time for a child that a parent chose to have.:confused: