Don't Trust My Daughter's Daycare Center

[storybookending]

One of my daycare kids (3) went home and told her mom another daycare mom was having a baby because she overheard me and that mom talking about her hoping to try for another this Spring. 3 year olds mom is the hairstylist of the other mom and had her in her chair last night, had to ask her if it was true. We all had a good laugh about it. Kids get things messed up. It’s what they do.

[happymom]

I have to admit I didn't read every comment here but when your child tells you something that is concerning to you, DON'T brush it off just because she is 3. I don't want to scare you....it's probably nothing. But don't discount her stories because she's 3 and could be confused.

My child was in a program that from the outside looked like a wonderful program. The owner was a beautiful mother, it appeared the children were being fed healthy foods, playing outside. My son went to her for more than 3 years.

My son ALWAYS would tell me that he ate "nothing" or "just crackers" when he was at her house. I talked to the daycare provider about it, of course, she assured me that she was feeding the kids on a weekly plan and provided me an example. Sometimes she would send a pic of my child eating "real food" to "prove" that she fed him.

Then we caught her. It was discovered that she was LEAVING children alone. Taking naps in the middle of the day. Illegally transporting children (no child restraints and without parent permission). And yeah, PROBABLY feeding the kids JUST crackers. Everyone pulled, and she does't have a daycare anymore...I will never be 100% sure about the cracker thing, but my 22lb (extremely underweight) 3 year old became a 29lb 4 year old after leaving her care.

[MissAnn]

I have a kid who might go home and tell mom and dad that I didn’t give her ranch dressing. I work too fast plopping food on plates.....and very often one gets missed. Could not have happened with the cupcakes? Most kids will certainly speak up...after all, it’s a cupcake! If your child doesn’t, maybe that’s something to work on.

[daycarediva]

I have to admit I didn't read every comment here but when your child tells you something that is concerning to you, DON'T brush it off just because she is 3. I don't want to scare you....it's probably nothing. But don't discount her stories because she's 3 and could be confused.

My child was in a program that from the outside looked like a wonderful program. The owner was a beautiful mother, it appeared the children were being fed healthy foods, playing outside. My son went to her for more than 3 years.

My son ALWAYS would tell me that he ate "nothing" or "just crackers" when he was at her house. I talked to the daycare provider about it, of course, she assured me that she was feeding the kids on a weekly plan and provided me an example. Sometimes she would send a pic of my child eating "real food" to "prove" that she fed him.

Then we caught her. It was discovered that she was LEAVING children alone. Taking naps in the middle of the day. Illegally transporting children (no child restraints and without parent permission). And yeah, PROBABLY feeding the kids JUST crackers. Everyone pulled, and she does't have a daycare anymore...I will never be 100% sure about the cracker thing, but my 22lb (extremely underweight) 3 year old became a 29lb 4 year old after leaving her care.

I'm with you, as a parent and a provider. I ENCOURAGE parents to POP IN. I also use photo documentation DAILY of meals, potty, activities so that there is NO miscommunication between here/home that I AM doing what I say.

My heart breaks for you and your son. I remember when you first told us about this.

[happymom]

I'm with you, as a parent and a provider. I ENCOURAGE parents to POP IN. I also use photo documentation DAILY of meals, potty, activities so that there is NO miscommunication between here/home that I AM doing what I say.

My heart breaks for you and your son. I remember when you first told us about this.

Thank you. It's funny I never saw the red flags, I feel like I was sooooooooo blind because I trusted her so much. I had zero reason not to, after all, if I didn't trust her why would I leave my child with her? But I did. I trust her through and through, questioning it would mean that I was willingly leaving him with someone I didn't trust. ALL OF US trusted her, until we didn't. I like to share my story, not to scare people, but so they can ask questions.

Honestly I am more upset about the relationships that we lost. I truly loved the provider that was doing this, and I still question how she did it. I know she loved my son. My son and her daughter were best best friends. All that is gone now.

Watch for the signs. If it's really over a cupcake, it could be an honest mistake, maybe she was in the bathroom when they passed out cupcakes and the lunch lady didn't know. There could have been a reason for it, as everyone has pointed out-- perhaps there wasn't enough cupcakes because she was still there after her normal pick up time, or they knew you'd be there any minute and didn't want you to pick up a super messy kid. OR, there could be something else going on. Ask the provider questions, ask your daughter questions.

Ask yourself why you don't trust them. Is it really over a cupcake? Is there another reason?

[Baby Beluga]

I'm curious and awaiting for the OP to update us on how she handled this.

[Meeko]

Kids see things so differently.

Child gets pulled from daycare after Jimmy tells his mother that Miss Provider hit Bertie really hard and made him cry. Sounded awful and mom pulled straight away without even asking the provider what happened.

She found out later that Bertie had been choking on his food and the provider saved his life. Always ask.

[e.j.]

Kids see things so differently.

Child gets pulled from daycare after Jimmy tells his mother that Miss Provider hit Bertie really hard and made him cry. Sounded awful and mom pulled straight away without even asking the provider what happened.

She found out later that Bertie had been choking on his food and the provider saved his life. Always ask.

Yup. It's important to ask. I had a 3 year old who told me to stop hitting his baby sister. I had just finished feeding her and was burping her. Patting her back apparently looked to him like I was hitting her.

Regardless of what happened, if after talking to the teachers involved you still don't feel as though you can trust them, I'd say go with your gut and pull her. You'll sleep better at night.

[Unregistered]

I trust red flags. Obviously if you Fear for your child being at this place - and don’t feel better after speaking with the staff- pull her.

The two incidents you describe could be nothing but in combination with her wetting herself since starting there, Id pull my child personally -, at least if potty training were long established. Children have few ways to let us know what’s going on when we aren’t there.

Even verbal children often can’t really let us know exact situations. Wetting themselves is often a sign of stress and again - in combination with your Red flag feelings personally I’d pull if my child didn’t “have” to be there especially.

I’ve worked at enough daycare centers to know that there are a certain number of insensitive, apathetic and sometimes downright abusive care givers out there.
Trust your instincts.
Also as far as your child saying “only boys get cupcakes” - to me that sounds like something one or two of the little boys could have said to her as a taunt/tease, regardless of if other little girls were eating cupcakes right next to them.
Sometimes kids refuse treats because they are pouting or feeling off for whatever reason though. Just a thought.