Parents Secretly Recorded Me, Threatening To Report

[nannyde]

Have you figured out how they did it? Were they aware you were going to use time out before you did it? If they didn't that would be proof they actually did record you.

I don't know what state you are in. In Iowa it is illegal to do this BUT there is a clause in the law that allows it if a parent feels a child is in danger.

I think that is more designed for court ordered visitation rather than daycare. Possibly it is there to protect parents who send their children on busses or school. I don't know how it would fly with daycare because if the parents were fearing for their child's safety they shouldn't be taking them to the daycare period. It isn't required to send your child to daycare and they have the choice of other daycare's.

I think this is going to become VERY common. I would be thinking back on the entire day... every phone call ... every interaction with my family or staff... and thinking of everything they now have recorded.

Time out for a one year old... well that depends on how one. A new one year old ... nah but one closing in on two... maybe. I don't find it particularly effective the way the recommendations are now with a minute per age.

[happymom]

They are gutsy!

I was upset when I was told that my 1 year old was being put in time out. I personally did not feel it was appropriate at his level of development at the time.

Never in my life could I imagine doing this though. WOW!! I hope this pans out in your favor, this is extremely unfair (and seems very trivial, like something that could have been worked out with the client)...............

[Michael]

Have you figured out how they did it?

Most likely a toy that that they brought in that records or monitors.

https://www.google.com/amp/amp.wsbtv.com/news/2-investigates/is-your-childs-toy-spying-on-you/522108976

[Alwaysgreener]

Any update?

I agree with nanny and Michael. Document everything that happened that day, including all items that came in that day.
Then file a police report.

[Mom2Two]

I would get an email confirmation that they recorded you, before mentioning to them that it was illegal.

I would also not discuss this any further with them on the phone at all. Document all further written contact and number of times they call you.

Send notice of amount due according to contract, without any mention of recording.

Have you figured out how they did it? Were they aware you were going to use time out before you did it? If they didn't that would be proof they actually did record you.

Time out for a one year old... well that depends on how one. A new one year old ... nah but one closing in on two... maybe. I don't find it particularly effective the way the recommendations are now with a minute per age.

ITA with the above.

Re: the time-outs, do you have a guidance policy in your written policies?

Assuming that they really have nothing significant on you, maybe do a little research about guidance for time-outs. IMO the term is used to mean different things. I personally would do a calm-down time for a one-year-old, and if that's more like what you were doing, maybe work on an explanation. Not that I think you'd need one, but I would feel more at peace about it if it were me.

[Unregistered]

I use time out in a case by case instance, depending on the child. This child seemed to comprehend it and it was used along with positive reinforcement!

She hasn't admitted in writing that she recorded me, just asked again for the deposit back. She then threatened to stop payment on this week's check when I said no. I just sent an email and attached my contract and said they would have to adhere to what they agreed to. She hasn't even given written notice. We will see what's next.

Thanks for all your help!

[nannyde]

I use time out in a case by case instance, depending on the child. This child seemed to comprehend it and it was used along with positive reinforcement!

She hasn't admitted in writing that she recorded me, just asked again for the deposit back. She then threatened to stop payment on this week's check when I said no. I just sent an email and attached my contract and said they would have to adhere to what they agreed to. She hasn't even given written notice. We will see what's next.

Thanks for all your help!

What did she use to record you?

[Unregistered]

What did she use to record you?

I don't know, she just said she had. They brought a daily bag so I assume it was hidden in there? So creepy to think about!

I told them it was illegal, but haven't contacted police... I called licensing to give them a heads up.

[Buttercup]

That's awful, I hope they pay up and leave you alone!! I agree with nannyde, why were they still sending their kid to you if they felt you needed to be secretly recorded???? Sounds like they are just bluffing and throwing an adult tantrum about losing their deposit.

Geez, this makes me not want to allow *any* items from home in my future daycare. Not even comfort items for nap

[HappyEverAfter]

People are so ridiculous these days. I cannot believe they would do this to you. What a nightmare over nothing!

Personally, I use time out with my 15mth old. We just began using it this month and it seems to be helping. The way I do mine is, she gets two verbal rule reminders/warnings and if the behavior continues I take her to the time out spot in the corner of the hallway (where there are no visual distractions) and stand there with her for 30-60 seconds. When time is up, I get down on her level, remind her to follow the rules, give her a hug and tell her she can go play now. It works well usually. Often one warning is all I have to give her. She understands what a "no-no" is and if you ask her what happens if you do a no-no, she will point to the corner of the hallway and say "no-no". Both her parents and I feel time out is appropriate for her. Out of curiosity, for those who say they don't do time out, what do you do for discipline of 1-2yr olds? I'd love to have other options if I ever needed them.

[nannyde]

I don't know, she just said she had. They brought a daily bag so I assume it was hidden in there? So creepy to think about!

I told them it was illegal, but haven't contacted police... I called licensing to give them a heads up.

Did they know about you beginning to use time out last week? Did you discuss it with them at any point before you started using it?

They are going to report you whether you give the money back or not. If you refund they will do it after they receive it. They will most likely cancel the check they wrote.

I'm assuming you allowed them to pay behind if you are saying they don't want to pay for the last two weeks.

Lesson learned.

Nothing goes back and forth from the home except the kid. Put any outerwear the child brings in the winter in a room away from the daycare. Check pockets when they come in. Always make them pay ahead for the week.

A former staff assistant of mine had her x husband send a very small (like the size of a thin lighter) in her kids cargo pants pocket during her time. It recorded up to eight hours or something on a memory stick. She found it and took it to the police. That was years ago so I'm sure the memory capability is even longer now. It was a cheap recorder he got off of Ebay from China but it worked. Like thirty bucks or something.

[sharlan]

I've learned from here - nothing crosses the front door but the child. Jackets and shoes go straight into cubbies.

School backpacks stay in the living room away from the kids.

[Leigh]

Here's the thing, you won't be shut down over a timeout, but you could get a violation for inappropriate discipline.

If that's all that's on the recording, I'd call their bluff. Call the police and file a report of blackmail and illegal recording.

And, I wouldn't even CONSIDER returning any funds. I'd make the police report TODAY.

[CeriBear]

Threatening you and recording you without your consent is much more serious than your putting a 1 year old on time out. Why not just tell you that they’d rather you use another form of discipline?

And how old was this child? Was she 13 months or 22 months? There is a difference in how you might handle inappropriate behavior in the two ages. Personally I wouldn’t use a time out with a child who had just turned 1 but a toddler about to turn 2 needs to learn that certain behaviors have not so good consequences. I don’t call it a time-out but if a 23 month old hits his classmate I take him by the hand and have him sit by himself for a minute.

[Josiegirl]

Threatening you and recording you without your consent is much more serious than your putting a 1 year old on time out. Why not just tell you that they’d rather you use another form of discipline?

Definitely!!! I'd be so angry! A lot of nerve.