Feeling Bad - Was I Out Of Line?

[ninosqueridos]

So Grandfather picks up DCB everyday, and everyday DCB immediately darts up the stairway. He has already fallen on his head on the marble floor. He has just turned 2. Grandfather is cutesy about letting him go halfway up before getting him (never mind dirty/wet/salty shoes on my carpeted steps!), and DCB NEVER goes up the steps until the moment Grandfather walks in.

Today, when Grandfather walked in, DCB started going up, and I said in my mean Mommy voice, "XX, we do not go up the stairs. We sit nicely and wait for Grandpa." I usually don't say anything. DCB throws himself and starts wailing. I felt bad saying something (now I probably look like the mean daycare lady), but that behavior drives me batty and other kids are starting to do the same thing when their parents come, too.

Are you still vocal about YOUR rules when parents/relatives are there?! I'm thinking nannyde's buhbye outside program might be in order....

[Blackcat31]

You feel bad for enforcing a rule????...I would give you a pat on the back!!! I think I use the mean mommy voice more when the parents are here than I do when I am alone!! I say Bravo to you...you earned a bit more backbone today!! Be proud, not feel bad!

[Sunny Day]

I am still vocal about my rules when parents are here. I have it written into my contract that anytime parents/guardians are present in the daycare THEY are responsible for making sure that their kids still follow MY rules. All the rules are clearly lined out in the contract for the parents and on the wall of the daycare as a reminder. I state in my contract that having two authority figures at the same time can be confusing for children and that please when the parent is present be responsible in getting you child to still obey daycare rules--that being said--parents don't follow it all the time, which is MADDENING! I understand your annoyance and don't think you were at all out of line! What did Gramps do/say when you said that to dcb? Hopefully, Grandpa will have gotten the point and will start doing something about it!

[lvt77]

Talk to nannyde. Aka the godmother. Lol

[ninosqueridos]

Well, Grandpa scoops him up off the floor in the middle of dcb's meltdown, and says, "aww, his pride has been hurt" with a chuckle. I think that means he took it well, right?! :confused: Grandpa is really nice and loves this boy to pieces so I'm hoping he didn't go home to tell DCM how mean I was. Well, a little of me hopes he did b/c DCB does the same thing when his Mom comes, too.

[ninosqueridos]

You feel bad for enforcing a rule????...I would give you a pat on the back!!! I think I use the mean mommy voice more when the parents are here than I do when I am alone!! I say Bravo to you...you earned a bit more backbone today!! Be proud, not feel bad!

I had a rough month this past month and I think that has helped me in the backbone dept.

[nannyde]

When a child cries out when you give them the direction or limit it means they understand the NO. That's a GOOD thing.

You say to Grandpa: " YAY that means he GETS it. If he didn't fuss I would be worried about him. It's a sign of high intellingence. My work here is done. Go home with your Grandpa lil dude."

[Little People]

You were not out of line! Yes, I do correct the DCK's when parents are here. just like this morning DCG 3 comes in with sippy cup, OH NO!! I said in a stern voice, *** you need to give that cup to mommy now as you know you are not allowed to bring that in. Mommy said, oh I did not see that she that she had that. hummmm , like the toy cell phone 2 days ago, like the 4 stuffed little kittens last week, like the talking frog before that. And for all these toys...they are MINE now!! The toy rule is posted right by the door in big bold letters. You bring it in...it never gets returned!!

[Sunny Day]

You were not out of line! Yes, I do correct the DCK's when parents are here. just like this morning DCG 3 comes in with sippy cup, OH NO!! I said in a stern voice, *** you need to give that cup to mommy now as you know you are not allowed to bring that in. Mommy said, oh I did not see that she that she had that. hummmm , like the toy cell phone 2 days ago, like the 4 stuffed little kittens last week, like the talking frog before that. And for all these toys...they are MINE now!! The toy rule is posted right by the door in big bold letters. You bring it in...it never gets returned!!

I was just wondering why you don't allow sippy cups? I LOVE your toy rule though....I need to start that!

[Little People]

I was just wondering why you don't allow sippy cups? I LOVE your toy rule though....I need to start that!

House Rule: NO food or drinks from home.

I do not allow the dck's to run around with any drinks. And the cup she has was like a sippy cup with a straw.
She could of had who knows what in it...choc. milk, GRAPE juice and then dropped it on the carpet!!

I provide my own sippy and drink cups. The dck's do get drinks as they want them, but we walk to the kitcken and get our drink cups.

And there was someone in here that posted about a child breaking a house rule and bringing a very nice toy and she was going to keep it!! and when the parent ask about it, I think she was going to tell them she did not know where it was and she would have to look for it, but I don't think the parent ever said anything about it. So this dcm KNOWS my rule and I just believe from the bottom of my little daycare heart that she really wants to donate these!!::::

[gkids09]

I definitely voice my rules in front of parents. It really irritates me that they don't make their kids mind when they come to pick them up. Once they get there, the kid is there responsibility. I say good bye and that's it...Yesterday, a little boy was being picked up during naptime. He NEVER acts up with me, but when he saw his mom he IMMEDIATELY started running around yelling and jumping and doing all this stuff that he KNOWS is not allowed. His mom laughed. LAUGHED. really!?!? All the other kids were trying to sleep, and he was running, yelling, and jumping!! I finally said, "_______ I think it's time for you to go with your mommy now. You keep doing that and everyone's going to wake up, and you will be in big trouble." I then went and got his coat, put it and his boots on, and scooted them out the door. Mom didn't say a word to me after I said that to him, but she knows (and signed) the policy that states that the children will test the 2 authority figures (me and the parent), and if the parent doesn't correct the child, I will.

[MG&Lsmom]

Another here that voices the rules. You absolutely have the right to enforce and ensure the rules are followed. They are still on your property, what if something happened or another child was hurt?

One of my DCBs has a really hard time behaving when DCM or DCGM comes for pick up. 2 weeks ago he dumped a huge box of cars all over the floor 5 mins before pick up time. I had him cleaning up when DCM arrived. He wasn't done picking up but beelined for mom. I asked once for him to come back to finish nicely. DCM tells him to go finish. "NO WAY!" I said "We don't talk to Mommy or Sara like that. Mommy is going to have to leave until you finish picking up." Mom turned around, peeling screaming DCB off her and walked out the door. He screamed for a minute or two and then proceeded to pick up. I thought she was going to be mad but she wasn't. She couldn't believe how tough I was on him, in a good way. Neither she nor DCD have a backbone.

[ninosqueridos]

thank you for sharing your experiences - don't feel so bad this morning!! I feel like it will just keep happening unless I said something....will see what this week brings.

[mickey2]

You must enforce your rules! It is your house and you are looking after other kids as well as this one. "Monkey see Monkey do!" If you don't say anything all the others will be doing the same thing in no time every time gramps shows up!

For example I do NOT allow running in my house. NONE! Every single child has to run when mom or dad show up. I have only been saying "no running" when they do this but last week I started saying, I am sorry mom/dad but we do not run in the house and x knows this rule and does not run all day. I have been making the child come back to where he/she was and walk to mom or dad!

I then tell mom or dad, "I am sorry but if I have 6 children all day and if they are all running x could really get hurt and I won't allow running!" I then look at the child and say "Just because mommy or daddy is here it does not mean that you do not have to listen. You still need to follow Auntie C's rules!

I used to have one dcd who would come in and intentionally get all the kids going. He still comes but I have toned him down a few notches! One day I told him you know dad, I can't have you coming in here and encouraging the children to break my rules. It was turning into a stressful situation with me at pickup when this dad came and I ended it. This family has been with me now 3 years. dcb is going to school in September but mom is pregnant and will be back with new baby in May.

Any family who is not okay with ME being in charge IMHO can go elsewhere.

[AAA713]

Don't have one ounce of guilt for enforcing your rules! You did the right thing. Bravo to you!!!!