Can't Figure Out New 14 Mo Nap Routine

[Mom2Two]

I'm having trouble understanding my new 14 mo dcb's nap schedule. Our state requires that we be flexible to <2 yo, and I don't mind doing that...but I can't figure out this guy's routine, even though I have an All About Me from mom.

Mom said that he takes a morning nap at about 11 or 11:30 am, but yesterday and today, he hasn't fallen asleep til 3:30. And mom picks up around 4pm.

It's 3:23 right now, and he just barely passed out, and mom texts me that she's on her way. Oh boy!

This stuff can really mess with my mind...

So do you train your kids? Do you ask parents to be on a night time schedule? I don't know that I could handle a 14 mth old who didn't nap! Especially this one!

[TheMisplacedMidwestMom]

Do you put him down to nap separate from the play room? I would just watch closely for cues and put him down in the morning.

I know there are people that nap their infants in "playroom" in a pack-n-play, but I just can't imagine any of mine actually sleeping like this. They would just play until they couldn't go on and pass out. I've been known to even set up a mini crib in the laundry room (close proximity) to create this space division.

Right now I have a 1 yr old that comes at random times each morning, I just know that she's ready for a nap about 3 hours into her day (I ask what time she was woken/or woke up) and put her down accordingly. And yes, it took training to get this going smoothly.

[Ariana]

So you put him in at 11-11:30 and he doesn't fall assleep until 3:30? Sorry I am not quite understanding!

[Blackcat31]

Nap schedules at home will always vary as the activity and stimulation levels at home don't even begin to compare to daycare so yes, I use a parent's info as a guide but but sleep train all kids to MY schedule.

At 1 yr old I begin training towards one nap a day when all the other kids are napping.

[Mom2Two]

Mystery solved!

Sorry if I didn't make sense. Sinus pressure + frustration over dcb naps + dcm arriving = unclear post.

Okay, I had a big discussion with mom about sleeping at home, and the mystery is solved!

This kid has NO ability to put himself to sleep!!!!! He is nursed to sleep, gets put to bed at 7:30pm, wakes up every HOUR TO HOUR AND A HALF, mom is a light sleeper and gets up with him, apparently cuddles him to sleep each time, then he gets up at 7am.

If he doesn't get nursed to sleep, he screams for hours til he throws up.

No wonder he is able to cry for hours and hours and is able to keep himself awake in his crib even when he's dead tired. Other kids eventually pass out from crying in a crib when they're tired!

I gave mom a big talk about everything...that one year olds often have sleep issues...that he needs long stretches of sleep for physical growth...that ability to put himself to sleep is a good skill for him to have...that being an in-charge trustworthy adult will give him greater security and happiness...that if she doesn't tackle this now (being a trustworthy, in-charge adult) watch out for when he turns 8...then 12!

So she agreed to only nurse at night til he's drowsy then put him in bed and tough it out even if he screams or throws up. I gave advice to put layers of blankets as his sheets so they could easily remove a barfed on one without taking him out of bed. I advised to be prepared to tough it out for a week. Then to work on him sleeping through the whole night.

I also said that I wouldn't keep him if he couldn't train to nap.

This kid has got major stamina! The way things are right now, he has got THEM trained, not the other way around. No wonder he has not adjusted well here!!! He simply has zero ability to nap himself and crying for hours gets him what he wants!

[Mom2Two]

So you put him in at 11-11:30 and he doesn't fall assleep until 3:30? Sorry I am not quite understanding!

It sounded like that was what I was saying...ha ha. No, I have put him down in mornings, and then when he went silent, I assumed he was sleeping but I'm not even sure that he was sleeping at all at 11:30. So I got him up, but then yesterday he seemed tired at about 3:00PM so I put him for a nap again. Today I watched him all day trying to see his tired cues, but didn't put him down til 2pm.

Really, except for the one hour nap he took at 3pm, I'm not certain if he's napped at all here, unless they have been 15 minute naps. I don't know if he lies still and quiet for 15-20 minues or if they are naps.

I know this is all clear as mud...which is why I've been feeling so frustrated.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I would do no nap in the morning and he goes down at 12:30-1:00 with everyone else. If you can keep him separated, that will help with the crying till he gets the drift, but if you don't want to listen to him cry or if it is bothering the other children, call for pick up. The parents habits at home are making his days much harder at your house, so make sure to really stress the importance of healthy sleep habits at home. I think it is important to really stress exactly how you will put him down for naps and let them know that extreme crying will lead to pick up as it is too stressful on the child. He has not been prepared for daycare, so make the parents firmly aware of that.:hug:

[Mom2Two]

Yes, my kids nap separate from each other. I use our bedrooms upstairs--one in each room. Maybe that will need to change one day, but for now it works.

Is it likely that children who never fall asleep by themselves at home will be able to adjust pretty quickly to falling asleep at nap time at daycare? In the case of this boy, mom says she's going to work on it at home--and she needs to--that kid's sleep is a disaster. But what about a parent that doesn't work on it at home?

[Jamie]

I don't really care what goes on at home. There is absolutely no way that I can follow the routines from five different homes, so I don't try.
When the kids are here, they are on my routine, which means that everyone gets trained to have one nap from 12 to 2 (at least - if they sleep longer I don't wake them).
Only difference is infants, but I rarely have any.

[hwichlaz]

It seems you're unlikely to get two naps out of him, so I'd just put him down at the same time as everyone else and call it good.

[Mom2Two]

Yes, after thinking about it, it makes sense to just have him take one nap. He's only here from 8:15 til 4 or 4:30, so it would be better for him to take one nap in the middle of the day.

Mom thinks his last daycare used to let him just fall asleep in the middle of the playroom floor. She also says she's not quite sure what they did, which is disturbing in and of itself. But either way, it sounds like this child has never been left alone to have a sleep in his life!

Well, that's all about to change...at least at my house!

And today was a much better day than the last three nightmare days. His sadness was way down and his happiness was up a bit.