Feeling A Tad Threatened. Would You??

[nikia]

Okay so some back story is that this family cause me lots of problems I mean A LOT. I recently checked out the facebook page of dcm and it was filled with how she does liquid cocaine and parties all the time blah blah blah. Whatever to each their own, but now after reading about people sueing daycare provider and such Im a tad worried about what happened today. Please let me know if I am being over the top worried or not.

DCM comes at pickup and asks me has your house been tested for lead? I say yes along with my own children at their check-ups. She says oh well dcg is at a level 44. Another mom is here at the time and says oh well dcb just had a check up and his was normal. They leave I think nothing of this until I get the following text. "Hey have you got the results back from ur lead test for your house?"

I say what I am required to have from the state yes I have them. I also have my own tester strips that I use every year that show negative. What exactly are you wanting from me.

She says Oh ok im not really sure what im looking for? i have to talk more to the doc about it just wondering.

I say well if its not a misread then the state will check each home that they spend a majority of time at (which is only 2 day here)

She says yeah her other kid has when he was little and their home was full of it so last year they remodeled their home.

So I feel like I should say if their is a worry the state will contact me and let you know what they find, this is not something that will be dealt with between me and you, but I dont know if that is just me wanting to defend myself and my business.

I feel bad if this child has elevated lead levels I really do, but I do not like being blamed for something that noone else has in my care. I do not like feeling threatened and I feel like this family is the kind that would want to make a quick buck no matter what that meant. I am not worried about the state finding anything in my home I am more worried that with all the problems this family causes and all the drama that they have this is a way for them to make a quick buck or lay blame on someone else kwim? or am I just being paranoid because I read way to many bad things about daycare and people in general.

[Lucy]

I don't know the dynamic between you and her, but if it's not ideal, I can see where you'd automatically be defensive. I would be tempted to be defensive also. As an outsider, however, I see it as a mom just wanting to cover every base. Even though I'd want to say "it isn't ME... it isn't MY house", I would just go ahead and play along with her and give her copies of whatever tests you have the results from. What's it going to hurt? And it will just make her feel better about her son, and better about you for being cooperative. Just my opinion. I know sometimes there are other "issues" at play that make us not want to give parents the satisfaction of accusing us of something, but I see her as a mom who is just worried and is trying to get answers.

[QualiTcare]

i'm still stuck on "she does liquid cocaine" - i'm not an idiot when it comes to drugs, but that's a new one to me.

[littlemonkeys]

i'm still stuck on "she does liquid cocaine" - i'm not an idiot when it comes to drugs, but that's a new one to me.

Me too! I'm not sure if I'd want to keep this child in my daycare or not. Maybe I’d keep her just to make sure that her child is well taken care of and provide stability for the child. Do we as providers have a responsibility to report alleged drug abuse? I'd be worried if the dcg got a hold of it or the problems it might bring to my home. Criminal element tends to follow people around and I personally wouldn't want it brought to my house. That's just me though.

Regarding the lead... it sounds like you have all your bases covered. I think the mom sounds like a liability risk though, but she may just be trying to cover all her bases like Joyce said. :confused:

[QualiTcare]

okay, i googled "liquid cocaine" and i think it's a drink. the statement that she "does" liquid cocaine made me think drugs. i don't know the relationship with the parents or the history, but i don't think a parent who drinks vs. a parent who doesn't drink makes a difference when it comes to being concerned about lead levels.

it makes perfect sense for a parent to ask people where their child spends any significant amount of time about lead if they have it in their system IMO -"drinker" or not.

anyhow, if you have the results then i don't think there's anything to worry about.

[Michael]

i'm still stuck on "she does liquid cocaine" - i'm not an idiot when it comes to drugs, but that's a new one to me.

Its called proctocaine. She must get it from a hospital. I was given it when I had a Rhinoplasmy. VERY potent.

I would also make a copy of her Facebook page mentioning she uses it. It may come in handy if she ever tries to sue you.

[jenh171]

Its called proctocaine. She must get it from a hospital. I was given it when I had a Rhinoplasmy. VERY potent.

I would also make a copy of her Facebook page mentioning she uses it. It may come in handy if she ever tries to sue you.

perhaps she was also given it for medical purposes?

[nikia]

I know its a drink and also there is a pain reliever like micheal said I do not know what she was referring to I just know either way it represents a life style I find offensive when raising small children but my husband is a recovering alcoholic so I have a different view on the use of alcohol and if it was the pain reliever that she "used" that is a bigger problem but I do not know if it is something I need to report as the kids to not appear abused or anything. They are not raised or taken care of like I would take care of my kids but that doesn't mean anything bad about them.

This family and I do not have a good relationship I was going to term them for multiple violations of my handbook and contract but got a sob story so I kept them. I have everything I'm supposed too so I will probably just deal with the state if they come to me and show the mom what I have if she asks again. Thanks for the thoughts on the subject I just needed an outside view since the family and I have a history I think it clouds my judgment of if they are really a concerned parent or one looking to lay blame and cause me issues in any way possible.

[kendallina]

Yeh, you lost me at does liquid cocaine. I would have termed for that. I will not have someone in my house who is a known drug user.

As far as the lead, I wouldn't worry about it at all. Maybe she was trying to be threatening, but, as you stated the child is only in your care 2 days/week. The state is much more likely to check her house before considering checking yours.

And in all honesty, she doesn't seem to be a rational-thinking person if she's blaming you for her child's elevated lead levels when you have your house tested yearly, your children don't have elevated lead levels and the other dcp said her child's lead is normal. If this mom is still bringing it up with you after all of that, she's not really thinking rationally. Oh yeh, and she's on liquid cocaine, so probably not thinking rationally.

Sorry you have to deal with this. Would you consider letting her go?

ETA: just read previous responses re: liquid cocaine. Was there ever any medical reason for her to be taking it that you know of? Weird, I've never heard of it.

[countrymom]

i have never heard of being tested for lead. Why would the dr test her kid, where can you buy test strips. Is this for older homes (mine is 100yrs old but everything is very up to date) I just think its weird that you have to do it.
and I too couldn't get past the part of her doing liquid cocaine.

[marniewon]

i have never heard of being tested for lead. Why would the dr test her kid, where can you buy test strips. Is this for older homes (mine is 100yrs old but everything is very up to date) I just think its weird that you have to do it.
and I too couldn't get past the part of her doing liquid cocaine.

Lead is poison if ingested. I know I'm not gonna get this right, so I'm not going to give dates, but lead used to be in paint, and most older homes have lead based paint in them, unless they have been renovated. In MI it's a requirement to have your house tested for lead to do daycare (or at least have parents sign a form showing that you have told them your house is however old and could contain lead. Even in the real estate market, if a house is a certain age or older, they have to tell you if there's a chance that there is lead-based paint in it.

As far as child testing, if your child has any symptoms of lead poisoning, they will test for it. Some agencies, like WIC, will test children for lead also. Lead can be very damaging to multiple parts of the brain and body, and not to be taken lightly.

With that said, I can understand dcm asking ONCE about it, but to infer that her child got elevated lead levels from daycare is ridiculous.

As far as the "liquid cocaine" use, I wouldn't write her off just because of a fb status. I don't do drugs, but if I was prescribed something I would. And I would probably make some smart-aleck comment about how the drugs are so great, or whatever, on fb.

[Blackcat31]

I would also not be concerned about the lead thing because you have the necessary documents that says your house is okay so in my opinion...end of story...even if she is implying that her kid got it from your house. She can make all the implications she wants but you have proof so no argument there.

As far as the Facebook page, when you were on her page was it because you are friends with her on facebook or because her page is open for all to view? I don't think you are obligated to report anything she says on facebook...Sorry, about this I DO NOT MEAN THIS RUDELY, but unless you are friends with her on there it really isn't your business what she says on there.....I believe as mandated reporters we are obligated to report things we see and know to be true. If you reported that she said that, they would be like, where is the proof she does anything like drugs besides her saying it on a public media outlet? kwim? I have several parents who I know say outlandish and totally bogus things on facebook because they are trying to be cool....(Facebook=social masturbation for some people) so in that regards I think you should feel good knowing your house has no lead and she is free to talk all the B.S. she wants, but given your history with butting heads with this mom I would term.....sounds like that would give you the most peace of mind.

[nikia]

I would also not be concerned about the lead thing because you have the necessary documents that says your house is okay so in my opinion...end of story...even if she is implying that her kid got it from your house. She can make all the implications she wants but you have proof so no argument there.

As far as the Facebook page, when you were on her page was it because you are friends with her on facebook or because her page is open for all to view? I don't think you are obligated to report anything she says on facebook...Sorry, about this I DO NOT MEAN THIS RUDELY, but unless you are friends with her on there it really isn't your business what she says on there.....I believe as mandated reporters we are obligated to report things we see and know to be true. If you reported that she said that, they would be like, where is the proof she does anything like drugs besides her saying it on a public media outlet? kwim? I have several parents who I know say outlandish and totally bogus things on facebook because they are trying to be cool....(Facebook=social masturbation for some people) so in that regards I think you should feel good knowing your house has no lead and she is free to talk all the B.S. she wants, but given your history with butting heads with this mom I would term.....sounds like that would give you the most peace of mind.

I see what you are saying about the facebook page. I actually checked everyone that I have out after a thread on here :: Some I already had as friends on facebook, but the ones I personally get a weird feeling about I dont. She happens to be one of them. Her facebook was not set as private and almost every single one of the updates says the following " I got so f***ed up last night" so you get what I mean?? To each their own I agree and I wouldnt turn her in for drinking as I said before I dont see any signs of abuse I just REALLY DO NOT agree with her lifestyle but that is not a reason for me to call dhs.

I guess the thing that bothers me is that her son had elevated levels before they even came here and she said they remodeled their house and now her daughter has elevated levels and the first thing she does is come to me???? I just feel like I need to defend :: whether its right or wrong, but you are right I have all I need and she can run her mouth but in the end I know its not me. And terming would give me the most peice of mind I should have done and not listened to her sob story when I was going to term the first time.

[GretasLittleFriends]

Countrymom,
Most doctors around our country are checking children for elevated lead in their system to prevent lead poisoning. http://www.cdc.gov/nceh/lead/ There have been major concerns with childrens toys, especially toys that little children put in their mouths.

[Annette]

In NY lead testing is mandatory. A lot of young people today are buzzing away on the 5 hour energy drinks on top of alcohol and believe me it is almost like liquid cocaine. I tried it as I always get so tired after a glass or 2 of wine at night and wanted to stay up with my fiance and watch a movie instead of going to bed, oh, my goodness I was buzzing for hours.!!!!!!!!!!!