Terming During Trial Period, Leaving Child Care

[spud912]

Hi all, it's been awhile 😊. I used to be fairly active on here but my daughter was diagnosed with special needs earlier this year and I was swamped with getting her therapies in place. Well fast forward to now and we are in a good place with her, but she started developmental preschool. I've started questioning why I'm still in this business if all of my kids are in school and I lost my passion for it. Ultimately I decided to go back to school for my masters and close up shop next year. In the meantime, I want to ensure that I have a manageable child care load since I am taking master classes.

I've had my last spot open for awhile since I've been really selective on who to take since my current group is absolutely perfect. I finally just filled the spot 2 weeks ago. The little girl started on Monday and I honestly feel like she will make things difficult. She is 2 1/2 and is very resistant to transitions (saying no and running away from me). I usually have to pick her up and do hand over hand to get her to cooperate. She also only naps 45 minutes and spends the rest of naptime screaming and attempting to run around. She refuses to sit in time out. She does have good points like plays well by herself, she says thank you, and her parents are on board. Yesterday was a major red flag because she became super aggressive.

The kiddos were all playing on the ride-on toys outside and I was sitting down next to the new girl while she was taking a drink of water. She put her cup down and started crying and rubbing her cheek. I asked her what happened and if she has an ouchie. Out of nowhere, she ran full speed and rammed another girl who went flying off of the trike onto the concrete and rolled into the other children. Long story short, she threw a massive tantrum because I separated her, throwing pillows around and screamining for 30 minutes.

It turns out parents are aware of her aggressive behavior, saying things like she is a single child and is used to getting her way. Mom is pregnant so I think they're worried with her behavior and want to get her on track before the baby comes. I think they changed daycares because they felt like a calm environment like mine will calm their daughter.

Needless to say, I'm wanting to cut ties....too much work when I already have a lot on my plate. Plus I just don't have the drive like I used to for changing problem behavior.

I sent an email to mom yesterday saying things are off to a bad start and my concerns. I also said I would be willing to meet but I take her aggressiveness seriously. Today mom called her kiddo out sick. I'm assuming that means mom got my email and they may be looking for alternate care.

Not sure why I posted here besides looking for your thoughts. Sorry it's sooo long!

[daycarediva]

She acted like that AND it was during the trial period? No I would be done that day. Even feeling like a lifer (my youngest is in 4th grade, ha!) I would NOT put other children at risk.

I assume the parents were not up front about this behavior prior to enrolling?

Out 'sick' and no response to the email tells me that the parents are NOT on board to change this behavior. I would bet they blamed the 'busy' former childcare, or the OTHER children, or any other excuse and want someone to say that their child is perfect.

[daycarediva]

Also, so glad your daughter is doing well and congrats on your masters! I am taking classes towards my masters as well. ONE at a time. ::

[spud912]

Yes they were on board for the other behavioral things. I agree they're not on board for this stuff! No they did not mention her aggressive behavior, just that she was picking up some bad habits from the other kids at her last daycare. Excuses of course include: she got this from other kids, she is an only child, her last provider let her get away with things, etc.

[spud912]

Also, so glad your daughter is doing well and congrats on your masters! I am taking classes towards my masters as well. ONE at a time. ::

Thank you! Congrats on your masters! What are you going for??

[Ariana]

Wow they will be in big trouble when baby comes. Much more going on here than just "only child used to getting her own way". Aggression of this magnatude is very concerning to me. I would even be thinking there is abuse going on at home or something like that.

I have two kids who are very aggressive. I have begun to notice that when mom is in a good mood we have a great day, when mom is in a bad mood we have a bad day. I have always expected some emotional abuse (they have zero reaction to the usual tactics I use).

And congrats for going back to school! Wish I had the courage!

[daycarediva]

Yes they were on board for the other behavioral things. I agree they're not on board for this stuff! No they did not mention her aggressive behavior, just that she was picking up some bad habits from the other kids at her last daycare. Excuses of course include: she got this from other kids, she is an only child, her last provider let her get away with things, etc.

Sad. I would just email her back and state that after careful consideration you do not think it will be a good fit.

I wonder if kiddo got termed from the last place and Mom sees it coming?

Thank you! Congrats on your masters! What are you going for??

General Ed., probably get my teaching license afterwards. Not that teaching public school is an option, but I plan to open a center and there is no upk option in my district with wrap around care. They only have 20 spaces available in the school district and parents must transport to/from.

[spud912]

Sad. I would just email her back and state that after careful consideration you do not think it will be a good fit.

I wonder if kiddo got termed from the last place and Mom sees it coming?



General Ed., probably get my teaching license afterwards. Not that teaching public school is an option, but I plan to open a center and there is no upk option in my district with wrap around care. They only have 20 spaces available in the school district and parents must transport to/from.

Yes, I thought the same thing about getting kicked out!!! Or possibly gently nudged out 😉.

I'm going to school for behavioral therapy.....for kids with behavior issues 😂🤣. The plus side it's more of a consulting role. The caregivers have to implement the goal tactics, I just analyze the progress and provide suggestions 😉.

[daycarediva]

Yes, I thought the same thing about getting kicked out!!! Or possibly gently nudged out 😉.

I'm going to school for behavioral therapy.....for kids with behavior issues 😂🤣. The plus side it's more of a consulting role. The caregivers have to implement the goal tactics, I just analyze the progress and provide suggestions 😉.

NICE! I seriously considered ST, but child care just comes too easy to me to hang my hat.

[Mom2Two]

I keep thinking about more school too. Maybe OT or SLT. Idk...

[spud912]

Mom responded to my email about my concerns and was very defensive about every little thing. She gave a reasoning for every single item I mentioned that may be perceived as a negative. In regards to the aggression, she made it clear her daughter is a good girl and that she did not mean to hurt the other child. "Children have tantrums" and made it seem like maybe I need to handle the tantrums a bit better. It actually made me more ready to pull the plug even though I could see she was trying her hardest to come across nice.

[MarinaVanessa]

Sounds a lot like a bunch of excuses. Personally I would have cut my ties asap. Her response sends me signals that instead of working with me she'd be justifying her daughter's behavior. It sounds like she's going to be a struggle. Usually I would just write up a simple generic termination letter but lately I've had some stick up my butt and I've been calling parents out, I'd be tempted to tell her exactly why I was going to terminate. It's not even the little girl's behavior that really concerns me but the idea that instead of saying "okay, got it. We'll work on it" she's saying "she's a snowflake. what do you expect?"
I would have responded to her response with ...


"After reading your response to my concerns I have come to the conclusion that I am not a good fit for your daughter and your families needs. I reached out to you with concerns in hopes that together we could come up with a solution for a plan of action to curb the behavior. What I did not expect was a justification for her behavior.

Make no mistake, many of these behaviors are typical of children her age and I fully understand that. That being so they are also not acceptable in a childcare setting and I must think of the needs and safety of the children as a whole.

I am invoking the right to terminate our contract during the trial period effective immediately. All of DCG's belongings will be gathered up and will be ready to be picked up no later than [date]. Please schedule a day and time with me to pick them up. If her belongings are not picked up within 7 days they will be considered abandoned and they will be discarded as I see fit.

A refund of $X [will/will not] be given for the remaining unused days that you have pre-paid. The amount will be mailed to you via certified mail in the form of a check no later than [date].

I wish you luck in your search for alternate child care arrangements and hope that you find a better fit.

Thank you

[spud912]

Sounds a lot like a bunch of excuses. Personally I would have cut my ties asap. Her response sends me signals that instead of working with me she'd be justifying her daughter's behavior. It sounds like she's going to be a struggle. Usually I would just write up a simple generic termination letter but lately I've had some stick up my butt and I've been calling parents out, I'd be tempted to tell her exactly why I was going to terminate. It's not even the little girl's behavior that really concerns me but the idea that instead of saying "okay, got it. We'll work on it" she's saying "she's a snowflake. what do you expect?"
I would have responded to her response with ...


"After reading your response to my concerns I have come to the conclusion that I am not a good fit for your daughter and your families needs. I reached out to you with concerns in hopes that together we could come up with a solution for a plan of action to curb the behavior. What I did not expect was a justification for her behavior.

Make no mistake, many of these behaviors are typical of children her age and I fully understand that. That being so they are also not acceptable in a childcare setting and I must think of the needs and safety of the children as a whole.

I am invoking the right to terminate our contract during the trial period effective immediately. All of DCG's belongings will be gathered up and will be ready to be picked up no later than [date]. Please schedule a day and time with me to pick them up. If her belongings are not picked up within 7 days they will be considered abandoned and they will be discarded as I see fit.

A refund of $X [will/will not] be given for the remaining unused days that you have pre-paid. The amount will be mailed to you via certified mail in the form of a check no later than [date].

I wish you luck in your search for alternate child care arrangements and hope that you find a better fit.

Thank you

Most behaviors are normal for a 2 year old in a new environment, but I really felt like her tackling out of anger was quite excessive. I really believe if anyone else saw it they would be shocked as well. The kids all were pretty upset, even the ones not involved. Luckily the other child was not hurt.