Dread Pick ups

[ABCDaycareMN]

Drop offs made by mom go very well. She is nice, friendly, and overall cares.

Dad picks up 2 days a week and he is extremely unfriendly towards me. No hi, how was their day, bye, no responses to "have a good weekend" nothing. He doesn't say one word to me. So rude.

How can I fix this. Is it something I am doing? If it is me what can I do different?

I dread pickups by him so much. I really want to tell the mom that she needs to pick up only. Then dad can get the kids from her.

[kendallina]

I'm sure it's nothing personal. I would continue to say a friendly hi and move on with your day.

[Mike]

I'm sure it's nothing personal. I would continue to say a friendly hi and move on with your day.

I agree. Just be yourself and don't worry about him. He could just be a very shy person, like I used to be. Maybe over time he may get friendlier.

[MyAngels]

This sounds like my dream dcp . Just kidding. Sort of

Maybe you could try asking him a direct question so that he has to respond? I have a dcd that doesn't really talk unless I engage him, but he's pretty nice, just quiet I guess.

I wouldn't take it personally.

[Josiegirl]

I agree with the above. I have a new dcd that either drops off or picks up quite a bit and he has hardly said anything to me. As long as he is good to his ds, I have no problem with that. He gets his note, the dcm is nice to me and we talk quite a bit; could just be he's uncomfortable and doesn't know what to say so tries for the speedy escape.

[storybookending]

I have a dad sort of like this. Doesn't say much at all. He'll at least say have a nice night back and sometimes will say it first. He picks up 2x a week as mom works until 7:30. Any information about the kids doesn't get much of a response, if any. Mom even said to me once if anything major happens or they need supplies on a dad pick up day to just text her as he won't relay messages. It's just how he is, he's my best friends cousin and she said he's always been this way. They'll pick up at the same time and he's the same way with her. Sometimes I wonder how him and his wife ever hit it off enough to get married and have kids hahaha.

[nannyde]

Drop offs made by mom go very well. She is nice, friendly, and overall cares.

Dad picks up 2 days a week and he is extremely unfriendly towards me. No hi, how was their day, bye, no responses to "have a good weekend" nothing. He doesn't say one word to me. So rude.

How can I fix this. Is it something I am doing? If it is me what can I do different?

I dread pickups by him so much. I really want to tell the mom that she needs to pick up only. Then dad can get the kids from her.

Are they separated?

[Indoorvoice]

Not gonna lie, I wish all my parents were like this! I dread pick ups because I hate trying to get out of the small talk. I definitely wouldn't take it personally!

[amberrose3dg]

I have a dad like this as well. I think it is just how he is. He is polite but does not care to be bothered with anything other then when the last time his son ate/changed. ( he is 10 weeks old) I do not let it bother me as he is out of here in 5 seconds.::

[Ariana]

I have a family like this. They are super introverted and very little small talk. It is bizarre that they don't want to talk to the person that is taking care of their kid but as long as they pay me I couldn't care less!

[knoxmomof2]

Hey, as long as he keeps things quick and isn't rude - it sounds like an ideal situation.. Haha. I would just save any conversation for Mom (unless it's a timely matter and then just ask direct questions to him).

[DaveA]

I doubt it's personal. DCD may just be shy, introverted, or just wanting to stay "all business" with you. Some people are just abrupt personally. They can seem cold when they are really trying to not be a bother to others. Also a lot of DCDs see daycare (center and home) as an "estrogen ocean" where they are tolerated but not a part of. Plus he my be worried about your perception of you. A DCM who is talkative is "chatty" while a DCD who does is a "creeper." If he's had a bad experience with a female coworker or previous daycare he may be intentionally short with you.

My advice would be enjoy the quick pickup. happyface

[Cat Herder]

I doubt it's personal. DCD may just be shy, introverted, or just wanting to stay "all business" with you. Some people are just abrupt personally. They can seem cold when they are really trying to not be a bother to others. Also a lot of DCDs see daycare (center and home) as an "estrogen ocean" where they are tolerated but not a part of. Plus he my be worried about your perception of you. A DCM who is talkative is "chatty" while a DCD who does is a "creeper." If he's had a bad experience with a female coworker or previous daycare he may be intentionally short with you.

My advice would be enjoy the quick pickup. happyface

I agree with this. I am horribly awkward at the mechanics shop and when alone with handymen in my home for similar reasons and past experiences. :: Granted, I have never *not greeted anyone with whom I made eye contact. I also would never *not respond to pleasantries or refuse to wish them a great afternoon as we parted. Of course, I am a southern woman, so those acts would be unforgivable. :: Culture and past experience dictate our behaviors more than we think.

[ABCDaycareMN]

Thank you all.

I met with just the dad last night, divorced, and he was completely different. I believe he wasn't warm to me because he didn't choose me to be their daycare provider, mom did. Hopefully things get better now that he has met with me professionally.

I do believe he is looking for faults with me though. I just have an icky feeling with him. Intuition, not sure.

[Cat Herder]

Thank you all.
I do believe he is looking for faults with me though. I just have an icky feeling with him. Intuition, not sure.

He probably feels exactly the same. :hug: He may live in fear of being alienated from his kids by proxy. Neutrality will ease this over time, IME.

Glad to hear you two are talking more openly now. happyface