Strange DCD Behavior?

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  • midaycare
    Daycare.com Member
    • Jan 2014
    • 5658

    Strange DCD Behavior?

    I hate people, so tell me if this is normal I'm usually perceptive but I'm at a loss here.

    New dcg, age 2, just turned. She's good, just super needy and clingy. Whines to go home a lot. But getting better a little each day.

    Dcm is a teacher and dcd works similar hours. Besides the interview, I've never seen dcm. Both parents give me a weird vibe. They are super materialistic ("We go to Key West, we go here, we go there, we want a newer, bigger, house..."). Ironically it's easy to see they are broke as can be, but that's besides the point. They are both very in your face blunt. I'm blunt. They are super blunt. When I'm taken aback, you know it's blunt.

    So the weird thing is that dcd makes odd comments about dcg. "Dcg needs to thin out" (she's tiny but has the cute little 2-year-old chub that all toddlers do. Dcg will be gorgeous though). "Dcg has fat feet. We need her to grow so she's not so fat." "Dcg is looking chunky in that outfit today". Or yesterday at pickup..."Dcg, looking good in your skinny jeans." What the serious heck? It's always comments about her body and I think it's weird.

    I don't know if he is just so materialistic that he wants everything to look great in his life, including his kids (she's so adorable, by the way). Or if he's creepy.

    Thoughts? I'm not like ready to call CPS, I should state. Sometimes people jump on that band wagon. But I definitely have my eyes open as those comments seem inappropriate!
  • storybookending
    Daycare.com Member
    • Jan 2017
    • 1484

    #2
    Originally posted by midaycare
    I hate people, so tell me if this is normal I'm usually perceptive but I'm at a loss here.

    New dcg, age 2, just turned. She's good, just super needy and clingy. Whines to go home a lot. But getting better a little each day.

    Dcm is a teacher and dcd works similar hours. Besides the interview, I've never seen dcm. Both parents give me a weird vibe. They are super materialistic ("We go to Key West, we go here, we go there, we want a newer, bigger, house..."). Ironically it's easy to see they are broke as can be, but that's besides the point. They are both very in your face blunt. I'm blunt. They are super blunt. When I'm taken aback, you know it's blunt.

    So the weird thing is that dcd makes odd comments about dcg. "Dcg needs to thin out" (she's tiny but has the cute little 2-year-old chub that all toddlers do. Dcg will be gorgeous though). "Dcg has fat feet. We need her to grow so she's not so fat." "Dcg is looking chunky in that outfit today". Or yesterday at pickup..."Dcg, looking good in your skinny jeans." What the serious heck? It's always comments about her body and I think it's weird.

    I don't know if he is just so materialistic that he wants everything to look great in his life, including his kids (she's so adorable, by the way). Or if he's creepy.

    Thoughts? I'm not like ready to call CPS, I should state. Sometimes people jump on that band wagon. But I definitely have my eyes open as those comments seem inappropriate!
    Sounds like they are grooming her to have life long body issues

    Comment

    • Ariana
      Advanced Daycare.com Member
      • Jun 2011
      • 8969

      #3
      That is definitely problematic in my opinion. Why does he think this is ok?? I wouldn't call CPS but I might make a comment like "she is perfect and right on target for her age, no need to worry dad".

      I had an anorexic mom make these comments about her child. Granted the child was 3 and 40lbs but she was also very tall. I always spun it into a positive and the mom stopped commenting.

      Comment

      • midaycare
        Daycare.com Member
        • Jan 2014
        • 5658

        #4
        Originally posted by storybookending
        Sounds like they are grooming her to have life long body issues
        I know - I'm sitting her 20 lbs overweight wondering what they say about me :confused:

        Comment

        • midaycare
          Daycare.com Member
          • Jan 2014
          • 5658

          #5
          Originally posted by Ariana
          That is definitely problematic in my opinion. Why does he think this is ok?? I wouldn't call CPS but I might make a comment like "she is perfect and right on target for her age, no need to worry dad".

          I had an anorexic mom make these comments about her child. Granted the child was 3 and 40lbs but she was also very tall. I always spun it into a positive and the mom stopped commenting.
          I've been doing this, I just keep saying, "She is absolutely perfect. Right where she should be!"

          Comment

          • Ariana
            Advanced Daycare.com Member
            • Jun 2011
            • 8969

            #6
            Originally posted by midaycare
            I've been doing this, I just keep saying, "She is absolutely perfect. Right where she should be!"
            Maybe let him know his comments are making you feel uncomfortable and why?

            What a crappy situation to be in

            Comment

            • midaycare
              Daycare.com Member
              • Jan 2014
              • 5658

              #7
              Originally posted by Ariana
              Maybe let him know his comments are making you feel uncomfortable and why?

              What a crappy situation to be in
              Maybe I will hit him with this... "You know dcd...I'm a little overweight here. I sure would hate to see what you say about me behind my back since dcd is absolutely perfect and you're always teasing her..."

              At least maybe he will shut up here.

              Comment

              • daycarediva
                Daycare.com Member
                • Jul 2012
                • 11698

                #8
                I would be blunt.

                She is perfectly on target for her age and height. She's beautiful. However, those comments could be detrimental to her emotional well being long term, young children are highly perceptive.

                If it persisted, "We don't call names, it's impolite." "We don't comment on appearances, it's rude."

                followed by a meeting with both parents present.

                Wonder how this 'dad of the year' treats dcm. ?


                DD's best friend's dad makes similar comments to his daughter. She's now 92 lbs and entering her second stint in an eating disorder facility. I'd like to smack his fat face.

                Comment

                • storybookending
                  Daycare.com Member
                  • Jan 2017
                  • 1484

                  #9
                  Originally posted by midaycare
                  I know - I'm sitting her 20 lbs overweight wondering what they say about me :confused:
                  Same, girl. According to the BMI chart I need to lose 20-25 lbs to be considered "healthy". That chart is not kind to short people though.

                  Comment

                  • daycarediva
                    Daycare.com Member
                    • Jul 2012
                    • 11698

                    #10
                    Originally posted by storybookending
                    Same, girl. According to the BMI chart I need to lose 20-25 lbs to be considered "healthy". That chart is not kind to short people though.
                    or anyone with muscle. I'm both.

                    I'm back on prednisone and back up 20ish lbs. It ****S. SO SICK of the weight yo-yo.

                    Comment

                    • midaycare
                      Daycare.com Member
                      • Jan 2014
                      • 5658

                      #11
                      Originally posted by daycarediva
                      or anyone with muscle. I'm both.

                      I'm back on prednisone and back up 20ish lbs. It ****S. SO SICK of the weight yo-yo.
                      Feeling your pain. Prednisone caused my weight gain in the first place.

                      Comment

                      • midaycare
                        Daycare.com Member
                        • Jan 2014
                        • 5658

                        #12
                        Originally posted by storybookending
                        Same, girl. According to the BMI chart I need to lose 20-25 lbs to be considered "healthy". That chart is not kind to short people though.
                        Or those who just like to eat ::

                        Comment

                        • midaycare
                          Daycare.com Member
                          • Jan 2014
                          • 5658

                          #13
                          Originally posted by daycarediva
                          I would be blunt.

                          She is perfectly on target for her age and height. She's beautiful. However, those comments could be detrimental to her emotional well being long term, young children are highly perceptive.

                          If it persisted, "We don't call names, it's impolite." "We don't comment on appearances, it's rude."

                          followed by a meeting with both parents present.

                          Wonder how this 'dad of the year' treats dcm. ?


                          DD's best friend's dad makes similar comments to his daughter. She's now 92 lbs and entering her second stint in an eating disorder facility. I'd like to smack his fat face.
                          I like this because it secretly amuses me to treat him like a child.

                          Also yeah, that thought crossed my mind. He probably treats dcm poorly.

                          Comment

                          • storybookending
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Jan 2017
                            • 1484

                            #14
                            Originally posted by daycarediva
                            or anyone with muscle. I'm both.

                            I'm back on prednisone and back up 20ish lbs. It ****S. SO SICK of the weight yo-yo.
                            That too. I'm a mixture of both as well. I do have a few lbs I could lose but I'm very strong. I have the WORST eating habits imaginable. It's amazing that my daycare kids eat so well and always finish their veggies. If only someone instilled that in me when I was younger!

                            I have a wedding in October for my childhood best friend. I look fine in my dress but there is going to be a ton of people there I used to know (she kept in touch with people, I did not). I told myself I was going to try really hard to look great for this occasion but the "I haven't spoken to these people in 8 years why should I change myself to impress them" mentality set in. We are less than a month away and I just started trying to eat healthier again up until the day and make sure I get my steps in. Yes I'm one of those fitbit people... I think I started a little too late.. oops

                            Comment

                            • Miss A
                              Daycare.com Member
                              • Jul 2015
                              • 991

                              #15
                              That poor little girl is going to have body image issues for the rest of her life! Little kids remember these comments, I know I do!

                              I have always been bigger. Every single woman in my family is built the same way I am. So, my size is partly genetics, party from my love affair with good food and Mt. Dew. My dad has always been proud of the fact that he still fits in his jeans from high school, 24 years ago. I grew up hearing comments like this my entire childhood. They stick with you for life!

                              I am getting married in 2 months. Did I go crazy to lose a bunch of weight? Nope. This body has served me my entire life. It has grown a human being inside of it. It has produced milk for the first 5 months of my baby's life. I am not perfect, I am no beauty queen, but I am who I am. If anyone has a problem with that they do not have to look at me!

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