What Do You Think? Parents Leaving Quickly

[Molly]

Hello!

My aunt is a daycare provider, who is extremely worried. She recently interviewed a child, about 2 years old, and their family to start daycare in September. The family enjoyed the interview, and really liked my aunt. The family was extremely nice, and even provided my aunt with a gift bag that included a gift card and Bath and Body Works products just for taking in her child. They started on September 5th, and the mom explained again how excited she was for the child to start with my aunt. On the 6th, when picking up the child, again she told my aunt how excited she was to be here and that she was a great provider. She also stated that she already noticed an improvement in her child (the child was becoming less shy). My aunt was really excited to have this family.

On Thursday, the dad came and picked up the child, and collected all of the child's items, including diapers that are supposed to be left at the house. The father then stated to my aunt that his wife will call her, and left. My aunt was instantly worried that something happened, and that the child will be leaving. The father called a few hours later, and stated that they would not longer be coming due to "financial issues."

My aunt is extremely worried that they video taped, or recorded, her and that was the reason that they left so quickly. My aunt has not been sleeping for the past few days because of this, and is extremely worried. This has not happened to her before (with someone leaving that quick, especially with giving her so much praise). What do you think? Do you think they recorded her? Do you think it is really financial issues? Do you think it is something else? Thank you for all of your help, myself, and my aunt, really appreciate it!

Molly

[Ariana]

Did your aunt do anything she feels might be held against her somehow? Did she lose her temper or say or do anything the parents might interpret the wrong way? It happens sometimes!

I often wonder if the parents would ever do something like that. You never know. It could also very well be financial issues and they were embarassed.

[Molly]

Did your aunt do anything she feels might be held against her somehow? Did she lose her temper or say or do anything the parents might interpret the wrong way? It happens sometimes!

I often wonder if the parents would ever do something like that. You never know. It could also very well be financial issues and they were embarassed.

She does not believe that she said anything to the kids that would not be good, however she does talk to my mom (her sister) and vent with her sometimes. She might have said something to her that the parent might possibly not like, but she usually just tells stories that the kids do that might upset her. An example of this would be when a child does not want to do art (coloring a picture) and she tells them that is fine, however they will not be able to do it in the future. The child usually finishes the picture then, however if they do not, they go downstairs to play. My aunt does let the kids still do art even if this happens. She would then call my mom and say "child doesn't like to do her art, and I find all of these really nice pictures and projects that they like, however they don't appreciate it. It just makes me really sad."

I have also worked for my aunt for over six years while in high school and college, and she is really nice to the kids. The most that I can say is that she does yell at them if they are being extremely loud in the house. That usually happens when she is on the phone, with another daycare provider asking when they should meet up at the park.

My aunt has been having a stressful summer, as their house recently caught on fire, so she may have have a smaller temper than normal, so that is possible. One thing that I can think of that might also be the reason is the parents asked my aunt for help in the child getting to sleep. My aunt explained that the first day they had trouble, but the second day they did not. They were shocked and explained that the child kept crying at home, and they would sit in the room with them. She stated that it is good to leave the room and let them cry for 10 to 15 minutes, and check on them if they are still crying afterwards. I do know that some parents do not agree with this, and I am wondering if this is a possibility as to why they left as well.

Thank you again for all of your help! I know she will greatly appreciate it!

[Ariana]

I think your aunt has to understand that parents do not know what it is like to run a home daycare. Stressful, long hours and parents who like to run the show. I am sure these parents are not perfect but they expect your aunt to be perfect.

My suspicion would be that they did not like the fact that she sleep trained their kid. Many many parents do not want their kids crying for 10-15 minutes and they don't understand the dynamic of group care does not allow for the same treatment as at home. A kid should be sleep trained before coming to group care. Next time don't tell the parents!

[Josiegirl]

It sounds like there are a lot of assumptions being made here. Honestly, you have no idea why the dcps did what they did. It could be a problem within their own relationship. Maybe your aunt could email them?
I hate the thought of a dcf secretly taping us. But it's always a possibility I suppose.
Good luck and I hope she gets it sorted out soon. It's so hard going from I lovelovelove you to turning tail and running off. :confused:

[Blackcat31]

I don't think this is the whole story.

I've been a provider for over 20+ years and if a family up and left without much communication there are a hundred things I'd think was wrong before I automatically assumed they secretly recorded my daily happenings.

AND even if I did assume that, I wouldn't lose sleep over it unless I had done/said something worth losing sleep over.

I don't know but this whole story seems "off" and as if we aren't being told everything. I'm not saying any of it did or didn't happen; I am just saying we are only hearing one side of the story.....and second hand at that.

But a good rule of thumb going forward is to always behave professionally. If you wouldn't say or do it in front of a daycare parent or your licensor then don't say or do it during business hours.

It's the easiest way to ensure you sleep well every night.

[nannyde]

Can you be more specific about what she thinks could have been left at her house that could record?

[Rockgirl]

I don't understand why the aunt automatically came to the conclusion that she must have been recorded. And if so, was there something that happened that would've caused the parents to pull with no explanation?

If I had a parent pull suddenly, I'd just call and ask them if anything had happened to upset them. Why lose sleep over it by making assumptions?

[amberrose3dg]

I would not jump to the conclusion of being recorded unless something happened to make her think that. I would assume something else first like parents not being able to pay or something they were unhappy with about policies etc..

[Alwaysgreener]

I had a family leave shortly after starting once, they asked to leave though. They pampered me with gifts and drop n dashed a sick kid, then on the tenth day called and said that the could not afford DC anymore. A week or so later I found their closed ad on care for a nanny. (Closed the same day they called me.) Basically they used me in between Nannies, then lied when they left.
Anyways, I knew something was up when they told me they could not afford DC anymore. But I never expected being recorded by them.

[Molly]

Thank you everyone who replied! I truly believe what you all are saying, and I appreciate your own stories. My aunts friend, who is also a daycare provider, was the one who gave my aunt the idea of recording her. I believe she recently read an article about it. I personally do not think that she was recorded and that it is because of the financial issues, or something else with the family. I am so sorry that this is a second hand report, however my aunt did not want to ask any one about it. There was not any proof that they recorded her, and the only thing that they brought with them was the child's car seat. I keep telling my aunt to call them, and to get a clear andwer, however she is worried. Hopefully with this post she can see that others think it is a good idea.

I wish I had more information about the situation, and if something happened that day that maybe, if she was recorded, might have been interpreted differently. Thank you everyone for all of your help with this! I truly appreciate it! I did not know that this site existed before, but I am really glad I found it!

[Blackcat31]

Thank you everyone who replied! I truly believe what you all are saying, and I appreciate your own stories. My aunts friend, who is also a daycare provider, was the one who gave my aunt the idea of recording her. I believe she recently read an article about it. I personally do not think that she was recorded and that it is because of the financial issues, or something else with the family. I am so sorry that this is a second hand report, however my aunt did not want to ask any one about it. There was not any proof that they recorded her, and the only thing that they brought with them was the child's car seat. I keep telling my aunt to call them, and to get a clear andwer, however she is worried. Hopefully with this post she can see that others think it is a good idea.

I wish I had more information about the situation, and if something happened that day that maybe, if she was recorded, might have been interpreted differently. Thank you everyone for all of your help with this! I truly appreciate it! I did not know that this site existed before, but I am really glad I found it!

You are very caring to want to help your aunt!

I'm sorry she is going through this.

Daycare is a tough business but you gotta deal with things straight up and immediately or it'll eat you up with fear and stress.... almost always over nothing.

I hope she finds out it was nothing.
Keep us posted!

[Mom2Two]

I had a family leave shortly after starting once, they asked to leave though. They pampered me with gifts and drop n dashed a sick kid, then on the tenth day called and said that the could not afford DC anymore. A week or so later I found their closed ad on care for a nanny. (Closed the same day they called me.) Basically they used me in between Nannies, then lied when they left.
Anyways, I knew something was up when they told me they could not afford DC anymore. But I never expected being recorded by them.

I had this happen to me once too--a family who lied to me and used for a couple of weeks. They were planning to move to a different town, had new jobs, and just wanted local care for two weeks before they moved. Grrrr!

[Mom2Two]

If a family suddenly left, and I didn't suspect that they had lied from the beginning, my first thoughts would be that they might have been in trouble with the law or their landlord or something.

I wouldn't really worry about being secretly recorded unless something specific was on my conscience. I've had a couple of days where I've been more irritable than normal, and I wouldn't love the thought of that being on record. But on the other hand, all my dcparents have their grouchy days too.

[HappyEverAfter]

It's possible something happened within the DCP personal life that truly has created a financial difficulty for them. Maybe one of them lost their job or they could be separating or any variety of reasons. The best thing your aunt can do is let it go and try not to worry or wonder about the what ifs.