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So, let's face it, I'm kinda desperate for enrollees at the moment! But, I just had a kind of rude exchange with an email inquiry. I'm feeling like just not even continuing the conversation. Am I being overly dramatic!? Maybe she'll turn out normal. She seems kinda snotty! See, she asked rates - first question, for 3, 4 or 5 days full time (she also asked how long I had been licensed which slightly made me think it was some kind of provider fishing for info because what parent asks that?). Asking rates first (and basically only question), is kind of a pet peeve of mine. And when I replied, I didn't give rates haha, I asked oh what age, and what schedule are you looking for. Then she was like, "2.5, if you could please tell me the rate I asked for in the previous email, that would be great".... Mhmmm. Does that seem kinda rude to you, or am I reading too much into this?
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I'm voting "rude!" I usually get asked if I have openings, after which I ask ages, where the family lives/works, and what hours are needed.
I don't really give rates til after those questions have been answered. -
I think I would take this is a rude as well and not reply.Comment
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I have no problem giving my rates and prefer it so no one gets their time wasted if they can't afford it. However, I always ask my questions first to make sure it's even a good fit for my openings. Age and hours needed must be given before I would give the rate. I would respond saying that prior to giving out rates I need to know the days and hours you will need care, rates may vary based on that information, once I have the specifics I would be happy to get back to you with a rate.Comment
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Passive aggressive me wants to say
"I can't give you a quote without knowing what the schedule you are looking for, if you can please tell me the info I asked for in the previous email that would be great"
.... wait 1 minute and then send an email ...
"The opening is no longer available"
Passive me wants to not return her email
Business me would respond with
"My rates are based on each individual family's number of days, drop off and pick up times and the child's age. Without that information it's difficult to give you an accurate quote." and then I'd include my rates for full time care.Comment
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RUDE... here in TN we can be licensed exempt & everyone who knows anyone, knows that the only licensed home provider in my county dropped her license just a few months ago, partially because of QRIS. Asking how long I have been licensed or in childcare would be a serious red flag, because that info is on my website
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You could always reply with 'if you could answer the question I asked about your schedule on the email below
Or you could reply nicely with, 'thank you for your inquiry. Rates are based on whether it's 3.4 or 5 days. If you could tell me the days you are looking for, I can give you a personalized rate. If you are looking for a range of tuition, it's between xx to xx per week'Comment
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Ok so it's not just me... Hm. Really debating sending her the rates. I mean, not just this email convo, it's potentially a person I will have to work with!
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Wow... ok.
1. EVERY list of "things to ask when you're looking for a provider" starts with "What is you experience?". Everyone I've ever read. I'm amazed more parents don't ask this. Wouldn't you want to know how long someone had been doing this before you left your kid with them?
2. When I was parent looking for care, my biggest peeve was providers who couldn't give me a ball park idea of cost up front. I had NO CLUE about things like contracted hours, NONE. Why? Because I'd never had to deal with daycare. I loathed going through a dance with a provider just to find out there was no way I could swing it money wise. Yes I would ask all the other questions later, but upfront I needed to know if I could even afford it. (Not in a 'drop my weekly nail appointment' type way. In a 'I have to buy groceries and make a house payment' way.)
Was she blunt? Yes. But why not EXPLAIN (nicely) how your rate structure works and WHY you need to ask a few questions first before you can give her an idea. Searching for quality childcare is stressful, and after you've had your heart broken a few times because you found the perfect place and couldn't afford it you start asking upfront.
I just don't see anything in the initial interactions that would warrant a negative reaction. Actually the first rude thing I saw was: " And when I replied, I didn't give rates haha". I know you didn't write "haha" in the reply email, but I'm sure the feeling was there. So that would explain her reaction.
Sorry for the rant, but it just seems like an "us vs. them" attitude when this parent simply asked a couple questions.Comment
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Yes, exactly why I ask.
I couldn't tell if I was seeing it wrong. It just seemed odd the way she asked "how long have you been licensed?" I have never met a parent that knows anything about licensing UNLESS they include that they are an ECE person. It seemed quite odd. Instead of "what's tour experience?" Or "how long have you been open" or "how long have you been doing childcare" ... Or Something, different. It gave me a weird vibe in the second email when she sounded like, "just tell me the rates, lady" ... As for my haha,,, yep haha! She won't show her hand, but I shouldn't laugh about not showing mine?
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But honestly, I do appreciate the differing perspectives! I dont know if I should just move forward on this one and see it as a totally normal, legit inquiry. :/ It probably is. I want to believe it is.Comment
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This is the "us vs. them" I was referring to. Her "hand" could quite likely be "I need childcare and I don't know what I'm doing". Your enjoyment at getting one over on her, came BEFORE her "just tell me the rates, lady" response. So I'm saying, she could be simply looking for care, not understanding the process, knowing that money is going to be a brick wall for her, and she was confused by your unwillingness to provide the information (and possibly receiving a response from you in a mocking tone). I don't think either of you are "wrong" in this, but more that you're possibly misreading each other. I will also admit that I could be missing the mark completely, she could be looking for the information for other reasons. BUT a reply to the initial rate request nicely explaining why you needed more info would have garnered you more information about her intentions without creating any harsh tones in the conversation. Now, if that was the case, and she had that response, then yes I agree that she was rude.Yes, exactly why I ask. I couldn't tell if I was seeing it wrong. It just seemed odd the way she asked "how long have you been licensed?" I have never met a parent that knows anything about licensing UNLESS they include that they are an ECE person. It seemed quite odd. Instead of "what's tour experience?" Or "how long have you been open" or "how long have you been doing childcare" ... Or Something, different. It gave me a weird vibe in the second email when she sounded like, "just tell me the rates, lady" ... As for my haha,,, yep haha! She won't show her hand, but I shouldn't laugh about not showing mine?Comment
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When I needed daycare for the first time, I know that I asked about costs right away. But it never occurred to me that there was much difference between providers. I also didn't understand that there was much difference between doctors at that time either. I just trusted everyone to be super awesome at what they did for a living.
I think though that a lot would come across in HOW it got approached. Someone who was snotty is probably just snotty.Comment
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Just because someone has had their heart broken and didn't get want they wanted when they wanted it does not give that person the right to be rude to the next person they talk to.
That's a ****ty reason to be rude.Comment
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Not my intention in that comment at all. Was just trying to explain why I don't believe it is rude to ask for rates up front. I think it's easier to have a conversation when both parties are being open and honest from the jump. I understand that some providers don't just hand out their rate structure. However, there is no point in a parent wasting a providers time only to find out there's no way they can take the spot (because that would be rude). Not excusing bad behavior, but rather offering some perspective on why I don't find the behavior (asking for rates upfront) as bad.Comment
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