Nap Time Dilemma

[Sunny Day]

I have a little boy in my daycare who is 19 months old. He is only here 1 or 2 days a week. He is still breastfed to sleep at home and often held for his entire nap. Obviously, I cannot do this at daycare and I try to keep my opinions on this to myself! . I have told his that I do not rock, coddle, carry kids around to get them to sleep and she is fine with my nap policies (Naptime is 1-3, they all get hugs and kisses, diaper changes, noisemakers on, etc.). I have had this little boy here for about 6 weeks and he STILL refuses to nap. He literally stands in his pack and play and screams (not crying, just screaming and yelling for me) on and off for the entire 2 hours. It is totally against my beliefs/policies to go up and get him, because then I know he'll NEVER nap! I do go in once in a while, lay him back down and reassure him that I'm right down in the kitchen and that everything is fine. I then say "Night Night Nap Time" and go out. Is it wrong for me to just leave him up there?

[AnythingsPossible]

I think it's probably pointless more then wrong. If he only comes 2 days a week, he has 5 days that he does the other way. If parent's aren't on the same plan at home, he isn't going to put himself to sleep. Two options, terminate for the fact that your program will not work for him, or tell the parent's how nap time is working out for you, let them know that he spends the time crying and doesn't nap. If they are ok with it and want to leave him with you while doing nap the way they still do, then atleast you have given them the option and they know the situation. They may decide to try things your way or find a new daycare, but I think you should definately talk with them. I don't think he will get it only being there 2 days a week.

[cillybean83]

i think he'll never adjust since he gets 5 days to do things HIS way...maybe let him hang out in a highchair with some toys or watch a video or something if you're going to be in the kitchen?

i'm sorry, that situation ****s!!!

[DCMomOf3]

it's hard with that schedule. I am a big advocate of napping on a mat/cot at that age. I would transition him out of the PNP even though it will mean sitting by him and laying him back down for as many days as it takes. I think you would be surprised to see that he probably will do better on the mat than in the pnp. every child i have transferred has been loud and rambunctious in the cribs and great once they start sleeping on mats.

[lvt77]

I have a little boy in my daycare who is 19 months old. He is only here 1 or 2 days a week. He is still breastfed to sleep at home and often held for his entire nap. Obviously, I cannot do this at daycare and I try to keep my opinions on this to myself! . I have told his that I do not rock, coddle, carry kids around to get them to sleep and she is fine with my nap policies (Naptime is 1-3, they all get hugs and kisses, diaper changes, noisemakers on, etc.). I have had this little boy here for about 6 weeks and he STILL refuses to nap. He literally stands in his pack and play and screams (not crying, just screaming and yelling for me) on and off for the entire 2 hours. It is totally against my beliefs/policies to go up and get him, because then I know he'll NEVER nap! I do go in once in a while, lay him back down and reassure him that I'm right down in the kitchen and that everything is fine. I then say "Night Night Nap Time" and go out. Is it wrong for me to just leave him up there?

I recently had to term a 3.5 year old who was a drop in. He was very attached to mommy, never been away from her. He was supposed to be here up to 4 days a week on a drop in basis. However, he was only here once a week and sometimes only for a few hours. He never got the swing of things, becuase there was no consistancy. He would scream for hours on end when he was here, he would act out violently to all the other children and just was plain miserable. I tried if for 3 months and told the DCM that she had to be more consistant in his attendance becuase he was miserable here. Not used to the structure or having rules.... did not like that he had to go with the flow. In the end I termed.

Maybe you can ask the parents if its posibble to adapt to a similar routine like the one you have at DC, possibly add another day or two?? If they wont work with you, this child will never adapt to your schedule.....

[PeanutsGalore]

I'm really new at this so take this with a grain of salt since I'm still trying to figure out a lot of stuff as well, but...

I have a screamer I posted about as well. She actually screams a lot throughout the day; it's how she communicates so most of the time it's okay, but nap time is the worst! She screamed like a horror film star at nap time in the beginning. When I posted about her for some help, we were having an off week because she had family visiting and wasn't here for her full schedule, so it wasn't the greatest week. But at this point, we know each other better, so I've figured out how to get her on a semi-schedule. She still cries at nap time, but for no longer than 10 minutes, and she's usually asleep within 5-7 minutes. Here's what helped:

1) Open communication with the mom. She's getting sleep training at home (which is why I'm doing it here), and I just found out that it took MONTHS of going slowly to get her to the point where she is put down at night with no crying at all, so now my expectations for how long it will take while she's here are more realistic. Also, since I know her mom prefers that I let her CIO, it helps alleviate the guilt I feel when she's having a bad day. Forget the babies--I hate CIO, even though I understand it's necessary at times!

2) Learning her cues and getting to know her as quickly as possible: Like I said, she's a crier, so I had to learn what her different cries meant. She cries when she's put down to sleep, cries while she's asleep, and wakes up and cries every 20-40 minutes during her nap times. Unless her cries are different from what her norm is, I leave her be for the entire time.

3) Consistency: I can't go in to check on her because then she knows I'm right outside the door and it just ticks her off even more because I'm not picking her up, and she moves into tantrum level screaming. I can't even let her hear me, which is hard, because the house is very small. I can't put her down too early for her nap, and I can't take her out of her pnp before her nap time is over even if she's crying, because she's not done sleeping and is very unhappy without her full nap. At then end of nap time, I do not go in to get her unless she's relatively quiet so that she does not associate screaming with me picking her up. I just wait for a lull, which comes about pretty quickly.

I do check on her frequently by cracking the door open and making sure she's ok; not stuck in a funny position, etc. I certainly know she's breathing! I also make sure she goes into the pnp with a dry diaper and a full tummy, which probably goes without saying, but I'm saying it anyway!

I know this is not a realistic approach for those DCPs who have more than a couple of kids. At this point, my own son goes to sleep about the same time and is used to the crying once he's napping. It still bothers him if he's awake.

I think the bottom line is just getting used to each other. If your instincts are telling you that he's just fussing at you, and you know he needs to sleep (does he need to sleep during this time?), then let him fuss. If you're consistent, he will probably learn to sleep during nap time--eventually!

Good luck. I've been reading as many threads here as possible to see what different people do for crying, and it seems like it gets better over time with consistency and if it doesn't, they terminate. Maybe a veteran will chime in with some advice!

ETA: i see many vets chimed in with advice, and I really missed the part time thing. If his mom is not training him to be in a daycare situation, she's doing her son a disservice. I believe in attachment parenting, but not if you're putting your kid into a childcare situation where that style of care can't continue. It's not fair to the kid. I still think he'll adjust eventually because you didn't say he had a difficult temperament, but it will take a LONG time. Can you ask the mom to train him to sleep at home?

[Rachel]

I agree. My youngest dropped his nap very early because I was doing after school care and if all the big kids weren't napping, he sure wasn't either! I don't think you will win the battle with a 19 month old only 2x a week. If he won't nap, I'd take him down and drop it. If you require a nap, I would tell the mom it's not a good fit and give notice.

[Cat Herder]

That is a tough one since we MUST be on the same floor and within earshot/visual vantage at all times during naptime.

You may want to consult your rules and regs.

It sounds miserable and I have been there. I just minimize this by not accepting part-timers since it just disrupts every one else and brings in too many issues like his.

Hope it resolves, fast!

[Sunny Day]

it's hard with that schedule. I am a big advocate of napping on a mat/cot at that age. I would transition him out of the PNP even though it will mean sitting by him and laying him back down for as many days as it takes. I think you would be surprised to see that he probably will do better on the mat than in the pnp. every child i have transferred has been loud and rambunctious in the cribs and great once they start sleeping on mats.

I tried this today and it worked!! He went to sleep right away and slept for an hour and 15 minutes!!!

[PeanutsGalore]

it's hard with that schedule. I am a big advocate of napping on a mat/cot at that age. I would transition him out of the PNP even though it will mean sitting by him and laying him back down for as many days as it takes. I think you would be surprised to see that he probably will do better on the mat than in the pnp. every child i have transferred has been loud and rambunctious in the cribs and great once they start sleeping on mats.

So this worked for the OP...great! I'm wondering why a child would sleep better on a nap mat or cot rather than in the PNP?