Angry And Threatening Parent Today At Drop Off

[Unregistered]

Hi!

The dcm of one of our family is trying to remove their son from our program to be in a daycare closer to her work. The dad rather their son be with us since we had him for over a year, but the mom is not taking no for an answer and came talk to me before daycare today asking me directly to "let them go" otherwise I would be facing a lot of difficulties from her... she wants me to write a termination letter to the dad so that he has no choice.

Truthfully I got scare, I feel that as a home based daycare we are so vulnerable (she could make false statements easily). And she was scary!

We love the daycare boy and he is very VERY happy here, also we do need the income. What would you do?

Thank you for the help.

[Pestle]

This is a divorced couple that shares custody?

I'd terminate due to not wanting any part of this nonsense.

[Leigh]

Hi!

The dcm of one of our family is trying to remove their son from our program to be in a daycare closer to her work. The dad rather their son be with us since we had him for over a year, but the mom is not taking no for an answer and came talk to me before daycare today asking me directly to "let them go" otherwise I would be facing a lot of difficulties from her... she wants me to write a termination letter to the dad so that he has no choice.

Truthfully I got scare, I feel that as a home based daycare we are so vulnerable (she could make false statements easily). And she was scary!

We love the daycare boy and he is very VERY happy here, also we do need the income. What would you do?

Thank you for the help.

What would *I* do? I'd have a chat with DAD and explain that Mom is trying to bully you into terming, but that while I was tempted to due to her behavior, I don't feel it is the right choice for the child, and I don't feel that it is what Dad wants, either. I'd tell Dad that Mom is no longer allowed to drop off or pick up or otherwise come to my home.

I'd also document the conversation, ask Dad to sign that documentation, as well. I'd explain to him that I'm worried about false allegations and ask him for a statement for my files, as well, stating that they are happy with care and that he recognizes the potential for false allegations from mom and understands and agrees with Mom not being allowed at your home any longer.

[Alwaysgreener]

This is a divorced couple that shares custody?

I'd terminate due to not wanting any part of this nonsense.

Honestly, when I read op message, I did not read that the couple was divorced, it just sounded to me that DCM was on a power trip and was not getting her way and was throwing a fit but that they were married but I could be wrong.

Op - I am not sure what to say other than document everything and call your consultant and let them know what happened.
This might be one for Tom Copeland to advise you on. Check out his blog http://tomcopelandblog.com/ - search him out on youtube, some of his videos he has posted his phone number and said that he will answer questions.

[Unregistered]

Yes the couple is indeed divorced. The term bully sounds right.. she also send an email saying that she considered our conservation to be a termination notice.

I don't see how pick ups//drop offs could be done without the mom. But i do not want to let them go.

The child is happy here and I need them to stay here.

[midaycare]

What's the custody arrangement?

[bklsmum]

The only thing you can do it let them go. You can't force them to stay even if you need the money and refusing to term isn't going to do anything to help you. I would tell Mom that if she wants to pull him then she needs to give your required notice and I would start trying to fill the spot now.

[Rockgirl]

The only thing you can do it let them go. You can't force them to stay even if you need the money and refusing to term isn't going to do anything to help you. I would tell Mom that if she wants to pull him then she needs to give your required notice and I would start trying to fill the spot now.

Yes, this. You can't make them stay, and I wouldn't want to deal with this mom, anyway.

[Cat Herder]

Who is your contract with?

Each parent is free to choose their own provider for their own time with the child.

Dad can stay and mom can go.

Do you offer part-time care?

[Blackcat31]

Who is your contract with?

Each parent is free to choose their own provider for their own time with the child.

Dad can stay and mom can go.

Do you offer part-time care?

I've had several parents that split custody but since they split custody the parents are required to use the same care arrangements so the child has some sense of continuity and/or security. Might be the case here as well or at the very least that the parents recognize that as necessary or why wouldn't the mom just term and go elsewhere?

[Unregistered]

I've had several parents that split custody but since they split custody the parents are required to use the same care arrangements so the child has some sense of continuity and/or security. Might be the case here as well or at the very least that the parents recognize that as necessary or why wouldn't the mom just term and go elsewhere?

Yes that is the case here, the childcare wasn't an issue until now. It seems that they will need to go to court. Is stressful because even this family stays I wonder how mean the mom would get.

[hwichlaz]

Yes that is the case here, the childcare wasn't an issue until now. It seems that they will need to go to court. Is stressful because even this family stays I wonder how mean the mom would get.

As long as you document the incident, you are now within your rights to ban her from your facility. So dad will need to pick up and drop off or find other care.

[Cat Herder]

I've had several parents that split custody but since they split custody the parents are required to use the same care arrangements so the child has some sense of continuity and/or security.

That just seems crazy to me. Create a high conflict situation in the name of continuity.

Sorry OP, I see no good outcome for you in that situation. Catch 22.