Competitive DCK's

[BumbleBee]

I have a group right now who is insanely competitive. It's a constant string of "I'm better then you" type comments all day long. It's driving me nuts!

I run faster then you

I wash my hands faster then you

I can build a bigger tower then you

I'm smarter then you

I eat faster then you

My water cup is better then yours

I don't drink from a sippy cup, only babies do that (to the 14 month old who, yes, uses a sippy cup)

*kid falls down and skins his knee, immediately another child says* I don't fall down when I run, I never skin my knees

I am so over it right now. Every day someone's feeling gets hurt, someone is crying because they aren't "good enough."

Time outs, losing privileges, talking, encouraging more kindness, discussing with parents, nothing is working. I'm at a loss right now. Any ideas on how to curb this behavior? Yesterday was so fed up I literally had 8 kids playing individually because they could NOT be nice to each other.

[Blackcat31]

Best way to manage this is make losing better or just as appealing. The kids are competitive because there is value (emotionally etc) in winning. Place value on the opposite. Recognize ad acknowledge the opposite of winning and the competitive child will begin to understand that it's not always about winning.

For example:

"I can build a bigger tower then you"
I tell the "other" child "Wow! Your tower isn't as big as Johnny's but it's much more creative. That's important too!"

"I eat faster then you"
I tell the "other" child: "You don't eat as fast as Billy but you have excellent table manners so you should be very proud!"

"I wash my hands faster then you"
I tell the "other" child: "Yes, Susie washes her hands super fast but you wash your hands very well and didn't miss any germs when taking your time! Good job!"

It really does work.

[Josiegirl]

Isn't it maddening to have to be the best all the time?? Or right?? I have a 9 yo dcb who has to be right about everything. Every single thing. If he doesn't know he'll spout whatever he thinks and call it right. And he knows it all. Plus constantly correcting those that aren't 100% correct. Oy is he ever frustrating. School cannot come fast enough.
BC's answers are good for the competitive type. Reward the others.
I always ask my 'always has to be right' dcb if it's more important to be nice or right. And the smug look he has kills me. Just want to smack the smug right off.

[daycare]

Best way to manage this is make losing better or just as appealing. The kids are competitive because there is value (emotionally etc) in winning. Place value on the opposite. Recognize ad acknowledge the opposite of winning and the competitive child will begin to understand that it's not always about winning.

For example:

"I can build a bigger tower then you"
I tell the "other" child "Wow! Your tower isn't as big as Johnny's but it's much more creative. That's important too!"

"I eat faster then you"
I tell the "other" child: "You don't eat as fast as Billy but you have excellent table manners so you should be very proud!"

"I wash my hands faster then you"
I tell the "other" child: "Yes, Susie washes her hands super fast but you wash your hands very well and didn't miss any germs when taking your time! Good job!"

It really does work.

This is what I do. I can't stand the S.T.A.N children. stan= $hit that ain't nothing.............. I know a lot of adults like this too.

[BumbleBee]

Thank you to everybody! Yes, STAN kids sums it up nicely. All of mine are 5 or under right now (for the summer) and it's mostly the 2 five year olds and 1 four year old who do it but it's spreading to all of my 3's.

All boys of course. I find boys are way more competitive then the girls are, at least in my experience.

I will definitely be implementing these ideas.

And YES to the smug look. One in particular does this and he acts like such a know it all jerk. But the apple doesn't fall far from the tree for that one!