New Sibling Set Ruined My Baby Gate And Curtain Rod Today

[Blackcat31]

I haven't mentioned it yet because I wanted to have a plan about if I was going to charge or not.

And to say that you wouldn't let it happen: well of course i wouldn't either! I was coming back from changing a baby's diaper when the older one ran into the gate twice as I was coming back into the room.

As for the curtains, these kids are old enough to know better ! I would expect that from a toddler, not a 2y or 3y. I'm redesigning my room to have stuff in front of the curtains when I get a new rod- there are French doors there going outside.

I need the $ right now but I also can't be having kids that are destroying my home. They are new and have been here a total of 6 days so far- now just doing Sat & Sun. (I know... slow times to be working weekends but I need it- charging $200 for both ~12hr days).

What is a toddler to you?
In many states that IS a toddler.

I know I have high expectations for my kiddos but even I don't expect perfect behavior at all times and certainly not when they have no control over what items are within reach. The FIRST time the curtain rod was pulled down would have been the LAST time it was accessible to them.
(easy solution).

It's not fair, reasonable or logical to simply assume that a child's age means they know or don't know how to behave in a certain way. That is just not reality. These are new children that you do not know. You are unable to predict their actions/behaviors and direct supervision is required to prevent this situation from occurring.

Saying you were coming back from changing a baby is like saying "I was not supervising them" in a sense ....I am NOT saying you weren't...I am telling you how that can be used against you.

I am required to provide supervision at ALL (sight or sound) and any child I know is 'tough' or gets into things (including those I don't know well yet) should not be left unsupervised or in a situation where they CAN do something they shouldn't.

Also curious, what did this older child run into the plastic baby gate with? It must have been something fairly heavy to do damage to a gate that was that expensive.

I have had several baby gates over my tenure as a provider and I can't say I've had any of them break due to being run into or even treated poorly (other than those mesh type gates but those are less than $10 anyways) and I do not have any heavy or large ride on toys inside that could potentially cause damage to my walls or furniture.

Please don't think I am trying to be harsh... I'm just trying to understand the situation.

[Mummy101]

What is a toddler to you?
In many states that IS a toddler.

I know I have high expectations for my kiddos but even I don't expect perfect behavior at all times and certainly not when they have no control over what items are within reach. The FIRST time the curtain rod was pulled down would have been the LAST time it was accessible to them.
(easy solution).

It's not fair, reasonable or logical to simply assume that a child's age means they know or don't know how to behave in a certain way. That is just not reality. These are new children that you do not know. You are unable to predict their actions/behaviors and direct supervision is required to prevent this situation from occurring.

Saying you were coming back from changing a baby is like saying "I was not supervising them" in a sense ....I am NOT saying you weren't...I am telling you how that can be used against you.

I am required to provide supervision at ALL (sight or sound) and any child I know is 'tough' or gets into things (including those I don't know well yet) should not be left unsupervised or in a situation where they CAN do something they shouldn't.

Also curious, what did this older child run into the plastic baby gate with? It must have been something fairly heavy to do damage to a gate that was that expensive.

I have had several baby gates over my tenure as a provider and I can't say I've had any of them break due to being run into or even treated poorly (other than those mesh type gates but those are less than $10 anyways) and I do not have any heavy or large ride on toys inside that could potentially cause damage to my walls or furniture.

Please don't think I am trying to be harsh... I'm just trying to understand the situation.

That is good advice, I have learned (the hard way) to put my mischief makers securely at the table for an activity during diapering or meal prep etc.

[Mummy101]

I know I have high expectations for my kiddos but even I don't expect perfect behavior at all times and certainly not when they have no control over what items are within reach. The FIRST time the curtain rod was pulled down would have been the LAST time it was accessible to them.
(easy solution).

The only thing I don’t agree with is altering the surroundings to prevent misbehavior. I want my kiddos to adapt to the rules of the house, not the rules of the house to adapt to their whims. To me, removing the problem in a way condones the behavior. I would rather teach self-regulation and consequences for decisions made. (Obviously safety hazards aside)

[Blackcat31]

The only thing I don’t agree with is altering the surroundings to prevent misbehavior. I want my kiddos to adapt to the rules of the house, not the rules of the house to adapt to their whims. To me, removing the problem in a way condones the behavior. I would rather teach self-regulation and consequences for decisions made. (Obviously safety hazards aside)

Common sense however, dictates that we leave nothing within reach that should it get destroyed or broken that it's not the end of the world.

I have many items within reach of the kids that I do NOT want broken or destroyed but something of major value is not something I am willing to "risk".

Curtain rod... meh... unless a safety hazard is no biggie.
Expensive gate that you don't want to replace frequently...don't use WHILE teaching kids boundaries/proper behavior.

AFTER you (general you) KNOW the kids better and are better able to both predict and teach more positive behaviors.... A-okay.

[hwichlaz]

Common sense however, dictates that we leave nothing within reach that should it get destroyed or broken that it's not the end of the world.

I have many items within reach of the kids that I do NOT want broken or destroyed but something of major value is not something I am willing to "risk".

Curtain rod... meh... unless a safety hazard is no biggie.
Expensive gate that you don't want to replace frequently...don't use WHILE teaching kids boundaries/proper behavior.

AFTER you (general you) KNOW the kids better and are better able to both predict and teach more positive behaviors.... A-okay.

YES THIS!!!

And, a certain amount of this is just the cost of doing our business.

[Mummy101]

Common sense however, dictates that we leave nothing within reach that should it get destroyed or broken that it's not the end of the world.

I have many items within reach of the kids that I do NOT want broken or destroyed but something of major value is not something I am willing to "risk".

Curtain rod... meh... unless a safety hazard is no biggie.
Expensive gate that you don't want to replace frequently...don't use WHILE teaching kids boundaries/proper behavior.

AFTER you (general you) KNOW the kids better and are better able to both predict and teach more positive behaviors.... A-okay.

Another great point, I do not trust any of them for at least a month!::

[trix23]

He wasn't using anything to run into the gate he just was walking fast and slammed into it a few times as I was coming back from changing a baby. The strength and force said he had was enough to damage the gate. I didn't even realize it was broken until later because it has feet so to speak so it's propped up from the floor as well as bolted to the wall. Not only is the wall piece broken but also a piece by the where the gate swings is broken.

I don't consider a two-year-old or three-year-old to be a toddler. Where I live a toddler's considered such up until about 18 months maybe 2 years the very most and then older than that is older toddler or preschooler. I've never had a child be so destructive in my home before and it's very evident to me that they don't have any kind of guidance at home and even when I redirect or tell them the rules of the house or put them in time out if they're not following rules they don't stand time out and I have to put them back numerous times which I'm willing to do. And honestly, some of these things have happened with direct supervision. For instance the curtain rod coming down I was less than three feet away from them when it happened but it happened so quick that I wasn't able to do anything about it. I would understand if a baby or a young toddler pull down a curtain rod because for them it's just out of curiosity of what it is but for an old for a two year old to do it is in my opinion just destructive Behavior. I have sense rearranged my room a little bit to have some cubby storage in front of one of the French door and I'll be at arranging my room slightly differently as well to have something in front of the other French door.

[trix23]

The gate in its prime: $120

[childcaremom]

I would be looking at a different type of gate. That one doesn't sound sturdy enough for daycare. I know you said he 'should' know better but he doesn't yet, so until he does, you need something that can withstand the trials of daycare. Can you get creative with a closure? Rearrange furniture? Get a better gate?

I would decide right now if you are charging the parents because this should be discussed sooner than later. I fall into the "It happened on my watch" so wouldn't expect parents to pay. However, I would be reconsidering how the situation played out. Ie: how did the child react when you verbally asked him to stop? What did you say/do after it happened? This would give me (you) the information needed as to whether I continued to provide care for the child or not.

I had a child willfully destroy a few things in my home. I decided to term as it was costing me money to keep him.

Best of luck!

[hwichlaz]

you should be able to get replacement parts rather than replace the entire gate.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I would not charge the parent. I would take it as an expensive lesson learned and put measures in place to prevent it from happening again. As BC said, create a boundary between the kids and the gate/curtains. They cannot touch the gate at all. They cannot enter the area in front of the gate/curtains, ect. It is a simple instruction to follow, so even little ones get it.

As for them being new. I treat new kids like the prison guards treat new prisoners::. I don't let my guard down! It takes time to get to know kids and to get a feel for their level of safety/boundaries/awareness/ability. Having eyes on them at all times will help you get to know them and it helps to prevent injuries or accidents. They can start off sweet as pie and turn into crazies by the end of the week, so now that you know these ones are destructive, set some very strict boundaries with them and hopefully things will improve!

[AmyKidsCo]

My policies state that parents may be charged for damage above normal wear and tear, but so far I haven't charged anyone. ITA that it's my job to supervise so that level of damage doesn't occur, and if it does it was probably my fault for not preventing it.

The only time a parent paid damages was when a mom forgot to put her car in Park and it idled forward into our van, causing damage.

[trix23]

You teach your kids not to touch the gate? Lol. I would have a hard time with that with even my own kids. I'm strict where I need to be and lenient of other things.

Just because it happened "on my watch", I don't feel that a child should be able to destroy things and have no consequences. I do supervise them intensely but in the 30 seconds I was changing a diaper they ruined 2 things? I mean c'mon.... I don't think it's acceptable for me to take on this cost, especially considering I've told them not to touch the curtains, removed them from the area, and also told them not to hang on, climb, or open the big gate.

That gate has lasted me almost a year and after 5 days of these new kids it's totally destroyed.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

You teach your kids not to touch the gate? Lol. I would have a hard time with that with even my own kids. I'm strict where I need to be and lenient of other things.

Just because it happened "on my watch", I don't feel that a child should be able to destroy things and have no consequences. I do supervise them intensely but in the 30 seconds I was changing a diaper they ruined 2 things? I mean c'mon.... I don't think it's acceptable for me to take on this cost, especially considering I've told them not to touch the curtains, removed them from the area, and also told them not to hang on, climb, or open the big gate.

That gate has lasted me almost a year and after 5 days of these new kids it's totally destroyed.

Yes, i teach them not to touch the gate. No climbing, opening, hangjng on...that is too many words and directions, versus "no touch". That eliminates those 3 behaviors with two words and creates a boundary between the kid and the gate. It will never get broken, becausd they never get to touch it.

If you feel like you need to charge, then write it up and add it to their bill, but i doubt they will take it well. Either way, if ghe kids stay, they need very firm boundaries and constant supervision until they catch on to your rules.

There is a thread on gates and putting tape on the ground to create the boundary and it is very helpful. Maybe search baby gates and throwing toys to find it.

[trix23]

I do try to teach them "no touch" to the gate but they don't listen. The one that wrecked it ran into it, technically didn't "touch" it. -.-

Just frustrated that this happened. If it was an accident, I'd understand