Seriously Stressed Over New Baby

[Claraskids]

Six week old infant girl started FT on Monday. Parents seemed normal enough through all the interviews with just a few "first time parent" red flags: wanted to reserve a spot when mom was only 3 months along; said they would be cloth diapering/breast feeding - baby is using disposables and on formula; called every month to make sure I was still holding their spot....etc.
Anyways, baby was born a month early but mom says no problems so she starts with me a month early. This baby never sleeps - I mean NEVER!!! I have kept track every day and total per day she has maybe an hour of sleep (10 mn at a time). Every time I lay her down she screams and doesn't stop. Obviously too young to CIO. She isn't happy being held. Isn't happy in the vibrating infant chair either. Just not a happy child. On occasion, if I wrap her in my arms really tight and hold her against my chest, she will conk out for a bit. It is freakily similar to my middle son as a newborn. I literally held him chest to chest for six months in order to sleep. He was later diagnosed with multiple sensory issues.
I have cared for numerous infants and don't claim to be an expert, but the moment I picked her up the first time I just got a vibe that something was off. Can't explain it, just an intuition.
Also, mom has switched formula on me twice this week. She wants me to pick the best one. I told her to pick one and stick with it because it is too upsetting on little one's tummy.
Don't think this little one will make it through my trial period. I have a three month old also, plus a toddler along with all the preschoolers. Cannot give 99% of my time to one screaming baby.
Would love any ideas.

[Blackcat31]

Six week old infant girl started FT on Monday. Parents seemed normal enough through all the interviews with just a few "first time parent" red flags: wanted to reserve a spot when mom was only 3 months along; said they would be cloth diapering/breast feeding - baby is using disposables and on formula; called every month to make sure I was still holding their spot....etc.
Anyways, baby was born a month early but mom says no problems so she starts with me a month early. This baby never sleeps - I mean NEVER!!! I have kept track every day and total per day she has maybe an hour of sleep (10 mn at a time). Every time I lay her down she screams and doesn't stop. Obviously too young to CIO. She isn't happy being held. Isn't happy in the vibrating infant chair either. Just not a happy child. On occasion, if I wrap her in my arms really tight and hold her against my chest, she will conk out for a bit. It is freakily similar to my middle son as a newborn. I literally held him chest to chest for six months in order to sleep. He was later diagnosed with multiple sensory issues.
I have cared for numerous infants and don't claim to be an expert, but the moment I picked her up the first time I just got a vibe that something was off. Can't explain it, just an intuition.
Also, mom has switched formula on me twice this week. She wants me to pick the best one. I told her to pick one and stick with it because it is too upsetting on little one's tummy.
Don't think this little one will make it through my trial period. I have a three month old also, plus a toddler along with all the preschoolers. Cannot give 99% of my time to one screaming baby.
Would love any ideas.

I think you already know the answer to this.

I am sorry it's not working out. :hug:

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

That sounds really stressful. So sorry you're in that situation. It sounds like baby is held to sleep at home and they're winging it (like many first time parents do).

[Cat Herder]

How does she respond to swaddling?

[Pestle]

How does she respond to swaddling?

https://www.revisor.mn.gov/statutes/?id=245A.1435

(c) If an infant falls asleep before being placed in a crib, the license holder must move the infant to a crib as soon as practicable, and must keep the infant within sight of the license holder until the infant is placed in a crib. When an infant falls asleep while being held, the license holder must consider the supervision needs of other children in care when determining how long to hold the infant before placing the infant in a crib to sleep. The sleeping infant must not be in a position where the airway may be blocked or with anything covering the infant's face.

(d) Placing a swaddled infant down to sleep in a licensed setting is not recommended for an infant of any age and is prohibited for any infant who has begun to roll over independently. However, with the written consent of a parent or guardian according to this paragraph, a license holder may place the infant who has not yet begun to roll over on its own down to sleep in a one-piece sleeper equipped with an attached system that fastens securely only across the upper torso, with no constriction of the hips or legs, to create a swaddle. Prior to any use of swaddling for sleep by a provider licensed under this chapter, the license holder must obtain informed written consent for the use of swaddling from the parent or guardian of the infant on a form provided by the commissioner and prepared in partnership with the Minnesota Sudden Infant Death Center.

I think you're in a good position to say "I'm sorry, but I can't meet your baby's sleep needs and operate legally."

[daycarediva]

I would have an immediate meeting with the parents and give them two more weeks to stop holding baby 24/7.

Yes, too young to CIO, but NOT too young to be put down (and content). The parents need to try ways to reassure baby BEFORE picking up. Speaking to/singing to, patting, etc

the switching formula thing is bad.

[Cat Herder]

If she is swaddled at home to sleep, discussing this issue with the parents may help. If they discontinue the Halo, you won't bear the brunt of the transition.

Obviously, only if you want to give it a go.

[Pandaluver21]

Could you wear her?

[Ariana]

I woukd try the swaddle. She is not rolling so it is fine to use. Chat with the parents about what they are doing at home and let them know how daycare works.

Coukd this be a reflux issue? Most kids who cannot be put down to sleep have severe reflux. Reflux in my opinion and according to many DRs is an intolerance to dairy/casein.

[Claraskids]

I know that the parents swaddle. Dad admitted the only way they get decent sleep is by wrapping baby up super tight. They brought me a swaddler that supposedly came from the hospital. I am way too nervous to use it; and there is no way to leave her legs out. Besides, I am due for my off year visit any minute now and really don't need to be fined for a swaddle violation

Did finally get parents to bring me a pacifier today. Dad was adamant against not using one ever, but baby is constantly rooting around looking for something to **** on. The paci is helping a little.

Mom picked up early today for a medical check up. I highly encouraged her to talk to the doctor about formula and sleep issues. They know it isn't going well here.

[Claraskids]

Could you wear her?

I could possibly, but not for more than 20 minutes at a time. It is something that I've considered in the past, as I did it with my own kids. However, I have chronic migraines and any pressure on my neck is an immediate trigger. My chiropractor is looking into finding me a baby wear system that might work for me.

[MyAngels]

Since it looks like you're allowed to swaddle (from the PP's post), and if you're comfortable with it, you might consider using one of these: https://summerinfant.com/nursery/swa...dleme-wrapsack

My niece used these with her very high needs baby and said they helped her LO sleep when nothing else would.

[Ariana]

If you're nervous about the swaddle I would invest in a video monitor. There really is very little risk to a baby if they cannot role or move but a video monitor is a great idea for peace of mind.

I had to buy one for my screamer!

[Claraskids]

Thanks for all the suggestions and ideas.

Monitors - all little ones under a year sleep in living room where I can monitor them constantly. I do have a monitor in my nap room for the older ones.

Swaddling - Until I talk to my licensor directly, I just can't. I have never used one before as it is almost impossible to find one that meets MN standards.

Formula - Mom is finally sticking to the same one now for at least a week.

I sat down with mom yesterday and laid it all out. She had walked in to see her little one crying on the floor next to a very content baby just one month older (I was sitting right next to them supervising the older dckids). I explained that her baby is only happy being walked or being fed - and that is not possible in a group setting. I think it finally started to click. She admitted they never put baby down (yup, knew that:: ) and would focus more on having baby on floor/playpen. Warned her that improvement needed to happen or date would be given for end of care.

[Blackcat31]

Thanks for all the suggestions and ideas.

Monitors - all little ones under a year sleep in living room where I can monitor them constantly. I do have a monitor in my nap room for the older ones.

Swaddling - Until I talk to my licensor directly, I just can't. I have never used one before as it is almost impossible to find one that meets MN standards.

Formula - Mom is finally sticking to the same one now for at least a week.

I sat down with mom yesterday and laid it all out. She had walked in to see her little one crying on the floor next to a very content baby just one month older (I was sitting right next to them supervising the older dckids). I explained that her baby is only happy being walked or being fed - and that is not possible in a group setting. I think it finally started to click. She admitted they never put baby down (yup, knew that:: ) and would focus more on having baby on floor/playpen. Warned her that improvement needed to happen or date would be given for end of care.

Honestly, I'd just skip it. Too many regulations when it comes to swaddling and then ultimately you end up having to wean them from the swaddling so it's just trading having to teach her one thing for another.

I'd just aim for teaching her to be able to sleep according to safe sleep standards instead.

I also thought you had mentioned in your first post that this baby isn't happy being held.... I am not understanding where the connection to thinking she was held all day at home came from if she doesn't appear to like being held during the day with you? When I read your original post it sounded more like you suspected sensory issues verse simply being held.

Glad mom got a glimpse of what "group care" means and understands you have multiple kids and only 2 arms. Hopefully that means she will happily work with you going forward.