He's Just Being 3

[TwinMama]

So, I have a 3 year old that gets away with a lot at home. I can't get him to not treat my furniture like a jungle gym.

Then today he sat on my patio chair grabbed himself....peed and got back down to play.

I immediately made him go inside, go potty, and change out of his swim trunks. Then put him on time out.

I'm going to let the parents know, but they're just going to say he's just being 3.

[Blackcat31]

So, I have a 3 year old that gets away with a lot at home. I can't get him to not treat my furniture like a jungle gym.

Then today he sat on my patio chair grabbed himself....peed and got back down to play.

I immediately made him go inside, go potty, and change out of his swim trunks. Then put him on time out.

I'm going to let the parents know, but they're just going to say he's just being 3.

That seems to be a common thought/rebuttal for parents.

My reply is usually something along the lines of

"While he may only be 3, he IS fully aware of the rules and consequences while here. Please do not excuse his bad behavior by using his age as a defense. This is the time where instead of brushing it off because he is young that you instead start reinforcing the expected behavior that he knows quite well."

Basically I simply refuse to allow a parent to use age as an excuse. PERIOD.

.... or maybe you could go with something like;

"You are right DCM/DCD he IS only 3 yrs old and I can't imagine that he knows right from wrong at that age but since you, as his parent don't feel he is responsible for his actions, you can be instead. You will need to submit a check for $59.99 to pay for a replacement of my patio chair. The other option is to work with me in teaching your son to behave AS EXPECTED when using furniture."

[Leigh]

So, I have a 3 year old that gets away with a lot at home. I can't get him to not treat my furniture like a jungle gym.

Then today he sat on my patio chair grabbed himself....peed and got back down to play.

I immediately made him go inside, go potty, and change out of his swim trunks. Then put him on time out.

I'm going to let the parents know, but they're just going to say he's just being 3.

Kids that don't behave on my furniture don't get to use my furniture. I give a warning, then they don't use the furniture for the rest of the day. When it becomes a habit, they just get banned from the furniture altogether. I have a 5 year old who hasn't been allowed on anything other than a kitchen chair and kid chairs for a year. He can't use my other furniture because he abuses it and has damaged it.

[TwinMama]

Kids that don't behave on my furniture don't get to use my furniture. I give a warning, then they don't use the furniture for the rest of the day. When it becomes a habit, they just get banned from the furniture altogether. I have a 5 year old who hasn't been allowed on anything other than a kitchen chair and kid chairs for a year. He can't use my other furniture because he abuses it and has damaged it.

That's an awesome idea! What do the parents say, or don't they even care?

[LysesKids]

That seems to be a common thought/rebuttal for parents.

My reply is usually something along the lines of

"While he may only be 3, he IS fully aware of the rules and consequences while here. Please do not excuse his bad behavior by using his age as a defense. This is the time where instead of brushing it off because he is young that you instead start reinforcing the expected behavior that he knows quite well."

Basically I simply refuse to allow a parent to use age as an excuse. PERIOD.

.... or maybe you could go with something like;

"You are right DCM/DCD he IS only 3 yrs old and I can't imagine that he knows right from wrong at that age but since you, as his parent don't feel he is responsible for his actions, you can be instead. You will need to submit a check for $59.99 to pay for a replacement of my patio chair. The other option is to work with me in teaching your son to behave AS EXPECTED when using furniture."

THIS times 10... I put it back on the parents; either pay $$$ or work with me to get little to behave correctly. After 2 warnings, 3rd time they are given an immediate term. I will not allow children to destroy my property just because "they are 3" or whatever age

[Ariana]

"I am sorry but urinating on furniture is not exactly age appropriate for any age so it needs to stop immediately". Stating it this way should get mom to open her brain and think a bit. C'mon people, humans are not supposed to pee on furniture unless it is an accident

[Mom2Two]

"Yes, he's three, which is just the right age to begin learning consequences."

I finally began a $20 body fluid cleaning fee about two years ago after the dcg whose mom kept saying she was ready for underwear kept peeing on my carpet.

Body fluid is more serious to me than just abusing my furniture. There are licensing rules about body fluids for a reason!

I would give the child a consequence AND the parents too. That is so disrespectful as well as potentially dangerous!

[Mike]

"I am sorry but urinating on furniture is not exactly age appropriate for any age so it needs to stop immediately". Stating it this way should get mom to open her brain and think a bit. C'mon people, humans are not supposed to pee on furniture unless it is an accident

I think that means, put the diapers back on.

[Leigh]

That's an awesome idea! What do the parents say, or don't they even care?

The mom of the 5 year old looked a little ticked off when he told her that he couldn't sit on a chair one day when she directed him to (she SHE could put his shoes on him). I told her that he'd had too many chances and refused to behave on the furniture and showed her where he had ripped my couch (under the cushion- nothing that shows, thank goodness). I tried warnings, tried "no more furniture for today", but he didn't stop. Finally, I just told him no more furniture. We have kids' chairs, a kids' sofa, beanbag chair-he can use all of those, but my living room and family room furniture is off limits to him now.