Can't Figure This One Out

[daycare]

I am really struggling with a dck. I have had this family with me for about 8 years. I am on their last child. This one is much different than the rest of the family, of course last born..

little back story. Parents are very type A personality. super nice and down to earth family. I know that their way of correcting behavior is not something I agree with, but not my child. For the record, I do not suspect abuse.

the child has very good behavior, but what is stumping me is that for no reason at all the child out of no where will just start crying, scream crying to be exact.

No one is near the child when it happens. We have taken observations to see what is happening before and after the crying takes place, we can't put our finger on anything. It does seem to me that is for attention , but I can't ignore this.

Example yesterday we are playing play-dough in small groups. the setting was very quite and nice inside. All of a sudden the crying starts. this time it's not scream crying, it's just crying. No one did anything to her, she was not frustrated with anything and I have no clue what is setting her off. She is almost 4.

This morning, crying during breakfast for no reason at all. We asked her are you too tired to eat and she said yes, is currently laying down. Currently is trying to jump all over the nap mat, so not tired at all.

When she cries I move her to the crying spot. to which she is given a teddy bear/ animal to cuddle with. She would stay there all day if I would let her. the crying does stop there.

I have tried talking to the child when they are no upset, but that upsets them.

I talked to DCM about it and the response was that the child is forcing theselves to cry on purpose???????

I am so lost on what to do....

[Ariana]

I currently have two kids who are very similar. The only thing I can come up with are major sensitivity issues.

[daycare]

I currently have two kids who are very similar. The only thing I can come up with are major sensitivity issues.

agree. it's just so frustrating for me, because I am starting to feel there is nothing that I can do to be proactive about it.

what do you find that works for your kids?

[Snowmom]

What is the age?

[daycare]

What is the age?

Almost 4

[kendallina]

Besides this, is she "typical" socially? Does she have friends? Make eye contact? Does she communicate well about other things? Does she normally seem happy? Is she getting enough sleep?

[daycare]

Besides this, is she "typical" socially? Does she have friends? Make eye contact? Does she communicate well about other things? Does she normally seem happy? Is she getting enough sleep?

Everything seems normal with the child. As far as sleep
Goes I am being told that she's in a good routine. I do believe the family as they have had other kids with me and the slept on good routines.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Does this random breakdown net her a lot of attention from her older siblings? I am guessing it's an attention getting technique. I'd just point her to the crying spot and not give it any attention at all.

[Annalee]

I am really struggling with a dck. I have had this family with me for about 8 years. I am on their last child. This one is much different than the rest of the family, of course last born..

little back story. Parents are very type A personality. super nice and down to earth family. I know that their way of correcting behavior is not something I agree with, but not my child. For the record, I do not suspect abuse.

the child has very good behavior, but what is stumping me is that for no reason at all the child out of no where will just start crying, scream crying to be exact.

No one is near the child when it happens. We have taken observations to see what is happening before and after the crying takes place, we can't put our finger on anything. It does seem to me that is for attention , but I can't ignore this.

Example yesterday we are playing play-dough in small groups. the setting was very quite and nice inside. All of a sudden the crying starts. this time it's not scream crying, it's just crying. No one did anything to her, she was not frustrated with anything and I have no clue what is setting her off. She is almost 4.

This morning, crying during breakfast for no reason at all. We asked her are you too tired to eat and she said yes, is currently laying down. Currently is trying to jump all over the nap mat, so not tired at all.

When she cries I move her to the crying spot. to which she is given a teddy bear/ animal to cuddle with. She would stay there all day if I would let her. the crying does stop there.

I have tried talking to the child when they are no upset, but that upsets them.

I talked to DCM about it and the response was that the child is forcing theselves to cry on purpose???????

I am so lost on what to do....

This may not be happening in your situation, but I had a family for nine years and on the fourth and last child, she began acting out. The parents ended up getting divorced and it was a long two years before I realized what was REALLY happening. Neither side opened up for a while and sadly, they moved to another city (where dad's job was) to co-parent per court orders. It was a long drawn out ordeal and very sad. Not how I envisioned our departure from each other after so many positive years together. Maybe something is going on in the home that has not come out yet? Good luck to you!

[kendallina]

Almost 4 and can't communicate at all about why she's crying?? I'd probably completely ignore the crying but keep her where she is (unless she's screaming). I don't do a crying spot. Id try to engage her in whatever we're doing in an all-business manner. If that didn't work, Id have no idea. That's new one for me! She does this at home too?

[daycarediva]

I agree with ECS, I would NOT give attention.

Make the cry spot less fun. No toys. One soft chair.

She screams, point to the chair.

I suspect she is babied as the youngest and gets a LOT of attention for tears.

[Snowmom]

Has she always been like this?

You mentioned mom said she does it on purpose- so she does do it at home? What is the parent's response when it happens?

She could have some sensory issues and this is her way of coping. Or she could be overly sensitive (although I hate that label). Or she could be doing it to garner attention in a large family. Either way, I think you're on the right track with giving her a space to just cry.

As others said, I wouldn't give it much attention beyond telling her that if she wants to talk, you are more than happy to listen.

[Ariana]

agree. it's just so frustrating for me, because I am starting to feel there is nothing that I can do to be proactive about it.

what do you find that works for your kids?

I am lucky because I only have them 2-3 days a week and some days they don't do it at all. Not much I can do about it. One of them does odd things at home that he doesnt do here as well, like falling down and clutching his legs in pain.

[Indoorvoice]

I have a very similar child. Same age too. She used to come bouncing into my home happy to see me and now she comes in crying on and off for the morning every morning. For this child, she just got a new brother and I'm suspecting she's getting her way a lot at home with tears. Has this always been the case for this dck, or did she just recently start doing this. I'm guessing there is some sort of change going on in her life if it just started.

[daycare]

Does this random breakdown net her a lot of attention from her older siblings? I am guessing it's an attention getting technique. I'd just point her to the crying spot and not give it any attention at all.

she is getting negative attention for it at home, I do think she is trying do anything to get attention from us. Although t we don't give any negative attention to it.

as someone suggested, we carry on like it's no big deal and business as usual. NO change in our voice of any kind. we just say oh no, you are crying or we point and say take a deep breath, you're ok and she goes to the crying spot. I will have to go over and say wow you look happy, it's time to go dance, or play or etc. and she will move on. Moments later it all happens all over again. 3 times during art time, 4 times during lunch, 4 more times transitioning between lunch to nap time.

She has lots of friends here, been here since age 16months and normally plays well. Of course from time to time she struggles. Her older sibling was quite the little burst of energy to put it kindly.

He also did things like this when he was here to get attention, but it was not crying and we were able to see when he was going to explode on someone. In this case we never see it coming.