Just Terminated Family....Ugh

[Unregistered]

I finally got up the nerve to terminate a family. The 2 yr old has been extremely aggressive towards the other children and difficult to supervise and manage. I know in my heart that my group will be safer and happier without the child present, but it was still hard to do to the family. They are nice people....and the sibling is doing fine here.

Now I just have to make it through the awkward last 2 weeks....

[Snowmom]

:hug:

It is hard no matter the circumstances. Just keep thinking about how much better your days will be without the added stress!

[Blackcat31]

I finally got up the nerve to terminate a family. The 2 yr old has been extremely aggressive towards the other children and difficult to supervise and manage. I know in my heart that my group will be safer and happier without the child present, but it was still hard to do to the family. They are nice people....and the sibling is doing fine here.

Now I just have to make it through the awkward last 2 weeks....

For future reference, when you need to term due to something like this or really any reason you think may make the last two weeks "uncomfortable" I'd term immediately.

In instances of aggressive behavior, immediate is almost always necessary.

That saves you having to deal with the last two weeks and it saves the parent from behaving badly as well since most parents will pull out all stops the last two weeks because there is no consequence...kwim? They are already leaving so....

Anyways, sorry you are having to deal with this. It is tough but sometimes you gotta do whats in the best interest of the group.

[daycare]

For future reference, when you need to term due to something like this or really any reason you think may make the last two weeks "uncomfortable" I'd term immediately.

In instances of aggressive behavior, immediate is almost always necessary.

That saves you having to deal with the last two weeks and it saves the parent from behaving badly as well since most parents will pull out all stops the last two weeks because there is no consequence...kwim? They are already leaving so....

Anyways, sorry you are having to deal with this. It is tough but sometimes you gotta do whats in the best interest of the group.

I was going to say the same thing as BC. anytime it's for reasons of safety that could affect anyone in your program I would make it an immediate term. As a provider I promise my families and kids that I will do everything I can to be proactive about keeping my DC kids safe. Of course, we know kids are going to be hit by other kids from time to time, but if it's a very aggressive child, it could make the other kids feel unsafe. I don't ever want a child to feel unsafe while in my care. That could apply to adults, children , staff or etc.

Just food for thought. sorry you are having to go through this. terming is never fun or easy.

[AmyKidsCo]

The only time the last 2 weeks haven't been uncomfortable for me is when I've known way in advance, like when a child ages out.

ITA about terming effective immediately. My policies state that parents must give 2 weeks notice but I can term effective immediately.

[trix23]

That's rough!I

[Unregistered]

Update---it got ugly

Well, this is the OP. It got ugly, even though I tried to be nice. Mom sent me a couple of texts messages that were unkind, saying they were pulling the kids immediately but refusing to give me cash for the last 2 weeks (which is in the contract we all signed).

She also said that I should have tried to talk to her...ROFL!!! I brought it up at least weekly how I was struggling with him and the responses I got were either 1)he doesn't do that at home 2) is someone doing something to make him act that way or 3) he is just a 2 yr old boy.

One one hand, now I don't have to worry about this kiddo hurting another child here, or worry about his spitting, and throwing toys and running off when we are outside. But I am pissed that people can just turn on you just like that. Really pathetic.

[daycare]

Well, this is the OP. It got ugly, even though I tried to be nice. Mom sent me a couple of texts messages that were unkind, saying they were pulling the kids immediately but refusing to give me cash for the last 2 weeks (which is in the contract we all signed).

She also said that I should have tried to talk to her...ROFL!!! I brought it up at least weekly how I was struggling with him and the responses I got were either 1)he doesn't do that at home 2) is someone doing something to make him act that way or 3) he is just a 2 yr old boy.

One one hand, now I don't have to worry about this kiddo hurting another child here, or worry about his spitting, and throwing toys and running off when we are outside. But I am pissed that people can just turn on you just like that. Really pathetic.

its amazing how adults can turn into toddlers when they don't get their way..

sorry that you had to go through this, but at least now you don't have to deal with the drama and headache every day.

[trix23]

Any responsible parent would hold their child accountable and work on these problem behaviors. Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Well, this is the OP. It got ugly, even though I tried to be nice. Mom sent me a couple of texts messages that were unkind, saying they were pulling the kids immediately but refusing to give me cash for the last 2 weeks (which is in the contract we all signed).

She also said that I should have tried to talk to her...ROFL!!! I brought it up at least weekly how I was struggling with him and the responses I got were either 1)he doesn't do that at home 2) is someone doing something to make him act that way or 3) he is just a 2 yr old boy.

One one hand, now I don't have to worry about this kiddo hurting another child here, or worry about his spitting, and throwing toys and running off when we are outside. But I am pissed that people can just turn on you just like that. Really pathetic.

That's unfortunate but common, I've noticed from my own experiences. This is why I document all discussions on behavior via e-mail. If I have an in person conversation then I recap it at the end of the electronic Daily Report (the title of the e-mail is always "Daily Report" but when there's a behavior note added I write "Daily Report + note" so I can easily find it later). Otherwise, I just include notes in the Daily Report about behaviors and save it to that child's e-mail file. If they try to say this, I then copy and paste as many as I can in there with the dates included. No one has ever argued after that.

Also, can you start requiring an Enrollment Fee? Final two week's tuition IF you require a two week's notice. It really, really helps for these types of situations.

[trix23]

I'm loving the fact that I do an Enrollment Fee now. Less anxiety.

[Unregistered]

I love the idea of an enrollment fee, but always worry it will drive potential families away because of the up front expense.

I am sure I will probably have to bring this family to court....and I will...and I will win.

[Josiegirl]

I love the idea of an enrollment fee, but always worry it will drive potential families away because of the up front expense.

I am sure I will probably have to bring this family to court....and I will...and I will win.

And as long as you have the signed contract, everything documented, etc., you should win because she's the one who pulled immediately while you merely gave 2 week notice. You could've given her a notice for any reason under the sun! If she knew you were having issues she should have been more cooperative in forming a team in guiding her 2 yo. People don't make it a problem until it's THEIR problem.

I feel the same as you do regarding a 2 week enrollment fee but I can see from many people's experience it's the prudent way to go. I'm thinking families might be scared off by that amount of money upfront too. I should inquire locally if it's a common practice because truthfully I've never asked around.

[trix23]

I allow them 8-12 weeks to pay the amount in full. 2 weeks tuition ($260-$400) plus all other fees. I feel this is reasonable.

[AmyKidsCo]

I love the idea of an enrollment fee, but always worry it will drive potential families away because of the up front expense.

I am sure I will probably have to bring this family to court....and I will...and I will win.

I charge $25 enrollment plus first week's tuition due upon enrollment. Then payment for the last 2 weeks' care is due within 4 weeks of the first day of attendance. Some parents choose to pay it all at once, some spread it over the 4 weeks. So far no-one who wanted to enroll changed their mind because of it.