I Want To Be Paid On Time!...Without Seeming Insensitive

[bklsmum]

*sigh* I know I'm a soft touch and have lost $$$ because of it. I feel this is a business but a different kind of business. You can't compare it to buying toilet paper. It involves personal lives, and children. It involves working with your heart, what you can afford, and not getting taken advantage of. If this were a case where the parent screws around with paying you all the time, I could see being extra vigilant about collecting what they owe. But it's a parent who is worried about their own child being very sick and I guess I'm the only one on this forum who would be a bit forgiving of that. I know, I know. Once you give an inch..... And while it's true, I believe there are special circumstances that allow for a little 'grace period'. That's why I added in my contract, that late fees will be added at my discretion. Now if this is a dcp who never pays on time, takes total advantage, then it would be a different reply entirely.

JMO

In my experience when I say things like "at my discretion" parents think that it doesn't apply to them and if I try to enforce it with them they feel singled and attacked so I feel across the rule enforcement is the best for me personally.

[AmyKidsCo]

I have payments due Thursday, but no fees added until 5pm Friday. For me it's a win-win. I go to the bank Saturdays so giving the parents the "extra" day if they forget doesn't hurt me but looks good to them.

[Blackcat31]

*sigh* I know I'm a soft touch and have lost $$$ because of it. I feel this is a business but a different kind of business. You can't compare it to buying toilet paper. It involves personal lives, and children. It involves working with your heart, what you can afford, and not getting taken advantage of. If this were a case where the parent screws around with paying you all the time, I could see being extra vigilant about collecting what they owe. But it's a parent who is worried about their own child being very sick and I guess I'm the only one on this forum who would be a bit forgiving of that. I know, I know. Once you give an inch..... And while it's true, I believe there are special circumstances that allow for a little 'grace period'. That's why I added in my contract, that late fees will be added at my discretion. Now if this is a dcp who never pays on time, takes total advantage, then it would be a different reply entirely.

JMO

Josie, that is not true. This business IS the same as any other business. I work just as hard and care about "the product" (so to speak) just as much as I did in any other job. Yes, I am working with tiny humans but when I worked as a waitress I am also working with humans. When I worked at as a Sales Rep for a convention center I cared very much for the business, the family that owned/ran it and the customers and clients we served.

Just because we are caregivers, doesn't mean we have to let the business end of this job effect the work we do.

The ONLY reason it seems like such a hot topic discussion is because we are the ONLY profession that cares so much but gets paid so little. Doctor's and nurses care for their patients. Many of them have long lasting relationships with their patients. My DD works in hospice... she held a baby as he took his last breathe... she cares alot but her paycheck has nothing to do with how much she cares.

I totally understand that this mom was concerned about her sick child but the provider is concerned about feeding hers. Keeping her bills paid so she can provide for her child....kwim? Was the DCM forgiving of this?

I know I come across on this board as rigid and strict, almost uncaring when it comes to business but the business aspect of this job really has NOTHING to do with the care giving part. It really can be two separate things that don't have to collide with each other every time someone breaks or doesn't follow a rule.

I can post about my super high late fees, my no exception rules and my absolutely do not do X or Y policies but I rarely post about the family I sent a $100 gift card to for Easter this last year because I knew they were struggling at the time and I was able to help. I don't post about the baby I have that will soon lose his father to cancer and how I have been supplying diapers for them (saying they were donated but I really bought them myself) or the little one I have that I know doesn't have much food at home so I make sure to sneak her a second snack before her mom comes to pick her up. There are ALOT of ways that I love and care for the children and families I have in care but I still run a successful and profitable business that has nothing to do with those things. They simply aren't dependent or related in any way in my eyes/approach.

I guess I just wanted to chime in and say that just because I (I can't/won't speak for others) am 100% business doesn't mean I am not understanding, caring or empathetic to my families. $ and lovethis are simply two separate things and neither defines me.

It bothers me when others (just in general) think that just because I am strict (business wise) that it means I am not like you or that I don't care. Why does caring have to mean I don't get paid??

[Leigh]

Josie, that is not true. This business IS the same as any other business. I work just as hard and care about "the product" (so to speak) just as much as I did in any other job. Yes, I am working with tiny humans but when I worked as a waitress I am also working with humans. When I worked at as a Sales Rep for a convention center I cared very much for the business, the family that owned/ran it and the customers and clients we served.

Just because we are caregivers, doesn't mean we have to let the business end of this job effect the work we do.

The ONLY reason it seems like such a hot topic discussion is because we are the ONLY profession that cares so much but gets paid so little. Doctor's and nurses care for their patients. Many of them have long lasting relationships with their patients. My DD works in hospice... she held a baby as he took his last breathe... she cares alot but her paycheck has nothing to do with how much she cares.

I totally understand that this mom was concerned about her sick child but the provider is concerned about feeding hers. Keeping her bills paid so she can provide for her child....kwim? Was the DCM forgiving of this?

I know I come across on this board as rigid and strict, almost uncaring when it comes to business but the business aspect of this job really has NOTHING to do with the care giving part. It really can be two separate things that don't have to collide with each other every time someone breaks or doesn't follow a rule.

I can post about my super high late fees, my no exception rules and my absolutely do not do X or Y policies but I rarely post about the family I sent a $100 gift card to for Easter this last year because I knew they were struggling at the time and I was able to help. I don't post about the baby I have that will soon lose his father to cancer and how I have been supplying diapers for them (saying they were donated but I really bought them myself) or the little one I have that I know doesn't have much food at home so I make sure to sneak her a second snack before her mom comes to pick her up. There are ALOT of ways that I love and care for the children and families I have in care but I still run a successful and profitable business that has nothing to do with those things. They simply aren't dependent or related in any way in my eyes/approach.

I guess I just wanted to chime in and say that just because I (I can't/won't speak for others) am 100% business doesn't mean I am not understanding, caring or empathetic to my families. $ and lovethis are simply two separate things and neither defines me.

It bothers me when others (just in general) think that just because I am strict (business wise) that it means I am not like you or that I don't care. Why does caring have to mean I don't get paid??

I totally agree with this. In 2017, there are many ways to get payment to me without leaving your house. I might not always take PayPal, but if a parent told me that they didn't want to come over here with a sick child and wanted to get straight home, I'd certainly let them send me money via PayPal. I'd let them pay a little late on Friday by waiting for their spouse to get home so that they could run it over to me then. I'm not inflexible, but these days, there are several ways to get payment to me that don't involve coming to my home. If they WANTED to pay, they would.

[Unregistered]

Update

OP here! So i hadnt said anything yet when she texted me this morning saying she was keeping her child home again, but wanted to know if i wanted her to drop off the check because she felt bad that i hadnt been paid yet. I texted her back saying she could put the check in the mailbox and that although i will let it slide this time, payment is due regardless if child attends on monday as long as im open. And that there is a fee each day its late.
It took her awhile to text back but she basically said sorry, she misread the policy, and that it wouldnt happen again. She dropped it off in my mailbox and im curious to see if she added the money even though i said i would let it slide this time

[daycarediva]

Josie, that is not true. This business IS the same as any other business. I work just as hard and care about "the product" (so to speak) just as much as I did in any other job. Yes, I am working with tiny humans but when I worked as a waitress I am also working with humans. When I worked at as a Sales Rep for a convention center I cared very much for the business, the family that owned/ran it and the customers and clients we served.

Just because we are caregivers, doesn't mean we have to let the business end of this job effect the work we do.

The ONLY reason it seems like such a hot topic discussion is because we are the ONLY profession that cares so much but gets paid so little. Doctor's and nurses care for their patients. Many of them have long lasting relationships with their patients. My DD works in hospice... she held a baby as he took his last breathe... she cares alot but her paycheck has nothing to do with how much she cares.

I totally understand that this mom was concerned about her sick child but the provider is concerned about feeding hers. Keeping her bills paid so she can provide for her child....kwim? Was the DCM forgiving of this?

I know I come across on this board as rigid and strict, almost uncaring when it comes to business but the business aspect of this job really has NOTHING to do with the care giving part. It really can be two separate things that don't have to collide with each other every time someone breaks or doesn't follow a rule.

I can post about my super high late fees, my no exception rules and my absolutely do not do X or Y policies but I rarely post about the family I sent a $100 gift card to for Easter this last year because I knew they were struggling at the time and I was able to help. I don't post about the baby I have that will soon lose his father to cancer and how I have been supplying diapers for them (saying they were donated but I really bought them myself) or the little one I have that I know doesn't have much food at home so I make sure to sneak her a second snack before her mom comes to pick her up. There are ALOT of ways that I love and care for the children and families I have in care but I still run a successful and profitable business that has nothing to do with those things. They simply aren't dependent or related in any way in my eyes/approach.

I guess I just wanted to chime in and say that just because I (I can't/won't speak for others) am 100% business doesn't mean I am not understanding, caring or empathetic to my families. $ and lovethis are simply two separate things and neither defines me.

It bothers me when others (just in general) think that just because I am strict (business wise) that it means I am not like you or that I don't care. Why does caring have to mean I don't get paid??

lovethis

I just saw my dd's perinatologist at a car show. He has SEVERAL luxury/sports cars he was displaying. He is the most kind, empathetic, attentive doctor we have ever met. His caring doesn't affect his (massive) paycheck. He still charges my 17yo dd every time he sees her. (But he does slip her parking vouchers, or call her from home on a Friday night to discuss test results, or tell her she's doing great and they've got this).

[Crazy Baby]

Might I suggest using Paypal invoices. This way, you can send an invoice several days before it is due and specify the due date. Also, if they accumulate any late fees, you can edit the invoice to include those.

I find this method might be easier for parents, because they don't have to physically leave their house to drop off a check and they shouldn't have any excuse to not pay on time.

[Josiegirl]

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply people here are uncaring, I meant that I was probably the only one who would grant her a grace period of sorts.:confused:

[Pestle]

While we're on the subject. . .

Would y'all read and review this email?

I'm updating my policies and fees. Please note the following changes.

Changes take effect Friday, June 30th.

Rates:
-Hourly rate: No longer available on regular days of operation (date nights and weekends are still available)
-Daily rate: $XX
-Weekly rate: $XXX

Payment will now be accepted biweekly only, so I can get everybody on the same schedule and keep better track of payments. Payment is due by DROPOFF every other Friday. You are welcome to pay earlier than that. I will notify you of any fees owed but I will not send notifications for regular payments.

Late payment fee is $15/day, beginning at close on Friday for payments missed at dropoff, and accruing over the weekend (i.e., $15 if you pay after close on Friday; $30 if paid on Saturday; $45 if paid on Sunday; $60 total late charge if not paid until Monday). Children may not be dropped off at the day care if there are outstanding fees. I accept instant payment via Venmo if you are currently paying by cash/check and want to set that up as a backup payment option.

Rates now include diapers and wipes, which I will be providing beginning June 30th. If your child has sensitive skin and you need to send in your own diapers, the rate will still be the same.

You are responsible for being aware of policies, including late fees and paid holidays. Frequent or extremely late payments may result in termination of our contract.

[Blackcat31]

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply people here are uncaring, I meant that I was probably the only one who would grant her a grace period of sorts.:confused:

..... immediately after posting I had regrets... I didn't mean to come off as if you didn't "get it" either. I know you do.

I also know you have a huge heart and that you ARE one of those providers that does this for love as much as you do it for income. The world needs more folks like you.....lovethis

Then maybe I (again not speaking for anyone else) wouldn't have to be so rigid and compartmentalized with business. because parents would understand how much of our hearts DO go into this business.

I in NO way meant to offend you or make you feel badly if that is how I came across. :hug:

...and fwiw, I bet many of the providers on this board would have given this parent a grace period too IF she had communicated with OP. Depending on the family specifically I may have as well.

[AmyKidsCo]

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply people here are uncaring, I meant that I was probably the only one who would grant her a grace period of sorts.:confused:

My policies have a grace period built in. Payment is due 5PM Thursday and Overdue 5PM Friday. I've accepted payment Monday mornings without charging fees for families that don't forget often.

The great thing about family child care is that we can each create policies that work for us. The great thing about this forum is that we can share what policies did/didn't work for us and why. I've added several policies and changed a couple based on what I've read here.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Josie, that is not true. This business IS the same as any other business. I work just as hard and care about "the product" (so to speak) just as much as I did in any other job. Yes, I am working with tiny humans but when I worked as a waitress I am also working with humans. When I worked at as a Sales Rep for a convention center I cared very much for the business, the family that owned/ran it and the customers and clients we served.

Just because we are caregivers, doesn't mean we have to let the business end of this job effect the work we do.

The ONLY reason it seems like such a hot topic discussion is because we are the ONLY profession that cares so much but gets paid so little. Doctor's and nurses care for their patients. Many of them have long lasting relationships with their patients. My DD works in hospice... she held a baby as he took his last breathe... she cares alot but her paycheck has nothing to do with how much she cares.

I totally understand that this mom was concerned about her sick child but the provider is concerned about feeding hers. Keeping her bills paid so she can provide for her child....kwim? Was the DCM forgiving of this?

I know I come across on this board as rigid and strict, almost uncaring when it comes to business but the business aspect of this job really has NOTHING to do with the care giving part. It really can be two separate things that don't have to collide with each other every time someone breaks or doesn't follow a rule.

I can post about my super high late fees, my no exception rules and my absolutely do not do X or Y policies but I rarely post about the family I sent a $100 gift card to for Easter this last year because I knew they were struggling at the time and I was able to help. I don't post about the baby I have that will soon lose his father to cancer and how I have been supplying diapers for them (saying they were donated but I really bought them myself) or the little one I have that I know doesn't have much food at home so I make sure to sneak her a second snack before her mom comes to pick her up. There are ALOT of ways that I love and care for the children and families I have in care but I still run a successful and profitable business that has nothing to do with those things. They simply aren't dependent or related in any way in my eyes/approach.

I guess I just wanted to chime in and say that just because I (I can't/won't speak for others) am 100% business doesn't mean I am not understanding, caring or empathetic to my families. $ and lovethis are simply two separate things and neither defines me.

It bothers me when others (just in general) think that just because I am strict (business wise) that it means I am not like you or that I don't care. Why does caring have to mean I don't get paid??

I got the feels on this postlovethis Josie is awesome too and I know her intent was not say we don't care, but if I could share this post a million times, I would. We care so much for these kids and it ****s that money makes it so much more complicated. I got burned by a fried of 20 years just recently. It hurt my heart. Not because of the money, but because of the value that was placed on me by someone I truly care about. It is a personal job, but there is a reason we have to make the personal so separate from the business. It is human nature to feel slighted when given a huge responsibility, yet no value. Value can be money or many other things, but in this business, it IS personal. The only way to protect yourself is to make the business override the personal.

[Josiegirl]

I get it. And sometimes I don't say things the right way, even face to face(it's worse with mere words). The way it came out of me this a.m. wasn't very nice and for that I apologize. Of course, every situation is unique and I tend to give more help to a family who I feel deserves the help versus one who has taken advantage, etc. But I also tend to let myself be a doormat lots of times, then end up kicking myself later.

I've never been very good at the business end of this.

[LysesKids]

My policies have a grace period built in. Payment is due 5PM Thursday and Overdue 5PM Friday. I've accepted payment Monday mornings without charging fees for families that don't forget often.

The great thing about family child care is that we can each create policies that work for us. The great thing about this forum is that we can share what policies did/didn't work for us and why. I've added several policies and changed a couple based on what I've read here.

I totally get the grace period, I offer one but only in cases of illness (most of my families drive 30+ minutes to me). Payday for me was last Thursday (monthly pay); I had one family still out from a virus that little got a week ago Saturday & thankfully they had paid a week early so it didn't matter (the kid ended up being out until today because parents got it after little was getting better), however another baby came down ill last Wednesday night... I let it slide until last Friday and even then only dad came by with my $$ and Apologized - mom came down with the stomach issue also so little is out again. My families have never been late which is why I allowed it.