Dealing With One Parent But Not The Other?

[Puddleduck]

The lawyer sent him a letter yesterday setting boundaries at home and with me. He sent me another threatening text last night after receiving it.

[Pestle]

Did you save/screenshot it? Are you going to get with the lawyer about it?

[Blackcat31]

The lawyer sent him a letter yesterday setting boundaries at home and with me. He sent me another threatening text last night after receiving it.

Oh my! Even after being warned?

It appears he is going to focus his anger on you.
That isn't something I'd take lightly either....

Please report it to not only the lawyer but to the police.

I don't care what state/country you live in, sending threatening text messages AFTER being provided boundaries has to have some sort of legal consequence.

I don't know if you can obtain an order for protection or restraining/harassment order in Canada like we can in the U.S. but I am hoping there is some sort of legal avenue available to you.

[JackandJill]

I would definitely let your lawyer know what is happening, save every text and interaction you can with DCD.

I would also file a complaint with the police dept every time he contacts you, and build a harassment case. I would also want to let the police know about his harassment and the fact that you are home alone with daycare kids all day. That way if you need to call them, they know to get there as quickly as possible!

[Pestle]

I would definitely let your lawyer know what is happening, save every text and interaction you can with DCD.

I would also file a complaint with the police dept every time he contacts you, and build a harassment case. I would also want to let the police know about his harassment and the fact that you are home alone with daycare kids all day. That way if you need to call them, they know to get there as quickly as possible!

I'm luck to have a police officer DCD. But even if I didn't, I'd ask if they could just swing around--I'm sure your city/county officers would be happy to cruise past once or twice a day. Most bullies spend their time picking on little fish and go running when the big fish show up.

[childcaremom]

The lawyer sent him a letter yesterday setting boundaries at home and with me. He sent me another threatening text last night after receiving it.

Wow. That's unsettling.

I agree with the others. I would be in touch with your lawyer and the police.

Stay safe. :hug:

[Puddleduck]

I've decided to completely walk away from the situation. I had thought if boundaries were clear, if there was a real custody agreement, it would all work out and I could keep on caring for the little dude but I think if that happens, if the DCD thinks I "won" something, things will blow up completely. Even if I get an order of no trespassing he'll always be able to find us on outings or at the park. I'll never truly feel safe. I've sent the mom the names of other care providers in our town and I'm going to start looking to fill the spot. My heart is completely broken about this but I can't live in fear.

[JackandJill]

I've decided to completely walk away from the situation. I had thought if boundaries were clear, if there was a real custody agreement, it would all work out and I could keep on caring for the little dude but I think if that happens, if the DCD thinks I "won" something, things will blow up completely. Even if I get an order of no trespassing he'll always be able to find us on outings or at the park. I'll never truly feel safe. I've sent the mom the names of other care providers in our town and I'm going to start looking to fill the spot. My heart is completely broken about this but I can't live in fear.

I think you made the best decision possible!

[Rockgirl]

I also believe you did the right thing, as sad as it must be for you, dcb, and dcm.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

How sad for you and all involved. I hope that dad seeks mental help.

:hug:

[Meeko]

DCD is obviously a control freak. You not being willing to be controlled pushes his buttons. Better off out of the situation.

[daycarediva]

I would have termed, too. I would be contacting the local police and start the ball rolling on a RO as well.

How SCARY for you, but DCB and DCM.