DCM Gets Upset When I Take On New Kids:(((

[Dsquared]

Hello ladies,

I have a mom who thinks I cant handle watching more than her kid. She is a teacher who will be leaving for the summer without paying. Her son is a difficult child but I have been very patient with him for the 6 months he has been here. One of my other DCM's had a second baby and when she started at the beginning of April the uptight mom kept hounding about how I'm going to handle a newborn and 3 other toddlers. I will be losing her son and another teachers son for the summer so I had to take on the new baby that started today. The new family only needs care through July. Today uptight mom showed up at the same time as new mom and started questioning the new mom outside. The new mom told me it was weird. I just received a text from uptight mommy stating this: "Hey, would you mind telling me more about baby "x"? Will he be there full time? I did not catch that. Just wanted to get an idea of who is there each day." My question is how do I respond? Its not fair that i have to worry about taking new kids on because of her. She is sitting home during the summer getting payed and I'm losing money so whats her problem?
Is it even her business? Ughhh.

[Cat Herder]

"I am sorry, that is against confidentiality policies, I am sure you understand. Have a great night."

Do not hold her spot without payment for the summer. High horses are expensive.

[Unregistered]

I would respond with due to confidentiality I do not discuss or give information regarding other children. The only child I can discuss with you is your own. Being a teacher herself she should know about confidentiality, plus it is none of her business how you chose to run your business. Do not let her dictate what you should do. If it were me, I would tell dcm she is free to terminate care if she feels her child will not be receiving adequate care in your daycare. Also that if she has an issue about another child she can only discuss it with you and not with the other child's parent. I would terminate care if this was my dcm because I would not stand for her attitude. No amount of money is worth it to keep her child for a couple of months.

[JackandJill]

When I was pregnant with my son I had a parent like this. She just could not wrap her head around how I was going to be able to care for everyone else's children with my own infant.

It became so irritating that I asked her if she would like me to help her find an older child care program. She kind of tripped over her own tongue for a few minutes, but that was the last time she ever brought it up.

I would also be looking to replace her over the summer! If I had a parent confront another parent like that I would be all set, this woman sounds wacky!!

[CityGarden]

Individual attendance daily my change. That said, each day we have up to 6 children between the ages 0-5 which is what I am licensed for. I do think the families enrolled are special and unique - I hope you get an opportunity to spend some time with them at our daycare picnic this summer or to schedule a playdate.

I would not hold the child's spot over the summer without pay.

[finsup]

"I cannot give out that information due to confidentiality. I'm sure as a teacher, you understand this. Have a good night!"

...And yeah, her spot would not be offered back to her in the fall.

[LysesKids]

"I am sorry, that is against confidentiality policies, I am sure you understand. Have a great night."

Do not hold her spot without payment for the summer. High horses are expensive.

THIS !!!! happyface
I will not hold a space without pay regardless of situation

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Hello ladies,

I have a mom who thinks I cant handle watching more than her kid. She is a teacher who will be leaving for the summer without paying. Her son is a difficult child but I have been very patient with him for the 6 months he has been here. One of my other DCM's had a second baby and when she started at the beginning of April the uptight mom kept hounding about how I'm going to handle a newborn and 3 other toddlers. I will be losing her son and another teachers son for the summer so I had to take on the new baby that started today. The new family only needs care through July. Today uptight mom showed up at the same time as new mom and started questioning the new mom outside. The new mom told me it was weird. I just received a text from uptight mommy stating this: "Hey, would you mind telling me more about baby "x"? Will he be there full time? I did not catch that. Just wanted to get an idea of who is there each day." My question is how do I respond? Its not fair that i have to worry about taking new kids on because of her. She is sitting home during the summer getting payed and I'm losing money so whats her problem?
Is it even her business? Ughhh.

So she can teach more than one child, as a teacher, but you cannot be a caregiver for more than one child...even though mothers do that daily? ::

"I'm sorry, I cannot discuss another enrolled family's needs or schedule with you just as I cannot discuss your family's needs and schedule with others. I'm sure you understand. Thanks!"

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

"I am sorry, that is against confidentiality policies, I am sure you understand. Have a great night."

Do not hold her spot without payment for the summer. High horses are expensive.

Please do not. It sounds like she's a high maintenance headache and it would be great for your OWN family if you had reliable income throughout the year. happyface Like you said, she's paid through the summer soooo...

[AmyKidsCo]

"I am sorry, that is against confidentiality policies, I am sure you understand. Have a great night."

Do not hold her spot without payment for the summer. High horses are expensive.

::::::

ITA with what everyone else said. Keep confidentiality and charge to hold the spot over the summer.

I had a mom like that many years ago. Sadly, it was my sister in law who didn't think I could care for my niece and another PT baby. Like I'd slight my own niece?

[childcaremom]

Fwiw, I take teachers and don't charge over the summer. They pay a VERY high tuition through the rest of the year that makes up for it.

However, I agree with others. I'm sorry, dcm, I cannot discuss other families with you due to confidentiality. And then drop it.

When families start, I tell them I can care for up to 6 children at a time. I never have that much but I put it out there so that they are aware that's the number that 'could' be here.

If this dcm continued on, even after the confidentiality talk, I would tell her something similar to above, that you will understand if she needs to look for care elsewhere.

I also agree with not offering her the spot back in the fall. Life's too short to deal with people like this every day.

[redmaple]

I would text that I assure her that at no time will I ever go over the legal number of children that I am permitted to have. Due to confidentiality though, details about care arrangements I have made with other families will not be discussed.

If she pushes back still after that, I would respond with needing to have clients that trust in my capability and judgement.

[Blackcat31]

Dear DCM

You are right; caring for other kids while I have your busy little guy in care is tough. I can see how supervising other kids would be problematic.

For that reason, when DCB leaves for the summer, I will not be re-enrolling him in the Fall. I believe your observations are correct and he would do much better with one on one care I would definitely recommend hiring a nanny.

I am so glad there are parents like you that are willing to do what is best for their child.

Sincerely,

Provider
(who plans on running HER business HER way!)

[nannyde]

Dear DCM

I am unable to discuss my other client's children with you as I would be unable to discuss your child with them. Confidentiality is required by our State.

I can tell you my capacity regulations. I can have X number of children and X can be under the age of X. If at any time I feel it is in the businesses best interest to take a child within the capacity regulations I will definitely do that.

I do not notify parents when I take children within my capacity nor do I discuss any identifying information. Parents do see children come and go as you did yesterday. It is important for my business to be successful, that parents refrain from interfering in any way with any incoming clients as they are new and will go through a period of adjustment and understandable worry for whatever choice they make. Please know that I am within my capacity and would not take children outside of the ratios. Just assume from this day forward that I will run at full capacity so the addition of new children will not be a concern of yours.

If you would like to have a child care that provides parents with daily information on what children are present and their ages, please feel free to offer your termination letter. Because of your upcoming summer break, you will have plenty of time to find a more suitable arrangement.

Please know that should you ask again about any incoming children, I will need to terminate your child's service immediately. Now that you are aware of the capacity regulations and have my assurance that I will stay within capacity, there is no need to inquire with me or my clients regarding specific children.

[MyAngels]

The fact that she cornered another parent outside and grilled them would be enough for me to term. Who needs that?