Struggling With Nap/Quiet Time For 3-Year-Old

[Kajada]

Hi, all!

I’m sure the experienced providers on this forum are bored to death with nap time questions, but…I’m not very experienced and hoping someone has some wisdom to share. I’ve lurked for a while and read pretty far back in the archives, for what it’s worth.

I’ve been in business since the end of August. I have a great group of kids (and parents! Love all my daycare parents.) However, I’m really struggling with a 3-year-old in my care. She’ll be 4 in June, and I feel that she’s fairly advanced for her age. I think she’d do well in Kindergarten already - she’s just not old enough. She’s a wonderful child. Always eager to help, loves to play and listen to stories, eats like a champ, etc etc. Here’s where our (um…my) problems are : she’s the oldest of the kids, doesn’t nap, and doesn’t do quiet time. I’m fine with no naps at her age because my own 5-year-old stopped napping shortly after her 3rd birthday. But this kid really can’t stay still or quiet. I just want to have 30 mins to myself at nap time, which follows my province’s regulations. After 30 mins the kids must be allowed to get up and play if they're not sleeping. I’m thrilled to play games, do big-kid-crafts and whatnot with her while the others sleep, but I do need a break. She’s ok to rest quietly for a few minutes, but after that, she’s into the quiet-time activities that I offer, like books and quiet games…and she’s just not quiet. She has this wonderful (but LOUD) laugh, and she laughs at everything! Books, puzzles, beading, drawing - everything is hilarious. We’ve been practicing our quiet voices for months, but there’s been no change. She does, however, do super well when my 5-year-old daughter has a day off from school. They play so quietly that sometimes I think they’ve fallen asleep! And to add a side note to that - I see such a huge difference in general when my daughter is here to play. I’m not great (haha no I’m terrible) at imaginative play. I love doing puzzles and crafts and drawing and all that, but when I’m asked to play Frozen or something? I’m just awful.

So that’s my story. Any advice? I’m starting to think that I’m the problem because maybe I can’t offer what she needs. I recognize that I’m better with younger kids, but I do love her, and her younger sister, and I don’t want to quit on her. Her parents have told me that they love my daycare and want their kids to stay with me until they age out at 12. I’d love to do that, but at the same time I want this girl to have the care she deserves, and I don’t want to burn out trying to keep up.

[Ariana]

I would start taking away priveledges. If she is as smart as you say she will catch on quick. Set a timer and if she is not able to stay quiet for the 30 minutes, tell her that you cannot play any games etc. follow through with it by adding more and more time to the timer until she can contain herself for 30 minutes.

It is completely developmentally appropriate to be able to lay still and quiet for at least 30 minutes at this age.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I would start taking away priveledges. If she is as smart as you say she will catch on quick. Set a timer and if she is not able to stay quiet for the 30 minutes, tell her that you cannot play any games etc. follow through with it by adding more and more time to the timer until she can contain herself for 30 minutes.

It is completely developmentally appropriate to be able to lay still and quiet for at least 30 minutes at this age.

Exactly. Great advice!

[Kajada]

I would start taking away priveledges. If she is as smart as you say she will catch on quick. Set a timer and if she is not able to stay quiet for the 30 minutes, tell her that you cannot play any games etc. follow through with it by adding more and more time to the timer until she can contain herself for 30 minutes.

It is completely developmentally appropriate to be able to lay still and quiet for at least 30 minutes at this age.

I 100% agree that she should be able to stay quiet. I'll try the timer. Thank you! Should I start with 30 mins of quiet time with no activities, like books or colouring? Maybe that would help with the lovely but oh-so-loud laugh for half an hour. I don't mind it so much, but it occasionally wakes the others.

[childcaremom]

I 100% agree that she should be able to stay quiet. I'll try the timer. Thank you! Should I start with 30 mins of quiet time with no activities, like books or colouring? Maybe that would help with the lovely but oh-so-loud laugh for half an hour. I don't mind it so much, but it occasionally wakes the others.

I would tell her that she needs to lie quietly on her mat/cot until the timer goes off before she can get up. No noise, no talking, etc. Timer restarts if she is talking. She only gets the privelege of using the quiet time toys after she has rested quietly.

[Kajada]

I would tell her that she needs to lie quietly on her mat/cot until the timer goes off before she can get up. No noise, no talking, etc. Timer restarts if she is talking. She only gets the privelege of using the quiet time toys after she has rested quietly.

OK, that's the plan for tomorrow! Thank you!

[Leigh]

My rule for non-nappers is that if they wake up a sleeping kid, that kid gets up and the one who woke them has to go take their nap for them. No one has had to go to nap in someone else's place more than once!

[daycarediva]

I would start taking away priveledges. If she is as smart as you say she will catch on quick. Set a timer and if she is not able to stay quiet for the 30 minutes, tell her that you cannot play any games etc. follow through with it by adding more and more time to the timer until she can contain herself for 30 minutes.

It is completely developmentally appropriate to be able to lay still and quiet for at least 30 minutes at this age.

From what you posted, she is NOT ready for kindergarten. She lacks voice and self regulation.

I would do no activities (maybe music on cd's) for 30 minutes, completely quiet, and then allow her an activity of YOUR chosing AT the table.

I would practice this SKILL throughout the day, too. Sitting quietly with an activity at the table for 10 minutes while you change kids or something. So she has time to do this at a time other than rest.

[Ariana]

Definitely practice this outside of nap time as DaycareDiva mentioned. She needs to learn some self regulation which is very important in kinder.

If you don't think she can accomplish 30minutes the first day, try 10 or 15 and work up to 30, even an hour once she gets really good at self regulation. You need a break and so does she!

[Kajada]

From what you posted, she is NOT ready for kindergarten. She lacks voice and self regulation.

I would do no activities (maybe music on cd's) for 30 minutes, completely quiet, and then allow her an activity of YOUR chosing AT the table.

I would practice this SKILL throughout the day, too. Sitting quietly with an activity at the table for 10 minutes while you change kids or something. So she has time to do this at a time other than rest.

Yeah, that's a fair assessment. Now that I think about it, she's more "book ready", if you will, and not socially/emotionally ready. She's met or surpassed almost all of the educational requirements for the end of the kindergarten (like reading, counting, writing, etc.) but definitely has some maturing to do.

She does do very well with table activities, with the group or on her own. She also has no problem playing quietly by herself while I'm busy with the younger kids. It's mostly during nap time that she can't seem to stay still and quiet. Or maybe I just notice it more then, because I'm desperate for 30 mins of peace? Ha!

Thanks to everyone for the all the advice. I'm feeling much more positive now. Love this forum!

[debbiedoeszip]

Hi, all!

I’m sure the experienced providers on this forum are bored to death with nap time questions, but…I’m not very experienced and hoping someone has some wisdom to share. I’ve lurked for a while and read pretty far back in the archives, for what it’s worth.

I’ve been in business since the end of August. I have a great group of kids (and parents! Love all my daycare parents.) However, I’m really struggling with a 3-year-old in my care. She’ll be 4 in June, and I feel that she’s fairly advanced for her age. I think she’d do well in Kindergarten already - she’s just not old enough. She’s a wonderful child. Always eager to help, loves to play and listen to stories, eats like a champ, etc etc. Here’s where our (um…my) problems are : she’s the oldest of the kids, doesn’t nap, and doesn’t do quiet time. I’m fine with no naps at her age because my own 5-year-old stopped napping shortly after her 3rd birthday. But this kid really can’t stay still or quiet. I just want to have 30 mins to myself at nap time, which follows my province’s regulations. After 30 mins the kids must be allowed to get up and play if they're not sleeping. I’m thrilled to play games, do big-kid-crafts and whatnot with her while the others sleep, but I do need a break. She’s ok to rest quietly for a few minutes, but after that, she’s into the quiet-time activities that I offer, like books and quiet games…and she’s just not quiet. She has this wonderful (but LOUD) laugh, and she laughs at everything! Books, puzzles, beading, drawing - everything is hilarious. We’ve been practicing our quiet voices for months, but there’s been no change. She does, however, do super well when my 5-year-old daughter has a day off from school. They play so quietly that sometimes I think they’ve fallen asleep! And to add a side note to that - I see such a huge difference in general when my daughter is here to play. I’m not great (haha no I’m terrible) at imaginative play. I love doing puzzles and crafts and drawing and all that, but when I’m asked to play Frozen or something? I’m just awful.

So that’s my story. Any advice? I’m starting to think that I’m the problem because maybe I can’t offer what she needs. I recognize that I’m better with younger kids, but I do love her, and her younger sister, and I don’t want to quit on her. Her parents have told me that they love my daycare and want their kids to stay with me until they age out at 12. I’d love to do that, but at the same time I want this girl to have the care she deserves, and I don’t want to burn out trying to keep up.

I don't play much with the kids at any time, and especially not during nap time. I have a kindy older brother who comes on PA days and when the younger kids are sleeping I'll put on an audiobook for him and get out craft materials. He can read, listen to the audiobook, do crafts, or play quietly with toys. During this time, I basically do what I normally do during nap time (games on my phone, Netflix, read). Any child who doesn't sleep and can't play quietly on their own during nap tie, I'd probably not have at my daycare. You need a break and the other kids need an undisturbed nap.