I Feel Guilty, But She Was Passive Aggressive And Didn't Trust Me

[Blackcat31]

I love this. I need to find a nice way to word it in my policies, LOL! "If you do not pay on time, show up on time, or communicate on time, caring for your child will become your problem, not mine." ::::::

Poetry! Add that to the list of provider skills! ::

[spedmommy4]

I did already tell her to find alternative care and not come back at all which is what I feel guilty about. I don't like leaving people high and dry, but she would not relent and kept on pressing the idea that I had betrayed her trust by taking her baby out of the house without her permission. I felt like if I hung in there for two more weeks she'd possibly start making false accusations because she seemed to be so volatile about the whole thing.

I know how hard terming is but, I think you made the right call.

You might consider adding a walking or general field trip consent form to your parent enrollment packet too. (One that parents must sign) This way, a parent could not say you didn't go over it when they signed up.

[Pepperth]

I know how hard terming is but, I think you made the right call.

You might consider adding a walking or general field trip consent form to your parent enrollment packet too. (One that parents must sign) This way, a parent could not say you didn't go over it when they signed up.

I do this. We rarely use it, but there's no arguing that you didn't cover it when their signature is right there.

I think with having so few kids enrolled, she's very fortunate that you were willing to accept part time pay. She might find it very difficult to find that again.

[Pestle]

You had a phone and were available. . . and you were taking her child outside. That's what parents want. Good grief. Sorry it happened to you--it's going to feel so good in a few months when she's long-gone and you've filled the space with a family that's easy to work with.

[Blackcat31]

Two months ago I took the baby for a walk

she would not relent and kept on pressing the idea that I had betrayed her trust by taking her baby out of the house without her permission.

TWO months ago??
But she's been bringing baby ever since and has not tried to discuss this "betrayal of trust" until money was mentioned?

Yeah, her actions don't match her words. Nice try DCM.

I felt like if I hung in there for two more weeks she'd possibly start making false accusations because she seemed to be so volatile about the whole thing.

Unfortunately, I would not dismiss this thought.
She IS already making accusations and now that she is without care, she will probably continue doing so.

If I were you, I'd e-mail my analyst/licensor and let them know what happened BEFORE the DCM calls and give her version.

A few minutes later she texted back "And if baby is leaving your house I need to be asked. We leave the carseat for emergencies only."

Do you have anything in your paperwork stating you DO have permission to leave with baby in seat or to transport at all?

IIRC, most states require permission to transport. I know you weren't driving or using the car seat but I am just covering all bases so wondering if you DO or DO NOT have written permission in regards to transporting....

I do NOT transport. Ever. Because of that, I do not allow parents to leave car seats on my property. It opens up n entire chapter in regards to liability so I don't let parents leave them on my property for ANY reason.

[Ariana]

I get signed/written permission to leave my property for walks to the park. On my parent agreement form I have a little blurb that states "By signing this agreement I also give permission for my child to leave daycare property for walks or for outings to the park".

On the rare occassion where I have transported a child in my car I get a seperate permission form for vehicle transport. You can never be too careful!

[Sahmmie]

Thanks for all of your replies and advice. I feel much better about my decision. I do miss the baby and feel bad that she may not get the care she got here (small daycare and lots of TLC), but I have to protect myself and my own family.

[Cat Herder]

She is not much of a poker player. She showed you her "vindictive plan to get out of paying" card too soon.

Sadly, she will be better at the game with her next provider.

[Sahmmie]

She is not much of a poker player. She showed you her "vindictive plan to get out of paying" card too soon.

Sadly, she will be better at the game with her next provider.

True. But most providers around here are better prepared and have a written contract and ask for a deposit. I am just a stay at home mom who watches a few kids for friends, and friends of friends. This lady was referred to me so I thought I could trust her, but wow was I wrong.

In any case, she screwed herself over because she will probably have to pay full time now because she needs someone anywhere from 2-8 hours every day of the week.

[daycarediva]

TWO months ago??
But she's been bringing baby ever since and has not tried to discuss this "betrayal of trust" until money was mentioned?

Yeah, her actions don't match her words. Nice try DCM.



Unfortunately, I would not dismiss this thought.
She IS already making accusations and now that she is without care, she will probably continue doing so.

If I were you, I'd e-mail my analyst/licensor and let them know what happened BEFORE the DCM calls and give her version.



Do you have anything in your paperwork stating you DO have permission to leave with baby in seat or to transport at all?

IIRC, most states require permission to transport. I know you weren't driving or using the car seat but I am just covering all bases so wondering if you DO or DO NOT have written permission in regards to transporting....

I do NOT transport. Ever. Because of that, I do not allow parents to leave car seats on my property. It opens up n entire chapter in regards to liability so I don't let parents leave them on my property for ANY reason.

GET a contract, GET a deposit, GET a permission slip. It covers your butt. I don't care if I had one child in care of 20, I would have the same paperwork.

[Laurie]

From my 24yrs of experience, NEVER expect anything from a client and have EVERYTHING in writing and signed. Sadly, I learned this lesson the hard way many years ago. There's a lot of DCM's who will gladly take advantage of you and your kindness. I hate to say that, but it's very true!!

[Ariana]

True. But most providers around here are better prepared and have a written contract and ask for a deposit. I am just a stay at home mom who watches a few kids for friends, and friends of friends. This lady was referred to me so I thought I could trust her, but wow was I wrong.

In any case, she screwed herself over because she will probably have to pay full time now because she needs someone anywhere from 2-8 hours every day of the week.

Most of us start out as the stay at home mom who watches a few kids for friends....then something like this happens and we realize how important it is to cover your butt and not trust anyone.

People like her start out the way she is too and was looking for someone to be her employee. She will learn hard and fast that most providers do not play her game. Next time you will be able to spot someone like her a mile away! Experience is everything when it comes to dealing with parents. You also might want to read Nannyde's book about parents. So true! I started out trying to please parents and came to realize most of them do not deserve my time.

[Sahmmie]

Yeah, I am naive to a fault. Ha-ha. I'm not sure how long I am going to do this daycare thing anyway, but I would be interested in that book. What is the title and where do I get it? Thanks!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

You did not do anything wrong! That woman is a psycho. Next time someone signs up with you get 2 weeks advance payment that you will put towards the last 2 weeks of care. That way if they skip out on payment you have their money.

Yes, please do this because there are so many crazy families out there. In the past 5 years I seem to have taken on 1-5 of those kinds of families per year. I finally have a trial period in place BUT before that the enrollment fee (word it as an enrollment fee to be applied to the final two weeks should a two week notice be given. *NONREFUNDABLE*) saved my bottom so many times.

You did nothing wrong. Of course you take the child outside into fresh air. Most states REQUIRE you to do so and why would you always want to be trapped in your backyard? You'll likely never run across another parent saying anything negative about what you did.

And yes. Of course you addressed payment issues when they weren't paying. You can't just go to the gym without paying for your membership.

[Ariana]

Yeah, I am naive to a fault. Ha-ha. I'm not sure how long I am going to do this daycare thing anyway, but I would be interested in that book. What is the title and where do I get it? Thanks!

https://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whisperer-Doing-Would-Parents/dp/1501035843/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1492107099&sr=8-1&keywords=Job+would+be+great+if+it+wasnt+for+the+parents